I'm not out to spare the feelings of totalitarians. Rape a woman and you impose yourself on her. Rape a person's human rights by imposing your agenda on them against their will.
If you don't like being a rapist of human rights, then don't rape people's human rights. Pretty simple, right?
So..let me get this clear. You are calling me a rapist.
Are you raping my human rights? Are you being a totalitarian?
If you're raping my human rights by forcing me to associate with someone I don't want to associate with, (for instance, forcing a woman to be attended by a male gynecologist instead of a female gynecologist of her choice) then you're a rapist of human rights.
If you don't like people seeing you as a raper of human rights, then don't rape people's human rights. Pretty simple, isn't it?
Here's the important thing - the victim of your attack doesn't care that you think you're doing something good by raping them of their human rights. Your good motivations don't wash away your totalitarian crimes.