Anger and Rage as a Path to Enlightenment

[Sky Dancer]

The title may have caught your attention. In Tibetan Buddhism, all the poisons of the mind, including anger and rage, become wisdom.

Anger and rage are different. Anger is worthwhile to express. It has clarity. It can help clear things up. Rage hides hurt. If the hurt, the original vulnerable feeling can be met and taken care of, rage dissolves.

Buddhism teaches that all the emotions are just energy--and they are neither bad nor good. At the same time, some Buddhist practices are designed to get rid of anger. Is it necessary to get rid of anger? I say no. If it's possible to just sit with the anger or rage, to just be present with it, it subsides on it's own without any manipulation.

Judgment doesn't help anger. It doesn't help to say, "don't be angry" or you shouldn't be angry.

What is your experience? All comments welcome.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha ...

 

[Sky Dancer]

Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we're holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we'd rather collapse and back away. They're like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we're stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it's with us wherever we are.

- Pema Chodron

 

[lizzie]

It's my experience that anger resolves with understanding and acceptance. This requires the ability to judge without doing so emotionally, which requires comfort with oneself regardless of the actions of others.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I question the part of your post about judging, Lizzie. Perhaps, I don't understand it.

"this requires the ability to judge without doing so emotionally"

Are you talking about discernment? Discernment is being clear about what's going on, without judging it as bad or good.

 

[lizzie]

I question the part of your post about judging, Lizzie. Perhaps, I don't understand it.

"this requires the ability to judge without doing so emotionally"

Are you talking about discernment? Discernment is being clear about what's going on, without judging it as bad or good.

You stated that judgement doesn't help anger. I was tying in my take on the relationship between judgement and anger. Anger requires that judgement has occured. If we didn't have the ability to judge, we wouldn't be angry in the first place. Judging is merely the act of assigning rightness or wrongness to an action or a form/ type of existence. We always judge if we have any type of moral compass. Judgement isn't the result of anger, but anger can be the result of judgement if we don't learn to separate and disengage taking things in a personal manner.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I question the part of your post about judging, Lizzie. Perhaps, I don't understand it.

"this requires the ability to judge without doing so emotionally"

Are you talking about discernment? Discernment is being clear about what's going on, without judging it as bad or good.

You stated that judgement doesn't help anger. I was tying in my take on the relationship between judgement and anger. Anger requires that judgement has occured. If we didn't have the ability to judge, we wouldn't be angry in the first place. Judging is merely the act of assigning rightness or wrongness to an action or a form/ type of existence. We always judge if we have any type of moral compass. Judgement isn't the result of anger, but anger can be the result of judgement if we don't learn to separate and disengage taking things in a personal manner.

Hmm. I see it differently. Discernment is knowing what is happening. Example, something hurts. Judgment is assigning a value to it, such as, I shouldn't be hurting, that person, situation etc hurt me and shouldn't have.

A lot of people don't know they're angry, but they go into judgment. They make the other person, "bad".

Judgment is not helpful to dealing with anger. IMO, it exacerbates anger and rage.

Some people say they never get angry. I suspect that's not true. I suspect they place a value judgment on NEVER getting angry, and judge others instead.

 

[lizzie]

I question the part of your post about judging, Lizzie. Perhaps, I don't understand it.

"this requires the ability to judge without doing so emotionally"

Are you talking about discernment? Discernment is being clear about what's going on, without judging it as bad or good.

You stated that judgement doesn't help anger. I was tying in my take on the relationship between judgement and anger. Anger requires that judgement has occured. If we didn't have the ability to judge, we wouldn't be angry in the first place. Judging is merely the act of assigning rightness or wrongness to an action or a form/ type of existence. We always judge if we have any type of moral compass. Judgement isn't the result of anger, but anger can be the result of judgement if we don't learn to separate and disengage taking things in a personal manner.

Hmm. I see it differently. Discernment is knowing what is happening. Example, something hurts. Judgment is assigning a value to it, such as, I shouldn't be hurting, that person, situation etc hurt me and shouldn't have.

A lot of people don't know they're angry, but they go into judgment. They make the other person, "bad".

Judgment is not helpful to dealing with anger. IMO, it exacerbates anger and rage.

Some people say they never get angry. I suspect that's not true. I suspect they place a value judgment on NEVER getting angry, and judge others instead.

I didn't say it's helpful in dealing with anger. I said it is a given and impossible to avoid. The resolution to the anger is in accepting things the way they are in spite of judging them.

 

[Mr. H.]

I was on the losing end of 13 years of anger.
No thanks.

 

[Sky Dancer]

You stated that judgement doesn't help anger. I was tying in my take on the relationship between judgement and anger. Anger requires that judgement has occured. If we didn't have the ability to judge, we wouldn't be angry in the first place. Judging is merely the act of assigning rightness or wrongness to an action or a form/ type of existence. We always judge if we have any type of moral compass. Judgement isn't the result of anger, but anger can be the result of judgement if we don't learn to separate and disengage taking things in a personal manner.

Hmm. I see it differently. Discernment is knowing what is happening. Example, something hurts. Judgment is assigning a value to it, such as, I shouldn't be hurting, that person, situation etc hurt me and shouldn't have.

A lot of people don't know they're angry, but they go into judgment. They make the other person, "bad".

Judgment is not helpful to dealing with anger. IMO, it exacerbates anger and rage.

Some people say they never get angry. I suspect that's not true. I suspect they place a value judgment on NEVER getting angry, and judge others instead.

I didn't say it's helpful in dealing with anger. I said it is a given and impossible to avoid. The resolution to the anger is in accepting things the way they are in spite of judging them.

Hmm, to my mind, the resolution to anger is learning to be WITH it. I enjoy discussing this topic with you.

 

[lizzie]

Hmm. I see it differently. Discernment is knowing what is happening. Example, something hurts. Judgment is assigning a value to it, such as, I shouldn't be hurting, that person, situation etc hurt me and shouldn't have.

A lot of people don't know they're angry, but they go into judgment. They make the other person, "bad".

Judgment is not helpful to dealing with anger. IMO, it exacerbates anger and rage.

Some people say they never get angry. I suspect that's not true. I suspect they place a value judgment on NEVER getting angry, and judge others instead.

I didn't say it's helpful in dealing with anger. I said it is a given and impossible to avoid. The resolution to the anger is in accepting things the way they are in spite of judging them.

Hmm, to my mind, the resolution to anger is learning to be WITH it. I enjoy discussing this topic with you.

Well, that is sort of along the same lines. I would think that if you can be "with" it, then you're not really angry, but more or less in an acceptance frame of mind. When I used to be an angry person (and I was at one time in my life), it was because I felt cheated and as if things weren't the way they *should* be. When I learned how to accept that life is just that way, I wasn't angry anymore. I still get aggravated, but it's not anger. I can laugh it off.
If someone is nasty or rude to me, it's an aggravation, but it doesn't anger me. This is because I like and accept myself with all my faults, and because of this, I really don't care what anyone else thinks or how they act toward me. Their anger is their problem to deal with, not mine. I don't let them project it upon me.

 

[Moonglow]

inner peace evolves from the acceptance of difficult situations which can be dealt with.

 

[Iridescence]

The title may have caught your attention. In Tibetan Buddhism, all the poisons of the mind, including anger and rage, become wisdom.

Anger and rage are different. Anger is worthwhile to express. It has clarity. It can help clear things up. Rage hides hurt. If the hurt, the original vulnerable feeling can be met and taken care of, rage dissolves.

Buddhism teaches that all the emotions are just energy--and they are neither bad nor good. At the same time, some Buddhist practices are designed to get rid of anger. Is it necessary to get rid of anger? I say no. If it's possible to just sit with the anger or rage, to just be present with it, it subsides on it's own without any manipulation.

Judgment doesn't help anger. It doesn't help to say, "don't be angry" or you shouldn't be angry.

What is your experience? All comments welcome.

I couldn't comment much on the Buddhist way...

I have learned from my own experiences that anger and wrath are important emotions, accordingly. They can be very provoking and effective in areas that would perhaps otherwise grow stagnant. The emotion is good... in balance and in accordance to whatever may be most fitting for an individual.

What makes anger bad? Destructive? When it destroys an individual's ability of reclaiming their peace/piece. Day after day, night after night... not effectively shedding the excessive emotions can, over time, even cause chemical changes from within the body... and it wears the immune system down... making an individual not only more susceptible toward depression, but also disease.

One of the most difficult things I have ever had to address is anger in the adolescent years. How have others done that? It is one of the most frightening things for me, as a mother, to have my children under the influence of others... An individual's anger needs to be understood and utilized... It seems horridly destructive and wrong to counsel against anger and wrath. It's perhaps best to work on adequate outlets and appropriate expressions.

 

[masquerade]

I didn't say it's helpful in dealing with anger. I said it is a given and impossible to avoid. The resolution to the anger is in accepting things the way they are in spite of judging them.

Hmm, to my mind, the resolution to anger is learning to be WITH it. I enjoy discussing this topic with you.

Well, that is sort of along the same lines. I would think that if you can be "with" it, then you're not really angry, but more or less in an acceptance frame of mind. When I used to be an angry person (and I was at one time in my life), it was because I felt cheated and as if things weren't the way they *should* be. When I learned how to accept that life is just that way, I wasn't angry anymore. I still get aggravated, but it's not anger. I can laugh it off.
If someone is nasty or rude to me, it's an aggravation, but it doesn't anger me. This is because I like and accept myself with all my faults, and because of this, I really don't care what anyone else thinks or how they act toward me. Their anger is their problem to deal with, not mine. I don't let them project it upon me.

Well said lizzie.

I find the willingness to forgive the key to dissolving my anger. Some think that impossible, that how could they let go of all the anger they have, yet it's only hurting them. Not the person or people they are angry with.

One doesn't need to know how to forgive. One needs to be willing to forgive. Start there and one will see their anger start to dissolve.

 

[zonly1]

I always felt alive during an anger episode.

 

[Iridescence]

Yeah... I have come to appreciate my levels of anger, even though I seem to have a much higher tolerance than most.

I don't want to be the kind of person that prevents others from having their own experiences... I would prefer to be the kind of person that is dependable to those that matter most when ever and how ever they may need me. Withstanding those moments in time when anger is a struggle just seems one of those necessary evils...

 

[Sky Dancer]

For me, anger and rage are never alone. They always sit on top of hurt, fear, sadness, vulnerability or another feeling like that.

When I am able to recognize what's underneath and take care to be with that, my anger or rage subsides on it's own, and I no longer require anything of anyone else.

The more I am able to just sit with anger or rage, and hold it lovingly, the more I am able to see what's underneath it and take care of that too. When I judge my anger or rage, it just gets stronger.

Is it possible to just turn toward the anger inside, almost as though you are saying to it, "hello, old friend, I see you there, let's have a conversation."

 

[Sky Dancer]

Can you recognize any of these signs of anger in yourself?

Being critical and judging of others or yourself

Being impatient

Gossiping about others

Swearing a lot

Seeing the worst in people

Assuming others are against you

Turning every conversation into a debate

Competing excessively in work or play

Being a perfectionist

Not getting along with people

Giving condescending comments