Advice please, son just bought his first bike

[sealybobo]

Actually I bought it, he got his gear and his own insurance. So how long do you think he should "practice" with the bike before he rides in traffic? He's passed the motorcycle safety course but has no experience riding.

I always wonder about parents like you. Ones who buy their kids dangerous toys. Or let them enlist in the military. Or be a fireman or cop. My parents wouldn't let us do anything dangerous. We had to sneak. Lol

My father bought me a go cart at 8. He gave me my first shotgun, an antique .410, at age 9. Bought me my first 4 wheeler at 11 and my second larger 4 wheeler at 13. He bought me my 2nd shotgun, a 20 gauge, at 13. I still have that second 4 wheeler. Some of my fondest memories I have with me and my dad together are when he used to ride his old 3 wheeler and I'd follow behind him on my go cart. We rode for years like that. He taught me how to ride responsibly and shoot responsibly. I was never allowed to do either alone. Then by the time I was 18 and could do what I wanted, I still never rode alone. I cherished his company.

He gave me my first boat, an old aluminum boat, at age 8. It had a trolling motor on it until age 9 when I was given an antique Mercury 6hp to put on it. I was in 4th grade, and buddy, I had my own bass boat with a trolling motor. You want to talk about I was cool! We still have that old aluminium boat, we use it for a "work boat" around the dock.

Between the go cart, 4 wheelers and boats, I managed to never hurt myself. Yes, all of them were dangerous. But like with anything, you teach them of the risks and make it clear how badly they can be hurt. Then you say a prayer and leave it to the Lord.

You'll shoot your eye out kid! Lol

 

[airplanemechanic]

Oh yes, I forgot to mention he bought me my first Daisy BB gun when I was 6. I still have it, and because he taught me how to care for guns using that gun, it still shoots like new and still looks brand new.

 

[MarathonMike]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

So basically what you're saying is, you have no control over your children.

What part of this do you not get? My son is almost 19 and makes his own money working in a lab at college. HE IS NOT A CHILD. He can vote, he can go to war and he makes his own money and can buy and do what he wants. That was not the case when he was under my roof and younger.

You don't get it....... I don't care if he's 56. If he lives in your home... it's your rules. If you are not in charge of what happens in your own home, then you are failing.

Even if he didn't want me to have a bike, but accepted I was going to get one, he sure as heck wouldn't pay for it.

But truthfully, if he absolutely did not want me to have a bike, and I bought one anyway, he'd have all my stuff on the front lawn, and explain that if I was old enough to make my choices without his consent, then I'm old enough to leave the nest, and get an apartment.

If you think that your son is making a mistake buying a bike, and your son dictates to you that he is not only going to get one, but he's going to make you pay for it...... you are pathetic. You are what is wrong with American society. I realize this is insulting, and I am truly sorry, but it's the honest truth. That's pathetic.

The whole reason we have 50 year olds that act like 5-year-olds, is because when they were still kids they learned they could order their parents around.

Jesus Christ, before you post nonsense at least READ. He is NOT in my house. He is 18+. He is in college making his own money. He did not ORDER ME to do anything. He told me he was going to buy a bike off of craigslist with his OWN MONEY. Are you following? You know zero about the relationship I have with my sons and you have no basis to deem me a pathetic parent.

Alright......... I'll cut you some slack. The way that I read your post.... and the way other people read your post, made it sound exactly as I thought it sounded.

And while this may have been a misunderstanding, there ARE parents like that.

When you say something like-

"He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice."

That sounds like an ultimatum. Whether you intended it or not, that sounds like

"Well gee I have to buy him something nice, or or..... he'll buy something anyway! So I have to buy it! Because if I don't he'll buy it anyway!"

Now, if that is not what you are saying.................. Because that's how the rest of us read it....... If that's not what you are saying, then on behalf of everyone, I apologize.

But if you are telling me.... that you HAD to buy him a bike, even though you are completely and totally against it, because he would have bought one anyway..... That is being a bad parent.

A good parent...... DOES NOT... pay for something that they are completely against.

If he was on crack, would you buy him crack because
"Well he was either going to get crack from some slum back alley crazy person of unknown quality that might kill him, or I can help him get good quality safer crack"?

Again, I'm not suggesting anything I haven't experienced in my own life. There were times where I thought I had a brilliant idea, and they were completely against it, and I spent a ton of money on crap, and then regretted it. It taught me to be wiser, and it taught me my parents were not going to bail me out of stupid choices. It's how you learn not to make stupid choices.

I can see it easily interpreted as "Enabling" but it was purely about increasing his chances for safe riding. He's pretty good on the bike now. Rides All gear All the time. Thanks for all the feedback.

 

[WheelieAddict]

Imo the best thing that helps you riding on the road is experience riding in the dirt. Every close call I have had on the road has been averted by instinct reactions learned from my gncc and motox days. Yes I know eventually I will go down but I aint skeerd.

Some of the idiots on the road do scare me sometimes though. Being prepared helps. My tips:
-When you see someone ready to pull out into traffic don't assume they will see you and cover that front brake just in case.
-When going through a busy intersection let of the gas a bit and glide through, being ready to brake or evade, or nail the gas. Do not slow down though especially quickly as that will get you hit.
-When at a stop, put your left leg down and keep your right on the brake. Keep it in first with the clutch pulled in so you are ready to accelerate at a moments notice. This way you will be in full command of the motorcycle even at rest. If you are used to this bonus is it will be easier stopped on hills.
-Always leave yourself an out if possible. When stopped in traffic be towards the shoulder of the road(right or left) in your lane if possible. This way if someone smashes into you there is a chance you get punted left or right and not middle being sandwiched between cars. You have the right to all of your lane and use it as you see fit, don't worry what people in cars think if you are near the lines.

-Enjoy the pleasure and freedom of motorcycling, there is nothing like it!