Advice please, son just bought his first bike

[Wry Catcher]

if you want some real world good advice from someone who rode 15 years, here I am. I had 4 bikes AND SURVIVED a terrible accident that wasn't my fault- helmet came off on impact,hit him at about 50 mph no brakes. It was a kid who made a left turn (idiot) in front of me. I even bought the same model bike after almost getting killed two years later (yamaha r1).


3 tips to start- stay to the left side of the middle of the lane (oil and car fluid suck)

- stay out of peoples blind spots

- most of the accidents happen when a vehicle is turning left in front of you.


ps- it was hard enough in the 90's and 2000-2005 to ride safely but now cell phones and texting are an epidemic. My advice? forget it.

It also doesn't matter how good a rider you are as its usually someone else who takes you out.

I appreciate the comments, but he is going to find out for himself. He's over 18 and was getting a bike no matter what. He's already laid it down once. Banged up his knee and the bike but maybe that will be a wakeup call that it isn't play time.

An employees son has a bike, and let a friend drive it.

The friend crashed and died instantly, the bike was totaled.

The employee's son, just 18, bought the same bike, and was hit by a drunk driver. He died weeks after the incident.

My youngest son wanted a bike, we gave him and his brother lots of rope, but not too much. I told him he could not have one and bought him a car.

My denial, as I told him. was selfish, I didn't want to sit by his hospital bed where he was kept alive by machines.

 

[MarathonMike]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

 

[Wry Catcher]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

Of course i hope he's safe. Everyday the morning commute seems to report a bike down in traffic reports.

I used a friends scooter (it was a HD that looked like a Vespa but had an automatic transmission, circa 1960) to toss the Sunday Papers when I was in Jr. Hi.

One sunday, the last time I rode, a women in a white station wagon turned right from the right hand lane directly in front of me. I braked hard and laid the scooter down, only getting scrapes and bruised.

She stopped and I said, I'm ok and rode away; didn't have a license to drive and didn't want to get in trouble.

 

[Andylusion]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

Um.... ok that is exactly the kind of wimp response that drives me up the freakin wall.

Who is the parent, and who is the child?

Actually forget you. You are the child.

To everyone else, be the parent. Your kids are walking all over you, you kick them out! For heaven sakes! Am I the only one that had an actual father??? My father would have smacked my head so hard, I'd look like a daffy duck cartoon.

My father, was in charge. His house, his rules, his money, his clothes, his everything.

He was the *MAN*. He did not let me, as the child, give him an ultimatum! Are you KIDDING ME??

"You either buy me something reliable, or I'll buy junk off of Ebay"

Oh well gee, I'm a week pathetic wimp of a person, so I better do what my child says or he'll get mad........

As long as I lived under my parents roof, I followed their rules, and when I didn't want to follow their rules, I moved out. Now in my home, it's my rules, and when people rent out my spare bedroom... they follow my rules, are they are not there anymore.

GROW A SPINE. Children are not your masters. And if they are, and you think you have to follow what your kid says, then you are a TERRIBLE PARENT.

How did we get from puritan, children are to be taught to be adults... to parents obey your children?

 

[007]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

So basically what you're saying is, you have no control over your children.

 

[MarathonMike]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

So basically what you're saying is, you have no control over your children.

What part of this do you not get? My son is almost 19 and makes his own money working in a lab at college. HE IS NOT A CHILD. He can vote, he can go to war and he makes his own money and can buy and do what he wants. That was not the case when he was under my roof and younger.

 

[Andylusion]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

So basically what you're saying is, you have no control over your children.

What part of this do you not get? My son is almost 19 and makes his own money working in a lab at college. HE IS NOT A CHILD. He can vote, he can go to war and he makes his own money and can buy and do what he wants. That was not the case when he was under my roof and younger.

You don't get it....... I don't care if he's 56. If he lives in your home... it's your rules. If you are not in charge of what happens in your own home, then you are failing.

Even if he didn't want me to have a bike, but accepted I was going to get one, he sure as heck wouldn't pay for it.

But truthfully, if he absolutely did not want me to have a bike, and I bought one anyway, he'd have all my stuff on the front lawn, and explain that if I was old enough to make my choices without his consent, then I'm old enough to leave the nest, and get an apartment.

If you think that your son is making a mistake buying a bike, and your son dictates to you that he is not only going to get one, but he's going to make you pay for it...... you are pathetic. You are what is wrong with American society. I realize this is insulting, and I am truly sorry, but it's the honest truth. That's pathetic.

The whole reason we have 50 year olds that act like 5-year-olds, is because when they were still kids they learned they could order their parents around.

 

[MarathonMike]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

So basically what you're saying is, you have no control over your children.

What part of this do you not get? My son is almost 19 and makes his own money working in a lab at college. HE IS NOT A CHILD. He can vote, he can go to war and he makes his own money and can buy and do what he wants. That was not the case when he was under my roof and younger.

You don't get it....... I don't care if he's 56. If he lives in your home... it's your rules. If you are not in charge of what happens in your own home, then you are failing.

Even if he didn't want me to have a bike, but accepted I was going to get one, he sure as heck wouldn't pay for it.

But truthfully, if he absolutely did not want me to have a bike, and I bought one anyway, he'd have all my stuff on the front lawn, and explain that if I was old enough to make my choices without his consent, then I'm old enough to leave the nest, and get an apartment.

If you think that your son is making a mistake buying a bike, and your son dictates to you that he is not only going to get one, but he's going to make you pay for it...... you are pathetic. You are what is wrong with American society. I realize this is insulting, and I am truly sorry, but it's the honest truth. That's pathetic.

The whole reason we have 50 year olds that act like 5-year-olds, is because when they were still kids they learned they could order their parents around.

Jesus Christ, before you post nonsense at least READ. He is NOT in my house. He is 18+. He is in college making his own money. He did not ORDER ME to do anything. He told me he was going to buy a bike off of craigslist with his OWN MONEY. Are you following? You know zero about the relationship I have with my sons and you have no basis to deem me a pathetic parent.

 

[Jarlaxle]

if you want some real world good advice from someone who rode 15 years, here I am. I had 4 bikes AND SURVIVED a terrible accident that wasn't my fault- helmet came off on impact,hit him at about 50 mph no brakes. It was a kid who made a left turn (idiot) in front of me. I even bought the same model bike after almost getting killed two years later (yamaha r1).


3 tips to start- stay to the left side of the middle of the lane (oil and car fluid suck)

- stay out of peoples blind spots

- most of the accidents happen when a vehicle is turning left in front of you.


ps- it was hard enough in the 90's and 2000-2005 to ride safely but now cell phones and texting are an epidemic. My advice? forget it.

It also doesn't matter how good a rider you are as its usually someone else who takes you out.

I appreciate the comments, but he is going to find out for himself. He's over 18 and was getting a bike no matter what. He's already laid it down once. Banged up his knee and the bike but maybe that will be a wakeup call that it isn't play time.

An employees son has a bike, and let a friend drive it.

The friend crashed and died instantly, the bike was totaled.

The employee's son, just 18, bought the same bike, and was hit by a drunk driver. He died weeks after the incident.

My youngest son wanted a bike, we gave him and his brother lots of rope, but not too much. I told him he could not have one and bought him a car.

My denial, as I told him. was selfish, I didn't want to sit by his hospital bed where he was kept alive by machines.

That's a great way to have him resent you until he's 18, then buy something insane (like, say, a 1000+cc sportbike) the day he can do so.

 

[Jarlaxle]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

Um.... ok that is exactly the kind of wimp response that drives me up the freakin wall.

Who is the parent, and who is the child?

Actually forget you. You are the child.

To everyone else, be the parent. Your kids are walking all over you, you kick them out! For heaven sakes! Am I the only one that had an actual father??? My father would have smacked my head so hard, I'd look like a daffy duck cartoon.


My father, was in charge. His house, his rules, his money, his clothes, his everything.

He was the *MAN*. He did not let me, as the child, give him an ultimatum! Are you KIDDING ME??

"You either buy me something reliable, or I'll buy junk off of Ebay"

Oh well gee, I'm a week pathetic wimp of a person, so I better do what my child says or he'll get mad........

As long as I lived under my parents roof, I followed their rules, and when I didn't want to follow their rules, I moved out. Now in my home, it's my rules, and when people rent out my spare bedroom... they follow my rules, are they are not there anymore.

GROW A SPINE. Children are not your masters. And if they are, and you think you have to follow what your kid says, then you are a TERRIBLE PARENT.

How did we get from puritan, children are to be taught to be adults... to parents obey your children?

I work with someone that did that...the result being that the only thing his daughter has said to him in over a year is various phrasings of, "I hate you," and "I hope you die." It has already cost him his daughter and will probably cost him his marriage soon.

 

[Andylusion]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

So basically what you're saying is, you have no control over your children.

What part of this do you not get? My son is almost 19 and makes his own money working in a lab at college. HE IS NOT A CHILD. He can vote, he can go to war and he makes his own money and can buy and do what he wants. That was not the case when he was under my roof and younger.

You don't get it....... I don't care if he's 56. If he lives in your home... it's your rules. If you are not in charge of what happens in your own home, then you are failing.

Even if he didn't want me to have a bike, but accepted I was going to get one, he sure as heck wouldn't pay for it.

But truthfully, if he absolutely did not want me to have a bike, and I bought one anyway, he'd have all my stuff on the front lawn, and explain that if I was old enough to make my choices without his consent, then I'm old enough to leave the nest, and get an apartment.

If you think that your son is making a mistake buying a bike, and your son dictates to you that he is not only going to get one, but he's going to make you pay for it...... you are pathetic. You are what is wrong with American society. I realize this is insulting, and I am truly sorry, but it's the honest truth. That's pathetic.

The whole reason we have 50 year olds that act like 5-year-olds, is because when they were still kids they learned they could order their parents around.

Jesus Christ, before you post nonsense at least READ. He is NOT in my house. He is 18+. He is in college making his own money. He did not ORDER ME to do anything. He told me he was going to buy a bike off of craigslist with his OWN MONEY. Are you following? You know zero about the relationship I have with my sons and you have no basis to deem me a pathetic parent.

Alright......... I'll cut you some slack. The way that I read your post.... and the way other people read your post, made it sound exactly as I thought it sounded.

And while this may have been a misunderstanding, there ARE parents like that.

When you say something like-

"He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice."

That sounds like an ultimatum. Whether you intended it or not, that sounds like

"Well gee I have to buy him something nice, or or..... he'll buy something anyway! So I have to buy it! Because if I don't he'll buy it anyway!"

Now, if that is not what you are saying.................. Because that's how the rest of us read it....... If that's not what you are saying, then on behalf of everyone, I apologize.

But if you are telling me.... that you HAD to buy him a bike, even though you are completely and totally against it, because he would have bought one anyway..... That is being a bad parent.

A good parent...... DOES NOT... pay for something that they are completely against.

If he was on crack, would you buy him crack because
"Well he was either going to get crack from some slum back alley crazy person of unknown quality that might kill him, or I can help him get good quality safer crack"?

Again, I'm not suggesting anything I haven't experienced in my own life. There were times where I thought I had a brilliant idea, and they were completely against it, and I spent a ton of money on crap, and then regretted it. It taught me to be wiser, and it taught me my parents were not going to bail me out of stupid choices. It's how you learn not to make stupid choices.

 

[Andylusion]

I know all about the statistics and the horror stories and I am definitely do not like it. I'm glad your son listened to you. My sons call their own shots just like I did when I was their age. He was either going to get some POS off of craigslist or I was going to help him get something reliable. That was the choice.

Um.... ok that is exactly the kind of wimp response that drives me up the freakin wall.

Who is the parent, and who is the child?

Actually forget you. You are the child.

To everyone else, be the parent. Your kids are walking all over you, you kick them out! For heaven sakes! Am I the only one that had an actual father??? My father would have smacked my head so hard, I'd look like a daffy duck cartoon.


My father, was in charge. His house, his rules, his money, his clothes, his everything.

He was the *MAN*. He did not let me, as the child, give him an ultimatum! Are you KIDDING ME??

"You either buy me something reliable, or I'll buy junk off of Ebay"

Oh well gee, I'm a week pathetic wimp of a person, so I better do what my child says or he'll get mad........

As long as I lived under my parents roof, I followed their rules, and when I didn't want to follow their rules, I moved out. Now in my home, it's my rules, and when people rent out my spare bedroom... they follow my rules, are they are not there anymore.

GROW A SPINE. Children are not your masters. And if they are, and you think you have to follow what your kid says, then you are a TERRIBLE PARENT.

How did we get from puritan, children are to be taught to be adults... to parents obey your children?

I work with someone that did that...the result being that the only thing his daughter has said to him in over a year is various phrasings of, "I hate you," and "I hope you die." It has already cost him his daughter and will probably cost him his marriage soon.

Funny, because both me and my sister, greatly respect our father. My mother and him, are completely inseparable. They don't do anything... as in.... ANYTHING without each other. Now he has six grand kids, and we still meet up every other week.

I think the problem with your analysis, is that I relayed to you how he would respond to me, or my sister, telling him that he had to buy us a motor cycle (or anything), as if he owed us. My parents never owed either of us anything. They gave us everything. We owed them. And if we didn't like it, we could leave.

But obviously, that's only one response in a given situation.

My father is one of the absolute selfless generous, and kind individuals you could ever have known. He does nice things that even I would likely never do.

One of his former students (he was a public school teacher), came into town, and asked for help. No money, no job. My father rented an apartment for him with pre-paid 2 months rent. Got him clothes, and a car (cheap used, but reliable), and even set him up with a job.

But being kind, and being pathetic wimp... are two very different things. Giving into demands by other people is not kind, it's pathetic and spineless. It's these people who roll over every time someone demands something, and then are shocked no one respects them.

 

[IsaacNewton]

Actually I bought it, he got his gear and his own insurance. So how long do you think he should "practice" with the bike before he rides in traffic? He's passed the motorcycle safety course but has no experience riding.

The main thing is HE has to to watch out for everyone in a car as some of them will not see a motorocycle even right in front of their face.

And he should practice in a parking lot and on backroads a lot as indicated earlier. He should have an overall control of the bike at all times, including emergency stops, avoiding things at the last second, seeing far ahead while at the same time seeing everything nearby. Turning, braking, how to travel down and up hills, around hairy turns.

You have to master a motorcycle far more than you do a car.

 

[Wry Catcher]

if you want some real world good advice from someone who rode 15 years, here I am. I had 4 bikes AND SURVIVED a terrible accident that wasn't my fault- helmet came off on impact,hit him at about 50 mph no brakes. It was a kid who made a left turn (idiot) in front of me. I even bought the same model bike after almost getting killed two years later (yamaha r1).


3 tips to start- stay to the left side of the middle of the lane (oil and car fluid suck)

- stay out of peoples blind spots

- most of the accidents happen when a vehicle is turning left in front of you.


ps- it was hard enough in the 90's and 2000-2005 to ride safely but now cell phones and texting are an epidemic. My advice? forget it.

It also doesn't matter how good a rider you are as its usually someone else who takes you out.

I appreciate the comments, but he is going to find out for himself. He's over 18 and was getting a bike no matter what. He's already laid it down once. Banged up his knee and the bike but maybe that will be a wakeup call that it isn't play time.

An employees son has a bike, and let a friend drive it.

The friend crashed and died instantly, the bike was totaled.

The employee's son, just 18, bought the same bike, and was hit by a drunk driver. He died weeks after the incident.

My youngest son wanted a bike, we gave him and his brother lots of rope, but not too much. I told him he could not have one and bought him a car.

My denial, as I told him. was selfish, I didn't want to sit by his hospital bed where he was kept alive by machines.

That's a great way to have him resent you until he's 18, then buy something insane (like, say, a 1000+cc sportbike) the day he can do so.

Well, he hasn't, nor did he get a tattoo or put a diamond stud in his ear lob, both were the fad on his HS Baseball Team. Today, a dozen years later he his married with a child on the way and holds not an ounce of resentment for my fatherly advice.

Being a parent is much more than working to make sure your child likes you all the time, so he or she gets what they want all the time.

 

[Swagger]

The first bike I bought, Triumph 350, I rode it to Rome and back a month or so after I bought it. A roll of notes in my pocket, a knife in my boot and a pup tent rolled up on the pillion seat. Best holiday ever.

 

[Andylusion]

The first bike I bought, Triumph 350, I rode it to Rome and back a month or so after I bought it. A roll of notes in my pocket, a knife in my boot and a pup tent rolled up on the pillion seat. Best holiday ever.

Not sure if that qualifies as a Holy Day (holiday).... but yeah that sounds like an amazing vacation. I think everyone should do something like that before going to college. Take a year off between lower and higher education, to travel somewhere.

What did you think of Rome? I hated it. Millions of noisy dirty scooters speeding in all directions all the time.

 

[Dajjal]

What did you think of Rome? I hated it. Millions of noisy dirty scooters speeding in all directions all the time.

I did not have a motorcycle when I was in Rome but I found there is only one way to cross the road in heavy traffic. You wait for a nun to cross first and follow close behind her. I saw a nun walk straight out into the road without looking and all the traffic was forced to brake to avoid hitting her. Nuns think they are immortal and protected by God and Italians think it is a sin to run one over.

 

[Wry Catcher]

The first bike I bought, Triumph 350, I rode it to Rome and back a month or so after I bought it. A roll of notes in my pocket, a knife in my boot and a pup tent rolled up on the pillion seat. Best holiday ever.

Not sure if that qualifies as a Holy Day (holiday).... but yeah that sounds like an amazing vacation. I think everyone should do something like that before going to college. Take a year off between lower and higher education, to travel somewhere.

What did you think of Rome? I hated it. Millions of noisy dirty scooters speeding in all directions all the time.

We went to Rome in October, specifically to miss the crowds. That failed, it was like Time's Sq. NYC on New Years Eve, and not only at the Tourist attractions.

In Naples, my wife wanted (of all things) Burger King french fries, to get to BK we needed to cross a very busy major street which separated the Port from the city, that was like trying to cross the brickyard at Indy at the start of the race; red lights in Naples don't necessarily make the scooters, taxi cabs and Smart Cars slow down.

 

[DGS49]

"Riding in traffic" is a relative thing. Start riding on streets and at times when traffic is light, then gradually move to more crowded places and circumstances.

Recognize that regardless of one's skill or experience at riding, it will ALWAYS be better to take the route that is less congested, even if it makes the trip a little longer. Hell, a longer trip on a bike is a GOOD thing!

The unfortunate thing about the learning process is that many of the lessons come when you have a close call or even an accident. It took me a long time to learn to be diligent about watching out for cars coming from behind me. I would glance in my mirrors occasionally, then be surprised when a car came up on me "too fast." You have to know always what vehicles are around you because even a minor "touch" can be fatal at 70 mph.

 

[airplanemechanic]

Actually I bought it, he got his gear and his own insurance. So how long do you think he should "practice" with the bike before he rides in traffic? He's passed the motorcycle safety course but has no experience riding.

I always wonder about parents like you. Ones who buy their kids dangerous toys. Or let them enlist in the military. Or be a fireman or cop. My parents wouldn't let us do anything dangerous. We had to sneak. Lol

My father bought me a go cart at 8. He gave me my first shotgun, an antique .410, at age 9. Bought me my first 4 wheeler at 11 and my second larger 4 wheeler at 13. He bought me my 2nd shotgun, a 20 gauge, at 13. I still have that second 4 wheeler. Some of my fondest memories I have with me and my dad together are when he used to ride his old 3 wheeler and I'd follow behind him on my go cart. We rode for years like that. He taught me how to ride responsibly and shoot responsibly. I was never allowed to do either alone. Then by the time I was 18 and could do what I wanted, I still never rode alone. I cherished his company.

He gave me my first boat, an old aluminum boat, at age 8. It had a trolling motor on it until age 9 when I was given an antique Mercury 6hp to put on it. I was in 4th grade, and buddy, I had my own bass boat with a trolling motor. You want to talk about I was cool! We still have that old aluminium boat, we use it for a "work boat" around the dock.

Between the go cart, 4 wheelers and boats, I managed to never hurt myself. Yes, all of them were dangerous. But like with anything, you teach them of the risks and make it clear how badly they can be hurt. Then you say a prayer and leave it to the Lord.