Adoption creates an infant trauma when separated from the birth mother

[Hafar1014]

Further complicating the adoptive family system is a memory process that is common among adoptees but little known by therapists, social workers, parents, and the adoptees themselves. There is a disconnection in adoptees between their emotions and their ability to identify them. This is the core issue in adoption and it is the foundation of most of the problems that occur in adoptive parenting.

Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).

An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.

 

[braalian]

Further complicating the adoptive family system is a memory process that is common among adoptees but little known by therapists, social workers, parents, and the adoptees themselves. There is a disconnection in adoptees between their emotions and their ability to identify them. This is the core issue in adoption and it is the foundation of most of the problems that occur in adoptive parenting.

Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).

An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Finding out you were adopted is difficult information to deal with even under the best of circumstances.

But you’re painting with some very broad strokes here….

What be is your overall point your trying to make? Are you anti-adoption?

 

[Hafar1014]

Finding out you were adopted is difficult information to deal with even under the best of circumstances.

But you’re painting with some very broad strokes here….

What be is your overall point your trying to make? Are you anti-adoption?

Thank you for your question.
I am adopted a therapist and an independent researcher. The excerpt from my paper Parenting the Adopted Child is not broad at all it is based on valid research. Ill give you the citations.

It uses research to validate Nancy Verriers Primal Wound. Premature maternal separation creates a preverbal trauma in the infant. That trauma is the reason adoptees are in mental health treatment 4 times more than others. You can read David Brodzinski on that. What I published is the actual neuropsychology of adoption related trauma. The good news is we can resolve it but most therapists have no idea how. It wont respond to PTSD interventions or talk therapy. I have created intervetions that can resolve preverbal trauma and applied successfully for 8 years in private practice

Gaensbauer, T. (2002). Representations of trauma in infancy: Clinical and theoretical

implications. 23(3), 259-277. doi:10.1002/imhj.10020.

Lierberman, & Pawl, (1988). Clinical applications of attachment theory. In J. Belsky & T.

Heres a link to all my published papers

Robert Hafetz - Profile on Academia.edu

Robert Allan Hafetz was born January 28, 1951, in the Door of Hope Salvation Army Booth Home, in Jersey City, New Jersey. A late in life graduate of Temple…

independent.academia.edu

 

[SweetSue92]

Further complicating the adoptive family system is a memory process that is common among adoptees but little known by therapists, social workers, parents, and the adoptees themselves. There is a disconnection in adoptees between their emotions and their ability to identify them. This is the core issue in adoption and it is the foundation of most of the problems that occur in adoptive parenting.

Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).

An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.

I don't disagree, but in many cases, mothers KNOW they cannot properly care for a child. So although the child may take on some trauma from being adopted, I would make the argument that the trauma from being raised when you're not wanted is much, much worse. Add a single parent household, poverty, maybe even substance abuse--everything compounds.

 

[SweetSue92]

Thank you for your question.
I am adopted a therapist and an independent researcher. The excerpt from my paper Parenting the Adopted Child is not broad at all it is based on valid research. Ill give you the citations.

It uses research to validate Nancy Verriers Primal Wound. Premature maternal separation creates a preverbal trauma in the infant. That trauma is the reason adoptees are in mental health treatment 4 times more than others. You can read David Brodzinski on that. What I published is the actual neuropsychology of adoption related trauma. The good news is we can resolve it but most therapists have no idea how. It wont respond to PTSD interventions or talk therapy. I have created intervetions that can resolve preverbal trauma and applied successfully for 8 years in private practice

Gaensbauer, T. (2002). Representations of trauma in infancy: Clinical and theoretical

implications. 23(3), 259-277. doi:10.1002/imhj.10020.

Lierberman, & Pawl, (1988). Clinical applications of attachment theory. In J. Belsky & T.

Heres a link to all my published papers

Robert Hafetz - Profile on Academia.edu

Robert Allan Hafetz was born January 28, 1951, in the Door of Hope Salvation Army Booth Home, in Jersey City, New Jersey. A late in life graduate of Temple…

independent.academia.edu

Is the mental hospital stat because adoption causes that much trauma OR because mothers who give up their babies are more inclined to make poor choices: that is, in most cases, they engaged in an act that could well produce an outcome they did not want. Does this happen to mentally stable people, of course. Does it happen more often to mentally unstable people? Yes, of course. I really think a lot of these mental health issues are genetic.

 

[Hafar1014]

Is the mental hospital stat because adoption causes that much trauma OR because mothers who give up their babies are more inclined to make poor choices: that is, in most cases, they engaged in an act that could well produce an outcome they did not want. Does this happen to mentally stable people, of course. Does it happen more often to mentally unstable people? Yes, of course. I really think a lot of these mental health issues are genetic.

Its seeking therapy not hospitalization. The emotional disturbances are related to the preverbal trauma caused by premature maternal separation. Brodzinski described it as manifesting at age 5-7. Thats been my experience as well. Trauma in the context of attachment makes secure attachment difficult sometimes impossible. Love creates an anxiety response and adoptees expect to be abandoned again since thats their first experience with love. They are not cognitively aware. This is a nonverbal emotional response. We can resolve this if parents understand trauma informed parenting which is counterintuitive. Ill post a link

Parenting the adopted Child

There can be no more difficult a task in classic parenting than raising an adopted child. Unlike a child one has given birth to an adopted child comes with additional trepidations that few parents are prepared for or even aware of. An adopted child

www.academia.edu

Most mental health problems are caused by experiences during development not genes.

 

[Hafar1014]

I don't disagree, but in many cases, mothers KNOW they cannot properly care for a child. So although the child may take on some trauma from being adopted, I would make the argument that the trauma from being raised when you're not wanted is much, much worse. Add a single parent household, poverty, maybe even substance abuse--everything compounds.

The trauma is caused by the separation. Adoptees feel they are not wanted because they have memory of being abandoned. It makes no difference what the intent of the birth mother is.
Not being wanted in a biological family creates developmental trauma with similar results.
Abandonment in adoption is different and we cant say one is worse than the other because children have different levels of resiliency.
IN the adoption case it takes 6 months before an infant is aware its separate form the mother. This is called individuation, see M. Mawhler, Annie Bergman, Fred Pine. The baby lives as part of the mothers mind in effect one person. When separated the infant loses a pert of itself literally. Thats why adoptees often say they have hole in their hearts that cant be filled

 

[Unkotare]

Finding out you were adopted is difficult information to deal with even under the best of circumstances.

But you’re painting with some very broad strokes here….

What be is your overall point your trying to make? Are you anti-adoption?

Since this is at least his third exact same thread, clearly he is.

 

[Unkotare]

Oh great, another nutjob obsessed with a single issue. Get ready for 20+ more threads on the exact same topic.

 

[Hafar1014]

Since this is at least his third exact same thread, clearly he is.

I am not anti adoption. The process needs a lot of reform.

 

[Hafar1014]

Further complicating the adoptive family system is a memory process that is common among adoptees but little known by therapists, social workers, parents, and the adoptees themselves. There is a disconnection in adoptees between their emotions and their ability to identify them. This is the core issue in adoption and it is the foundation of most of the problems that occur in adoptive parenting.

Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).

An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.

References

Gaensbauer, T. (2002). Representations of trauma in infancy: Clinical and theoretical

implications. 23(3), 259-277. doi:10.1002/imhj.10020.

Lierberman, & Pawl, (1988). Clinical applications of attachment theory. In J. Belsky & T.

Nezworski, (Eds.), Clinical implications of attachment ( 327-351). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Richardson, R. & Hayne H. (2007). You Can't Take It With You: The translation of memory

across development. Current directions in, psychological science, 16, 223 - 227.

Schore, A.N. (2001). The effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development,

affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant mental mental health journal, 22, 7-66.

Simcock, G., Hayne, H. (2002). Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language.

American Psychological Society 13(3), 225-231.

 

[Unkotare]

I am not anti adoption. ...

Yes you are.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

What about surrogacy where the birth mother has no genetic tie to the child and there is no "adoption" but the mother was never the birth mother?

 

[Hafar1014]

What about surrogacy where the birth mother has no genetic tie to the child and there is no "adoption" but the mother was never the birth mother?

The mother still carries the fetus. She is the birth mother. She will give birth. Then she gives the baby to the couple. The whole point is adoption.

They share the same existence for 9 months. At the time of birth both are flooded with oxytocin a bonding hormone. Genes dont define the bond experiences and hormones do.
An infant can tell the difference between its mother and other females, by touch smell and heartbeat.

Do you mean a donor sperm. For example lesbians can be inseminated to raise a baby. Then there is no separation trauma.

 

[Unkotare]

China Develops First-Ever Pregnancy Robot—Could It Replace Human Surrogates?

China is developing the world’s first pregnancy robot with an artificial womb, designed to carry a baby from conception to birth.

nurse.org

 

[EvilCat Breath]

The mother still carries the fetus. She is the birth mother. She will give birth. Then she gives the baby to the couple. The whole point is adoption.

They share the same existence for 9 months. At the time of birth both are flooded with oxytocin a bonding hormone. Genes dont define the bond experiences and hormones do.
An infant can tell the difference between its mother and other females, by touch smell and heartbeat.

Do you mean a donor sperm. For example lesbians can be inseminated to raise a baby. Then there is no separation trauma.

In a surrogacy, there is no adoption. The birth mother is simply hired for this transaction. Gads! Being tracked down by a surrogate child has got to be a nightmare. There isn't even the tepid excuse of having health questions.