Some still believe in the blank slate tabula rasa concept when an infant is born. This has been a serious error in the case of adoptions. It was believed that the baby wont have any memory of the loss of the birth mother.
Infants are born with a functioning Limbic System which creates memory and emotion. There is no prefrontal cortex which is explicit thought.
Taken from Robert Hafetz Parenting the adopted child
Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).
An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Enlightened parents can create a nurturing healing environment within the family if they are aware of this process and are proficient in how to deal with it. The knowledge needed to raise an adopted child is not readily available and few effective parenting programs can be found. The foundation of healing attachment related resistance is to create experiences of secure attachment when the child is experiencing attachment anxiety or acting out in challenging behaviors.
References
Gaensbauer, T. (2002). Representations of trauma in infancy: Clinical and theoretical
implications. 23(3), 259-277. doi:10.1002/imhj.10020.
Lierberman, & Pawl, (1988). Clinical applications of attachment theory. In J. Belsky & T.
Nezworski, (Eds.), Clinical implications of attachment ( 327-351). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Richardson, R. & Hayne H. (2007). You Can't Take It With You: The translation of memory
across development. Current directions in, psychological science, 16, 223 - 227.
Schore, A.N. (2001). The effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development,
affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant mental mental health journal, 22, 7-66.
Simcock, G., Hayne, H. (2002). Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language.
American Psychological Society 13(3), 225-231.