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A personal note

BackAgain

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Lately, I am having very pronounced feelings of mortality. This is probably not some age-related sign of psychological problems. I’m not feeling morbid or “dangerously” depressed. Not feeling at all suicidal. But in the past few years I have had significant health related issues.

A few years back, a “silent” (?) heart attack was revealed during an EKG after a particularly bad day led to a trip to the ER. I’ve had high BP for a while and have fought many years worth of chronic pain. Made me too sedentary I think. = Weight gain. (My weight and my hi BP could be related.)

Then, more recently I got cancer. I got a late diagnosis, too. I got operated on and the got radiation zaps for the full course. (I think the zaps did a number on my system.) Not complaining about that, to be truthful. Just noting it. I’m always feeling pretty exhausted these days.

The good news is that it all worked. I am cancer-free. The time since then has involved some changes in my life; and I’m still in chronic pain and not getting any younger. (I think I left “middle age” behind. Spoiler alert: It turns out that youth IS wasted on the young.)

So far, I escaped COVID. But I did get the vax shots and the booster. Now, I’m feeling much more constantly aware of my ticker. I do have some depression now, too, although I think I’m keeping it in check. BUT all of this (combined) has me feeling like my clock is winding down.

I don’t dwell on death. But thoughts about it do infest more of my waking hours than they ever used to. And it has even crept into my dreams. So, now I’m wondering:

Who here believe that our minds tell us things about what’s going on with our health and with our very life? I’m not talking about “premonitions.” I’m more curious about a mind/body connection that (maybe?) serves to prepare us for the inevitable?

Or, am I just being morbid?
 

White 6

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Lately, I am having very pronounced feelings of mortality. This is probably not some age-related sign of psychological problems. I’m not feeling morbid or “dangerously” depressed. Not feeling at all suicidal. But in the past few years I have had significant health related issues.

A few years back, a “silent” (?) heart attack was revealed during an EKG after a particularly bad day led to a trip to the ER. I’ve had high BP for a while and have fought many years worth of chronic pain. Made me too sedentary I think. = Weight gain. (My weight and my hi BP could be related.)

Then, more recently I got cancer. I got a late diagnosis, too. I got operated on and the got radiation zaps for the full course. (I think the zaps did a number on my system.) Not complaining about that, to be truthful. Just noting it. I’m always feeling pretty exhausted these days.

The good news is that it all worked. I am cancer-free. The time since then has involved some changes in my life; and I’m still in chronic pain and not getting any younger. (I think I left “middle age” behind. Spoiler alert: It turns out that youth IS wasted on the young.)

So far, I escaped COVID. But I did get the vax shots and the booster. Now, I’m feeling much more constantly aware of my ticker. I do have some depression now, too, although I think I’m keeping it in check. BUT all of this (combined) has me feeling like my clock is winding down.

I don’t dwell on death. But thoughts about it do infest more of my waking hours than they ever used to. And it has even crept into my dreams. So, now I’m wondering:

Who here believe that our minds tell us things about what’s going on with our health and with our very life? I’m not talking about “premonitions.” I’m more curious about a mind/body connection that (maybe?) serves to prepare us for the inevitable?

Or, am I just being morbid?
Yeah, kinda morbid. It is the middle of winter and the temp and angle of light aren't going up yet. Hang in there. Be your own self-abuse director. Eat the pain and force yourself to heavier exertion, incrementally, outside in what sh#tty sunlight there is when possible, and look forward to spring. Best of luck to ya, dude.
 
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BackAgain

BackAgain

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Yeah, kinda morbid. It is the middle of winter and the temp and angle of light aren't going up yet. Hang in there. Be your own self-abuse director. Eat the pain and force yourself to heavier exertion, incrementally, outside in what sh#tty sunlight there is when possible, and look forward to spring. Best of luck to ya, dude.
Appreciate that bit of motivation. I am trying. But I am also decidedly non-energetic. I basically argue with myself to get the fuck out of bed in the morning. Truth. Yogi Bear could “sleep ‘til noon.” Me too.
 

White 6

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Appreciate that bit of motivation. I am trying. But I am also decidedly non-energetic. I basically argue with myself to get the fuck out of bed in the morning. Truth. Yogi Bear could “sleep ‘til noon.” Me too.
Yeah, but you can't. You either got crap to do or gotta make up crap to do and just do it as physical therapy and yes, therapy sucks too, but it is the way forward after any severe injury or illness.
 
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BackAgain

BackAgain

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Yeah, but you can't. You either got crap to do or gotta make up crap to do and just do it as physical therapy and yes, therapy sucks too, but it is the way forward after any severe injury or illness.
Again. Good advice. And I’m trying. And I’ll keep trying. (Natural laziness isn’t helping.)
 

Concerned American

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Appreciate that bit of motivation. I am trying. But I am also decidedly non-energetic. I basically argue with myself to get the fuck out of bed in the morning. Truth. Yogi Bear could “sleep ‘til noon.” Me too.
I can relate. I have the problem of getting out of bed myself--reading til noon. I have noticed that my body has been undergoing some changes as well--mostly sedentary lifestyle affiliated. As for the hints your body is giving you--nobody has more insight to what it is telling you but you. I agree with White6--force yourself to get up at a reasonable time--get out and go for a walk or find some activity--start slow and build from there. LOL, I think I'll follow my own advice starting----tomorrow. Good Luck.
 

MarathonMike

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Again. Good advice. And I’m trying. And I’ll keep trying. (Natural laziness isn’t helping.)
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stuff. Maybe look at it this way. Every day you get is a gift. It sounds corny but it's true. The vast majority of people who have lived on this Earth are dead. We are the small group still hopping around on the sunny side. Make the most of every day.
 

Damaged Eagle

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1644908659834.png


?????

Best of luck with your troubles.

*****SMILE*****


:)
 

Pete7469

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It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stuff. Maybe look at it this way. Every day you get is a gift. It sounds corny but it's true. The vast majority of people who have lived on this Earth are dead. We are the small group still hopping around on the sunny side. Make the most of every day.
That's pretty much what I had to say. No matter what you do, you've got limited time. Spend as much of it doing shit you like to do.
 

sparky

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Who here believe that our minds tell us things about what’s going on with our health and with our very life? I’m not talking about “premonitions.” I’m more curious about a mind/body connection


I'm a retired EMT

One of the simplest things i learned was to ask 'what's wrong'? (assuming A&OX3)
I'm convinced God gave us that 'little voice' (for lack of better term) That is fairly good at being self diagnostic

~S~
 

BlackSand

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Again. Good advice. And I’m trying. And I’ll keep trying. (Natural laziness isn’t helping.)
.

Many have already mentioned it ... Spend your time living or spend your time waiting to die.

When getting back to living, there is a threshold you have to get over and it sucks until you do.
There are thousands of places and things to help with motivation, information, and access to a healthier lifestyle.

Find something you think you can do and want to do.
Go in slow, ramp it up ... And understand that long-term results are not immediate.

You'll want to quit before you get back to where you need to be ... You have to get past that.

.
 
OP
BackAgain

BackAgain

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That would only be unusual if you were in fact immortal.

Something you want to tell us?
Uhm. Not that I can think of. And perhaps I wasn’t clear. I’m not opposed to mortality. It is just that, of late, I am feeling it crowding in a bit. Like, “back the fuck up. Personal space! Boundaries!” Also, “if that’s not a scythe, sir, then we’re going to have other issues.”
 
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BackAgain

BackAgain

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I can relate. I have the problem of getting out of bed myself--reading til noon. I have noticed that my body has been undergoing some changes as well--mostly sedentary lifestyle affiliated. As for the hints your body is giving you--nobody has more insight to what it is telling you but you. I agree with White6--force yourself to get up at a reasonable time--get out and go for a walk or find some activity--start slow and build from there. LOL, I think I'll follow my own advice starting----tomorrow. Good Luck.
Good. And I appreciate the confirmation. Maybe all it is amounts to having spooked myself.
 

Ringel05

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Lately, I am having very pronounced feelings of mortality. This is probably not some age-related sign of psychological problems. I’m not feeling morbid or “dangerously” depressed. Not feeling at all suicidal. But in the past few years I have had significant health related issues.

A few years back, a “silent” (?) heart attack was revealed during an EKG after a particularly bad day led to a trip to the ER. I’ve had high BP for a while and have fought many years worth of chronic pain. Made me too sedentary I think. = Weight gain. (My weight and my hi BP could be related.)

Then, more recently I got cancer. I got a late diagnosis, too. I got operated on and the got radiation zaps for the full course. (I think the zaps did a number on my system.) Not complaining about that, to be truthful. Just noting it. I’m always feeling pretty exhausted these days.

The good news is that it all worked. I am cancer-free. The time since then has involved some changes in my life; and I’m still in chronic pain and not getting any younger. (I think I left “middle age” behind. Spoiler alert: It turns out that youth IS wasted on the young.)

So far, I escaped COVID. But I did get the vax shots and the booster. Now, I’m feeling much more constantly aware of my ticker. I do have some depression now, too, although I think I’m keeping it in check. BUT all of this (combined) has me feeling like my clock is winding down.

I don’t dwell on death. But thoughts about it do infest more of my waking hours than they ever used to. And it has even crept into my dreams. So, now I’m wondering:

Who here believe that our minds tell us things about what’s going on with our health and with our very life? I’m not talking about “premonitions.” I’m more curious about a mind/body connection that (maybe?) serves to prepare us for the inevitable?

Or, am I just being morbid?
You're not alone, it's called getting old, a change we all know is coming yet don't want it to ever arrive............... :thup:
 

Ringel05

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Appreciate that bit of motivation. I am trying. But I am also decidedly non-energetic. I basically argue with myself to get the fuck out of bed in the morning. Truth. Yogi Bear could “sleep ‘til noon.” Me too.
It's called depression, I've just started getting help for mine. Thought I could deal with it myself but I was wrong, sometimes we need help.
 
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BackAgain

BackAgain

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It's called depression, I've just started getting help for mine. Thought I could deal with it myself but I was wrong, sometimes we need help.
I am curious about that. Signs of depression appear in most of us from time to time. Maybe it’s time to try some weed. (I like Scotch, but the whole “weight” thing is an impediment.)
 

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