Would eHarmony hooked you up with your spouse or significant other?

[PoliticalChic]

Not a chance, my husband's a stick in the mud and I have a bubbly personality. My best friend is also a bubbly person and her husband too is a stick in the mud. Hey, what can you do, we love them. They've been married two years longer than we have and we've been married 27 years.

Opposites attract. Do you guys have a lot in common? 27 years -- that's great. What's the secret?

 

[Againsheila]

Opposites attract. Do you guys have a lot in common? 27 years -- that's great. What's the secret?

I think the words I expressed to Mr Bass pretty much sum it up, "Get over it!"

We each realize that we aren't perfect so we work it out. We have the added burden/joy of two special needs children. Do you realize how high the divorce rate is amongst parents of autistic kids? I don't know the exact figure but I spoke to a woman that ran a school for autistic kids in Canada and of the nearly 200 students she had, not one of them came from a family where his/her parents were still together. I think it's because each parent was trying to blame the other parent for the child's disability. My husband and I have no idea where the autism our children have came from (though I highly suspect the vaccines, but that's another story) we just do our best to raise them together.

My doctor once told me how wonderful he thought my husband was because he was so concerned about me when he was working second shift and I was stuck with both kids. I just looked at him and said, "Of course, what, you think I'd marry a jerk?"

Neither my husband nor myself are the best in the looks department and my husband is shorter than me. My mother hated him when we first started going out, she called him homely and short. Then he painted a picture of my little brother for her and suddenly he could do no wrong. My husband is very talented, I don't have a talented bone in my body.

We care for each other though, that's the biggest thing. When he's had it with the kids, I take over and when I've had it, he takes over. It really does take two to raise kids, I have no idea how single parents manage and I really object to any person who purposely plans on being a single parent unless they are adopting a child that doesn't have ANY parents. Having one parent is better than no parents, but having two parents is the absolute best.

In truth, we have very little in common except our love for each other, our children and our families. Come to think of it, that's the important thing to have in common.

The two best pieces of advice I ever got before I got married are...

1. Never both be angry at the same time

2. Live on his salary, put yours in the bank. His pays the bills, yours pays for the extras. That's how we managed to buy a house, and thats how we've managed to get by when times were tough.

 

[editec]

Sexual attraction is not called chemistry for nothing, folks.

Hasn't it ever happened to you men, (not you boys, you're not really there yet) that you saw some great looking chic -- and by that I mean your ideal woman --and still there was nothing there that really goaded you into action?

Some something about the woman just didn't really turn you on?

Oh sure, you might have gone through the motions, but deep down inside you knew your heart wasn't really in it?

I suspect that it's even worse for women in that respect.

After all, they're the ones burdened with the kid if things work out, so I think Mother Nature just built right into their mateDAR some kind of early warning system which saves them the trouble of wasting their time on men that won't make that grade.

Love and lust reactions are anything but rational.

Thank GOD for that.

Mother nature has her own agenda and I suspect suvival of our species is on top of her list of things to care about.

 

[PoliticalChic]

I think the words I expressed to Mr Bass pretty much sum it up, "Get over it!"

We each realize that we aren't perfect so we work it out. We have the added burden/joy of two special needs children. Do you realize how high the divorce rate is amongst parents of autistic kids? I don't know the exact figure but I spoke to a woman that ran a school for autistic kids in Canada and of the nearly 200 students she had, not one of them came from a family where his/her parents were still together. I think it's because each parent was trying to blame the other parent for the child's disability. My husband and I have no idea where the autism our children have came from (though I highly suspect the vaccines, but that's another story) we just do our best to raise them together.

My doctor once told me how wonderful he thought my husband was because he was so concerned about me when he was working second shift and I was stuck with both kids. I just looked at him and said, "Of course, what, you think I'd marry a jerk?"

Neither my husband nor myself are the best in the looks department and my husband is shorter than me. My mother hated him when we first started going out, she called him homely and short. Then he painted a picture of my little brother for her and suddenly he could do no wrong. My husband is very talented, I don't have a talented bone in my body.

We care for each other though, that's the biggest thing. When he's had it with the kids, I take over and when I've had it, he takes over. It really does take two to raise kids, I have no idea how single parents manage and I really object to any person who purposely plans on being a single parent unless they are adopting a child that doesn't have ANY parents. Having one parent is better than no parents, but having two parents is the absolute best.

In truth, we have very little in common except our love for each other, our children and our families. Come to think of it, that's the important thing to have in common.

The two best pieces of advice I ever got before I got married are...

1. Never both be angry at the same time

2. Live on his salary, put yours in the bank. His pays the bills, yours pays for the extras. That's how we managed to buy a house, and thats how we've managed to get by when times were tough.

"Get over it" sounds like the title of a book on marriage. Wow, you truly can write a book because this is the advice couples need. You sound like a wonderful couple and a loving one. Your children were blessed with good parents.

So many times, I've wanted to "win" on an issue that was so silly that I would be embarrassed to discuss. But, I'm the reconcilator. I don't like to waste time staying angry. We always try to maintain a reservoir of good feeling.

I think the fact that your husband understands the "work" of raising kids and being a domestic goddess makes him very wise and endearing. Lots of women choose to work outside the home because they think it's easier. I've done both. I prefer to be my own boss.

I also think that too many couples are self-centered and immature. You need to be giving to be able to receive.

Having kids, have made our relationship stronger. We have the same worldview and we have very few arguments.

Honesty and communication are the two things that have helped us in our marriage. We've been married 15 years and our two beautiful kids help our marriage stay strong. We both have our idiocyncracies, but these are tolerated because we focus on the positive aspects of each other.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Sexual attraction is not called chemistry for nothing, folks.

Hasn't it ever happened to you men, (not you boys, you're not really there yet) that you saw some great looking chic -- and by that I mean your ideal woman --and still there was nothing there that really goaded you into action?

Some something about the woman just didn't really turn you on?

Oh sure, you might have gone through the motions, but deep down inside you knew your heart wasn't really in it?

I suspect that it's even worse for women in that respect.

After all, they're the ones burdened with the kid if things work out, so I think Mother Nature just built right into their mateDAR some kind of early warning system which saves them the trouble of wasting their time on men that won't make that grade.

Love and lust reactions are anything but rational.

Thank GOD for that.

Mother nature has her own agenda and I suspect suvival of our species is on top of her list of things to care about.

I know what you mean. It's that je ne ce quois. You don't know exactly what it is about that man or woman and you can't really describe it in words. It's that chemistry. I could try to describe it and write it down, but I don't think the computer would have turned up my husband.

And can you grow to love a person? If you didn't like the person, but just as a friend, can you find them attractive a year later because you know that person better?

I think it is possible because some people that I didn't find attractive at first suddenly got my attention when I realized how kind-hearted or intellectual they were.

 

[random3434]

I know what you mean. It's that je ne ce quois. You don't know exactly what it is about that man or woman and you can't really describe it in words. It's that chemistry. I could try to describe it and write it down, but I don't think the computer would have turned up my husband.

And can you grow to love a person? If you didn't like the person, but just as a friend, can you find them attractive a year later because you know that person better?

I think it is possible because some people that I didn't find attractive at first suddenly got my attention when I realized how kind-hearted or intellectual they were.

Yes, I believe the more you know and care for someone, the more attractive they become to you.

Just like a good looking person isn't going to last long on their looks only, unless they are in a shallow relationship too!


My biggest attraction to a man is a kind heart, an open mind, a fierce intelligence and a WONDERFUL sense of humor!

 

[Againsheila]

I know what you mean. It's that je ne ce quois. You don't know exactly what it is about that man or woman and you can't really describe it in words. It's that chemistry. I could try to describe it and write it down, but I don't think the computer would have turned up my husband.

And can you grow to love a person? If you didn't like the person, but just as a friend, can you find them attractive a year later because you know that person better?

I think it is possible because some people that I didn't find attractive at first suddenly got my attention when I realized how kind-hearted or intellectual they were.

I've no doubt you can grow to love someone. I also believe in love at first sight. It all depends on the people involved.

 

[editec]

I know what you mean. It's that je ne ce quois. You don't know exactly what it is about that man or woman and you can't really describe it in words. It's that chemistry. I could try to describe it and write it down, but I don't think the computer would have turned up my husband.

And can you grow to love a person? If you didn't like the person, but just as a friend, can you find them attractive a year later because you know that person better?

I think it is possible because some people that I didn't find attractive at first suddenly got my attention when I realized how kind-hearted or intellectual they were.

Did you find those people more physically attractive than you had originally?

Or were you just letting you foolish rational mind get in the way of your hormones which must be obeyed?

Have you ever noticed how much more likely people are to hook up when they've damped those higher order CRITICAL thinking skills with alcohol?

Now, some people would tell you that alcohol is bad because it losens your inhibitions and judgement. And that is certainly true.

Bit at least consider the possibility that when it comes to sex, the last fucking thing you need in charge is your superego telling you that that bad boy that's turning you on like radio is no damned good.

If he's no damned good then why is your body so attracted to him?

The rational mind is a tyrant, and when it comes to love and lust, it's damned fool, too.

Passion isn't schoolgirl foolishness, in my never humble opinion, it's destiny calling you.

It's not nice to fool mother nature, folks.

She's on a mission, and lust is her way of telling you what your marching orders are.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Did you find those people more physically attractive than you had originally?

Or were you just letting you foolish rational mind get in the way of your hormones which must be obeyed?

Have you ever noticed how much more likely people are to hook up when they've damped those higher order CRITICAL thinking skills with alcohol?

Now, some people would tell you that alcohol is bad because it losens your inhibitions and judgement. And that is certainly true.

Bit at least consider the possibility that when it comes to sex, the last fucking thing you need in charge is your superego telling you that that bad boy that's turning you on like radio is no damned good.

If he's no damned good then why is your body so attracted to him?

The rational mind is a tyrant, and when it comes to love and lust, it's damned fool, too.

Passion isn't schoolgirl foolishness, in my never humble opinion, it's destiny calling you.

It's not nice to fool mother nature, folks.

She's on a mission, and lust is her way of telling you what your marching orders are.

Your post brought back memories of my college years when I was way naughtier than nice!

Passion can be VERY dangerous and needs to be bridled with force by logic and morals. That's the difference between humans and animals!

One boy in college that I had a huge crush on (we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend) disappointed me. He seemed very caring and responsible at first and one day he cheated on his girlfriend with a friend of mine (now no longer my friend). One day he was like a knight in shining armor, the next day he seemed so common like the rest of the college boys.

Alcohol never swayed me. It made me look stupid, but didn't change my mind about people. Maybe it's different for different people?

I guess the cheating is a big deal to me. That says a lot about a person.

 

[Againsheila]

Your post brought back memories of my college years when I was way naughtier than nice!

Passion can be VERY dangerous and needs to be bridled with force by logic and morals. That's the difference between humans and animals!

One boy in college that I had a huge crush on (we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend) disappointed me. He seemed very caring and responsible at first and one day he cheated on his girlfriend with a friend of mine (now no longer my friend). One day he was like a knight in shining armor, the next day he seemed so common like the rest of the college boys.

Alcohol never swayed me. It made me look stupid, but didn't change my mind about people. Maybe it's different for different people?

I guess the cheating is a big deal to me. That says a lot about a person.

Amen to that. In spite of what Clinton's supporters say, I really don't think everyone commits adultery. In fact, most people I know remain faithful. I've always said, if he'll leave his wife for you, what makes you think he won't leave you for someone else? and of course, vise versa.

 

[Andrew2382]

It's not adultery if you dont get caught!

 

[PoliticalChic]

It's not adultery if you dont get caught!

Character is what you do when no one is looking. Honestly, wouldn't it weigh on your conscience?

 

[Andrew2382]

i being sarcastic

 

[PoliticalChic]

i being sarcastic

I didn't see that tongue being firmly planted in your cheek...

 

[GigiBowman]

I always thought if two people were attracted to each other at the same time it was a miracle......

it rarely happens.

 

[dilloduck]

Did you find those people more physically attractive than you had originally?

Or were you just letting you foolish rational mind get in the way of your hormones which must be obeyed?

Have you ever noticed how much more likely people are to hook up when they've damped those higher order CRITICAL thinking skills with alcohol?

Now, some people would tell you that alcohol is bad because it losens your inhibitions and judgement. And that is certainly true.

Bit at least consider the possibility that when it comes to sex, the last fucking thing you need in charge is your superego telling you that that bad boy that's turning you on like radio is no damned good.

If he's no damned good then why is your body so attracted to him?

The rational mind is a tyrant, and when it comes to love and lust, it's damned fool, too.

Passion isn't schoolgirl foolishness, in my never humble opinion, it's destiny calling you.

It's not nice to fool mother nature, folks.

She's on a mission, and lust is her way of telling you what your marching orders are.

I dated a woman who was smoking hot in my book but after 3 years she's was the ugliest person I ever met and her looks hadn't changed a bit.
I agree with ya--chemistry is a powerful force. The wrestling matches that our conscience has with our chemisty is amazing.

 

[Andrew2382]

Always remember this about smokin hot girls you see

The hottest girl in the world is another guys pain in the ass

 

[PoliticalChic]

I dated a woman who was smoking hot in my book but after 3 years she's was the ugliest person I ever met and her looks hadn't changed a bit.
I agree with ya--chemistry is a powerful force. The wrestling matches that our conscience has with our chemisty is amazing.

Can you point to the things that made you change your mind?

I know for me, how a man eats can turn me off. I don't mean his ettiquette has to be perfect. I love a man with a hearty appetite, but he should be using utensils when appropriate. He shouldn't speak with his mouth full and take the last shrimp on the plate. Something about table manners...

I love the fact that my husband never leaves his dirty socks on the floor...

 

[glockmail]

.....
What do you think? If each of you wrote a profile about yourself and listed what you wanted in a mate, do you think you would have been matched with your significant other or spouse?

Not if I had been honest on the profile. I "married up", no doubt. I hooked her with my rugged individualism, firm butt cheeks, and I drove her father insane.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Not if I had been honest on the profile. I "married up", no doubt. I hooked her with my rugged individualism, firm butt cheeks, and I drove her father insane.

You forgot to add your off-handed sense of humor.