Why don't we have a family/parenting forum?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by koshergrl, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. koshergrl

    koshergrl Diamond Member

    Aug 4, 2011
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    Someone asked a while back..I'd frequent it.

    Anyway, I have taken on the supervision/housing/education of my ex's 14 year old son (my younger kids' big brother). He has some significant behavior issues, and some significant academic issues (4th grade math level, who knows where his reading is..about the same, I think). I THINK these are primarily the result of being raised by an insane drunken asshole but at this point it's really hard to distinguish organic issues from behavioral ones, as such prolonged abuse/negative modeling can CAUSE organic issues...

    He clicks along fine until he doesn't get his way, then all hell breaks loose. I don't think he's malicious, though it certainly comes across that way. I think he has power issues just because he was raised by a psychotic where he was completely responsible for himself from a very young age...except when he was completely under the control of an abusive drunk...so he gets very upset when HE PERCEIVES someone isn't doing what they said they would do (and he's not too great at listening, so "perception" is a big part of it..what he perceives and reality are sometimes not on speaking terms).

    Today I got a call from his alternative school teacher who said his newest thing is laying down in the middle of the classroom and refusing to get up, and getting combative when she pursues it (he doesn't get combative with me, lol...and he has pulled this with me).

    Oh and he also was using a school computer to look at "disgusting" and inappropriate stuff on teh internet. I have no idea what because I got a message and haven't actually spoken to the teacher yet...we may have different ideas of what constitutes "disgusting" and I'm a little concerned that he could access such stuff from a school computer, but hmmm...anyway he's going to lose his school computer privileges at school...and most of the alternative ed classes are online.

    Batten down the hatches, it could be a long week, lol. He's losing his computer privilege at home, and that means he's going to be a complete ass in the evening. I'm just about ready to send him back to mom...I can't have every evening consumed with dealing with his ridiculous behavior. And it is ridiculous because it's all behavior that should have been dealt with when he was 4-8 years old. At this point, he's like a big, dumb, and kind of mean dog. He doesn't know how to act, and when he misbehaves everybody suffers. I don't mind, but I'm not ready to make the younger kids consistently miserable because he can't behave appropriately.

    So we'll see how it goes tonight. Personally, I think this is pretty small potatoes, ...like the death throes of bad behavior..but I'm eternally optimistic when it comes to miserable, bad acting, unhygienic (what is with not wanting to brush teeth????? ) boys. He didn't LEAVE the school, at least...we'll see, we'll see....

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