Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
The following parable is submitted to demonstrate how Democrats believe that every problem can be solved by spending more of our money. Even when they get their way, nothing ever changes. I am a creative type who thrives in abstracts. I feel that my writing conveys my thoughts in the best possible light. It is also kind of fun, like talking in code. Dems lack the intellectual ability to think in abstract. They are fucking stupid! So, they will read this, and then get nothing out of it. Just wait for the comments. Most likely they will focus on the literal fecal material which, in reality, is metaphor for their shitty policy initiatives.
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Last night I was sitting on the toilet wait for my bowels to move. I was reading a review of the Barbie movie on my phone when I was struck with a debilitating pain in my lower colon. It felt like a school of piranha was trying to eat their way out of me. Then, BOOM!! It ended just as fast as it began, punctuated with the loud and satisfying splash below. Ahhhh....
But then came a little voice. "Hey!! Get me out of this water!! Help! Help!" I was freaked out. I thought my poop was talking to me. I rose from my throne and looked into the bowl. It turns out that I did not have a BM after all. Instead, I gave birth ... to a Democrat!! I helped him out of the bowl. He told me his name is Randy and that he is a member of the FecalX tribe. Then, he flew down onto the floor and started skating around like he was figure skating, all the while leaving brown skid marks all over my floor.
I said, "Goddamn, stop it!! You are making a mess!" Randy said he can clean it up, but it will take some money. I gave him a tenner. He then took a little handkerchief out of his pocket and skated around each brown skin mark and cleaned it up. "WEE!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!!", cried Randy as he did his work. The little fella seemed to be having a good time.
However, now the mess was bigger than before. Every move of his was trailed by a brown turd line. I said, "Look Randy, I know you mean well, but now you have shit all over the floor!! He replied, "Oh, well, I can fix that too! I just need to hold another tenner!" I figured that I would give him another chance, so I gave him another $10. He took the money from me and exclaimed "OH BOY!!!!!" Then he whipped out his gargantuan member, which was much larger than you would expect for a little fella his size, and started pissing all the shit stains away. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HAHAHAHAH!!", cried out Randy in glee.
Now there was a shit-piss sludge covering my bathroom floor. A clearly pleased Randy skated up to me and eagerly asked, "How's that?" I paused and then asked, "Are you fucking serious?" Every time I give you money to fix one of YOUR messes, you just fuck it up worse." Little Randy looked around the room then said it did not look too bad to him. "I get it. You are gaslighting me!!", said Randy. Then he offered, again, to fix his mess, provided I give him more money.
I told Randy to go fuck himself. "I am not about to give you more money just to fuck things up worse." He replied, "Uh oh! That is not very nice. If you don't give me more money then I will REALLY fuck up your home!" I did not like the dark tone this had taken. I quickly moved to squash him under my foot. But the shit on my floor was very slick, so I slipped and fell right into it with a splash and a thud. Divining my intent, Randy went bat-shit berserker and started flying around the room, painting the walls and the ceiling with peanut and corn infused shit. When he was done, I was in a bona fide shit-a-torium.
I wanted to die. "What a fucking shitstorm that was", I said to nobody. Then a little voice found its way into my shit filled ears. "I can fix this for you, if you let me hold a 10-spot", it said.
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How will the leftist shills respond to this? IDK. But, I do know that it will be stupid, pointless, and reflect the fact that they are fucking retarded!
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Last night I was sitting on the toilet wait for my bowels to move. I was reading a review of the Barbie movie on my phone when I was struck with a debilitating pain in my lower colon. It felt like a school of piranha was trying to eat their way out of me. Then, BOOM!! It ended just as fast as it began, punctuated with the loud and satisfying splash below. Ahhhh....
But then came a little voice. "Hey!! Get me out of this water!! Help! Help!" I was freaked out. I thought my poop was talking to me. I rose from my throne and looked into the bowl. It turns out that I did not have a BM after all. Instead, I gave birth ... to a Democrat!! I helped him out of the bowl. He told me his name is Randy and that he is a member of the FecalX tribe. Then, he flew down onto the floor and started skating around like he was figure skating, all the while leaving brown skid marks all over my floor.
I said, "Goddamn, stop it!! You are making a mess!" Randy said he can clean it up, but it will take some money. I gave him a tenner. He then took a little handkerchief out of his pocket and skated around each brown skin mark and cleaned it up. "WEE!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!!", cried Randy as he did his work. The little fella seemed to be having a good time.
However, now the mess was bigger than before. Every move of his was trailed by a brown turd line. I said, "Look Randy, I know you mean well, but now you have shit all over the floor!! He replied, "Oh, well, I can fix that too! I just need to hold another tenner!" I figured that I would give him another chance, so I gave him another $10. He took the money from me and exclaimed "OH BOY!!!!!" Then he whipped out his gargantuan member, which was much larger than you would expect for a little fella his size, and started pissing all the shit stains away. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HAHAHAHAH!!", cried out Randy in glee.
Now there was a shit-piss sludge covering my bathroom floor. A clearly pleased Randy skated up to me and eagerly asked, "How's that?" I paused and then asked, "Are you fucking serious?" Every time I give you money to fix one of YOUR messes, you just fuck it up worse." Little Randy looked around the room then said it did not look too bad to him. "I get it. You are gaslighting me!!", said Randy. Then he offered, again, to fix his mess, provided I give him more money.
I told Randy to go fuck himself. "I am not about to give you more money just to fuck things up worse." He replied, "Uh oh! That is not very nice. If you don't give me more money then I will REALLY fuck up your home!" I did not like the dark tone this had taken. I quickly moved to squash him under my foot. But the shit on my floor was very slick, so I slipped and fell right into it with a splash and a thud. Divining my intent, Randy went bat-shit berserker and started flying around the room, painting the walls and the ceiling with peanut and corn infused shit. When he was done, I was in a bona fide shit-a-torium.
I wanted to die. "What a fucking shitstorm that was", I said to nobody. Then a little voice found its way into my shit filled ears. "I can fix this for you, if you let me hold a 10-spot", it said.
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How will the leftist shills respond to this? IDK. But, I do know that it will be stupid, pointless, and reflect the fact that they are fucking retarded!
