We love you...but.

[Gracie]

Linda Robertson: Just Because He Breathes: Learning to Truly Love Our Gay Son

Very sad. But they used the BUT word a lot.

The commentaries below the piece are right on.

 

[boedicca]

This is heartbreaking.

I'm so grateful my parents didn't treat my lesbian sister that way.

I disagree with the comments that try to link this sad situation to all religion in general.

 

[Moonglow]

That is why I practice unconditional love with my kids and other people rejected by society.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I finally read this article. So sad. So unnecessary. They drove their child to his death.

Here's where they really went wrong:

Basically, we told our son that he had to choose between Jesus and his sexuality. We forced him to make a choice between God and being a sexual person.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. They thought they could speak for Jesus. They interfered in something that was between their son and Jesus and none of their business, really.

They sound like good people, but they made a fatal error. And this great wisdom they now possess, about loving your children just because they breathe, some people possess naturally, without religion and without driving their gay child to drugs and death. Some people just love that way without having to learn it through tragedy.

 

[Noomi]

Very tragic story. I wouldn't say the parents drove their son to his death - they did come to accept him, and for a time, it worked. They loved him, they understood that he couldn't change. The lad went back to his old friends, and went back on the drugs, and this is what killed him.

His parents were ignorant, but they are proof that you cannot change a persons sexuality, no matter how deeply religious they are.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Very tragic story. I wouldn't say the parents drove their son to his death - they did come to accept him, and for a time, it worked. They loved him, they understood that he couldn't change. The lad went back to his old friends, and went back on the drugs, and this is what killed him.

His parents were ignorant, but they are proof that you cannot change a persons sexuality, no matter how deeply religious they are.

Excuse me, Noomi, but in their own words:

We had unintentionally taught Ryan to hate his sexuality. And since sexuality cannot be separated from the self, we had taught Ryan to hate himself.

I still say they drove him to his death. Unintentionally, yes, but the result is still the same. He's dead.

He probably wouldn't have gotten into drugs to begin with if they had accepted him from the start like they learned to do later...when it was too late.

 

[Gracie]

That poor guy felt unloved and unwanted and was told even God would not love him. No wonder he turned to drugs and wound up dying.

It saddens me very much just how alone he felt.

 

[Natalie]

That poor guy felt unloved and unwanted and was told even God would not love him. No wonder he turned to drugs and wound up dying.

It saddens me very much just how alone he felt.

i read the story an its sad but dont we all feel unlove and unwanted sumtimes? i dont even know what to think about god and right there makes me prolly go to hell but even so i dont kill myself

so i think its sad what happen but at sum time we havto take responesibility for our own selfs to bad he did not do that

 

[Noomi]

Very tragic story. I wouldn't say the parents drove their son to his death - they did come to accept him, and for a time, it worked. They loved him, they understood that he couldn't change. The lad went back to his old friends, and went back on the drugs, and this is what killed him.

His parents were ignorant, but they are proof that you cannot change a persons sexuality, no matter how deeply religious they are.

Excuse me, Noomi, but in their own words:

We had unintentionally taught Ryan to hate his sexuality. And since sexuality cannot be separated from the self, we had taught Ryan to hate himself.

I still say they drove him to his death. Unintentionally, yes, but the result is still the same. He's dead.

He probably wouldn't have gotten into drugs to begin with if they had accepted him from the start like they learned to do later...when it was too late.

I respectfully disagree. Yes, their actions are what got him hooked on drugs, but once he was better, it was his choice to go back on the drugs. He wasn't affected by them at the time and therefore made a decision to take them again. He caused his own death.

You cannot blame the parents. They were ignorant, but they didn't make the choices he did.

 

[Connery]

The sins of the parents are visited upon the children. Our definition and understanding of "God" is the first and possibly the most lasting impression of God children may have. To tell a child that God rejects them is to tell them we as parents reject them.

The responsibility of being parent is tremendous and in this case tragic. They tried to manipulate the boy and it turned out wrong for all concerned.


This is not Love this is manipulation and cruelty>>>"We love you. We couldn't love you more. But there are other men who have faced this same struggle, and God has worked in them to change their desires."

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I honestly do not understand people who say they can speak for their god and that their god is full of hate for an individual or a group.

Noomi

... His parents were ignorant, but they are proof that you cannot change a persons sexuality, no matter how deeply religious they are.

I think this is key. First, we are all ignorant at some time or another in our lives. We don't have to stay ignorant. We have the choice to educate ourselves.

If they had made that choice, they would have learned that indeed, we cannot 'pray the gay away'.

The parents contributed to his death and now they have to live with that.

How many gay kids have to die before we stop this vicious witch hunt?

 

[whitehall]

Too bad the radical left doesn't love Down's Syndrome afflicted people. It's a shame that they continue to ridicule the mothers like Sara Palin who chose to give birth to disabled infants. It's so much easier to kill them in the birth canal. God help homosexuals when the abortion technology is advanced enough to determine the future sexual preference of the unborn.

 

[Katzndogz]

These parents are desperately trying to feel guilty over their son's death. It is not their fault. Taking drugs was his fault. Being gay was an excuse for what he really wanted to do which was get high. It's no use for parents to think if only they had been accepting enough, loved enough, it might have been different. It was never going to be any different. Straight boys kill themselves with drugs, gay boys kill themselves with drugs. Just like with Ryan, it starts with a little weed, and parents accept it, then they move on to something else. We don't know what terrible things Ryan did while on drugs. The article doesn't say. But his parents forgave him and loved him. They just couldn't possibly love him out of self destructive behavior.

From the description of Ryan's behavior, he was not merely "gay". Being gay might have been a manifestation of something much deeper and darker. When he got loved it didn't help. He was still destructive. It killed him. It happens to normal and gay alike. Was he really gay? Probably not. Being gay was just another means of self destruction. It was his reason, his excuse. There are some children that cannot be loved enough.

 

[Mad Scientist]

Gay is not the first thing I would want my two sons to be.

 

[TheOldSchool]

These parents are desperately trying to feel guilty over their son's death. It is not their fault. Taking drugs was his fault. Being gay was an excuse for what he really wanted to do which was get high. It's no use for parents to think if only they had been accepting enough, loved enough, it might have been different. It was never going to be any different. Straight boys kill themselves with drugs, gay boys kill themselves with drugs. Just like with Ryan, it starts with a little weed, and parents accept it, then they move on to something else. We don't know what terrible things Ryan did while on drugs. The article doesn't say. But his parents forgave him and loved him. They just couldn't possibly love him out of self destructive behavior.

From the description of Ryan's behavior, he was not merely "gay". Being gay might have been a manifestation of something much deeper and darker. When he got loved it didn't help. He was still destructive. It killed him. It happens to normal and gay alike. Was he really gay? Probably not. Being gay was just another means of self destruction. It was his reason, his excuse. There are some children that cannot be loved enough.

Lovely...

 

[Katzndogz]

That poor guy felt unloved and unwanted and was told even God would not love him. No wonder he turned to drugs and wound up dying.

It saddens me very much just how alone he felt.

He didn't feel alone. He had his druggie friends.

 

[Noomi]

That poor guy felt unloved and unwanted and was told even God would not love him. No wonder he turned to drugs and wound up dying.

It saddens me very much just how alone he felt.

He didn't feel alone. He had his druggie friends.

Why did he meet these people in the first place?

 

[Gracie]

Soulless.

 

[theword]

Our Creator is responsible for everything that happens in this world. His gay people were just another deception that came out of "Lucifer", which is God's planned deception (old covenant) to from a contrast in the minds of His people. This contrast (Godly thoughts without deception called the Truth and thoughts with deception called "Lucifer") was needed to connect with His servant in the flesh of the prophets and saints. Even though the prophets remained under the old covenant, He used them for His purpose to write prophecies about the future age. Then He used His saints to read the prophecies to add to the knowledge we are given to be a witness to God's eternal plan and testify to this knowledge without deception (Christ).

From this knowledge without deception, we learn that God created everything in this age to deceive His people so a gay person was created as a delusion, just like a religious person who worships false gods instead of our Creator. Only God's saints can obey His commandments because our flesh with it's false information in it is changed to stop our love of this world. So if one of God's saints were born gay or religious in this age, God stopped there sinful nature and made them obey Him. This means their flesh was no longer in the way to deceive them from being totally obedient to God.

One of God's commandments was, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor". This means that if a sinner (one who cannot obey God's commandments) judges another sinner, He is disobeying this commandment. So if I judge someone as being "gay", then I'm a sinner who can't obey God's commandment. It means I'm judging God's work.

A sinner who can't obey God does not know who God is. All Christians are sinners who worship false gods and judge God's work because they don't know who He is. Only we saints, who know Him, can obey all His commandments. This is because we are the Law where all commandments come from. We saints were born under the old covenant but after God removes our love for this world, we become the new covenant, which is knowledge without deception, also known as the Word, Christ, Kingdom of God, Heaven, Holy Spirit, the Elect, Saints, the Truth, Voice of God, etc.

When we are in this world as the flesh of a saint, we don't judge anyone because we know that God planned on saving all His people from their flesh as their flesh dies in this first age. We know that all gay people will be saved from their flesh that deceives them, just like all Christians who worship false idols will be destroyed so that their spirit will be freed from their false flesh.

If you judge a gay person, you're flesh is judged to death by God, also. So instead of exalting yourself above another sinner, it's best you don't judge anyone. It won't make any difference in your salvation but it will give you many more friendships in this age because no one will feel threatened by you. It's much easier making friends if you don't judge them.