Unusal weather patterns and upsurge in hurricanes blamed on republican

Discussion in 'Humor' started by liberal4now, Sep 12, 2004.

  1. liberal4now
    Online

    liberal4now Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Unusual Weather Patterns and Upsurge in Hurricanes Blamed on Republican


    (AP - WIRE SOURCES)
    09-12-04
    Terry Moran
    Staff Writer

    After accusations by internet bloggers and right wing talk shows that the recent spate of Hurricanes plaguing Caribbean islands and Florida were caused by former President William Jefferson Clinton's breathing patterns during certain sexual acts, the National Weather Service conducted studies to determine if these accusations were true. Initial funding for the project was pushed through by the Republican Congress who has since pulled funding.

    "We don't understand the results," said a Republican Congressman who asked to remain anonymous, "I'm sure if we continue to repeat the allegations for a few more weeks, the accusations will become fact. It worked in morphing Osama into Saddam, so we don't see why it won't work here."

    In the study it has been determined that the vast quantities of super-heated air over New York during the Republican Convention caused a sudden shift in atmospheric pressure to the point that .007% of the earth's atmosphere was sucked out of a swirling vortex directly over Madison Square Gardens in New York City. The lost atmosphere is believed to have been transferred to an alternate reality referred to as "Bizarro World." The major atmospheric anomalies are said to have occurred during a speech by Georgian Democrat, Zell Miller and again when Mr. Miller was courting additional press time with MSNBC host Chris Matthews.

    The announcements of Millers contributions to the anomaly has given hope to many Republicans in that they may now actually blame the unusual hurricane season on the Democrats and are now referring to Zell Miller as a vast Left Wing plot to discredit Republicans.

    Donald Rumsfeld, in an off air interview states that he has proof that the conspiracy is headed by Hillary Clinton who, in conjunction with the fake bypass surgery her husband recently undertook is all aimed at drawing attention away from the real topics of the race for the Presidency which is the fact that John Kerry was fighting with the VC in 1972 and was responsible for the death of Abraham Lincoln.
     
  2. Annie
    Offline

    Annie Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    50,847
    Thanks Received:
    4,644
    Trophy Points:
    1,790
    Ratings:
    +4,770
    Stolen avatar aside, this does not belong in political forum, not sure about humor, but I guess I'll leave it there.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  3. MtnBiker
    Offline

    MtnBiker Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2003
    Messages:
    4,327
    Thanks Received:
    230
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Rocky Mountains
    Ratings:
    +230
    I already moved it.

    And a link to the article should be provided as well.
     
  4. MtnBiker
    Offline

    MtnBiker Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2003
    Messages:
    4,327
    Thanks Received:
    230
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Rocky Mountains
    Ratings:
    +230
    :link: :link:
     
  5. Annie
    Offline

    Annie Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    50,847
    Thanks Received:
    4,644
    Trophy Points:
    1,790
    Ratings:
    +4,770
    If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to make our friend fess up to using a real reporters name on a bogus 'humorous' column. Not that I buy that Terry Moran is a real reporter, mind you! :beer:
     
  6. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    Almost as funny as Terry Mcauliffe suggesting that Karl Rove planted the phony National Guard memo.

    Actually, that piece was just pathetic, it was simply an immature compendium of lame attempts at humor which just didn't work. That little bit of illogic was poorly written, unorganized, illogical, unfounded, unsupported, childish and without any apparent purpose or direction.

    Good satire takes a kernel of truth and embellishes it to suit the author's purpose. Maybe you'll figure that out when you grow up.

    Junior, if you want to get any applause with crap like that, I'd suggest you try the Yahoo boards. There are enough glue sniffers there who would appreciate any bit of stupidity as long as it bashes Republicans.
     
  7. Jimmyeatworld
    Offline

    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    2,239
    Thanks Received:
    223
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Location:
    America
    Ratings:
    +223
    I bet Dan Rather leads the news with this tomorrow. :funnyface
     
  8. Annie
    Offline

    Annie Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    50,847
    Thanks Received:
    4,644
    Trophy Points:
    1,790
    Ratings:
    +4,770
    Oh my! Just saw all those nasty red boxes! I guess you should be careful whom you try to 'bad rep!' :p:
     
  9. Avatar4321
    Offline

    Avatar4321 Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2004
    Messages:
    70,537
    Thanks Received:
    8,161
    Trophy Points:
    2,070
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Ratings:
    +12,152
    speaking of which how on earth did he get repped that bad so fast?
     
  10. Jackass
    Offline

    Jackass Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2003
    Messages:
    1,969
    Thanks Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Va
    Ratings:
    +14
    Is that even real?!?!?!
     

Share This Page