The War on Soccer

Discussion in 'Sports' started by DGS49, Jul 13, 2019.

  1. DGS49
    Offline

    DGS49 Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2012
    Messages:
    7,426
    Thanks Received:
    1,630
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Ratings:
    +7,253
    Ann Coulter has publicly declared a War on Soccer. Although I don't know the particulars, the more I think about it the more sense it makes to me.

    Soccer is a dumb game. It abhors the use of man's most useful appendages - the arms and hands. Preposterous. It is popular in places where they don't have many Real Sports, and it has the advantage of requiring no equipment. Only a ball and something that can be used as a goal.

    It is in the limelight these days because in a much-ignored recent international competition, the team of women theoretically representing the United States of America (but mainly their own narcisissistic selves) defeated a group of teams from other countries where womens' soccer ("football") is even more irrelevant than it is in the U.S. And rather than prostrate themselves in appreciation for the recognition they get for their pathetic victory ,they thumb their figurative noses at both the President and the country itself. Ungrateful [vulgar word for vaginas]. And the captain of this unfortunate group of misfits spouts her thoughts on issues large and small AS THOUGH SOMEONE ACTUALLY WOULD GIVE A SHIT.

    So I am down with the War on Soccer. Here in this Forum I firmly pledge NEVER to watch another "soccer" game for the rest of my natural life. Not in person, not on teevee, not even a fictional game of "soccer" in a movie or television show. And I will encourage everyone I know to take a similar pledge because soccer is shit. It is a total waste of time. One could watch ALL of the highlights of an entire typical MENS worldcup competition during the time it takes to execute a normal bowel movement.

    And don't tell me that my antipathy toward the game is based on ignorance. "If you only UNDERSTOOD the game..." Bullshit. It's a dumb game that fulfills the single purpose in the United States of providing a competitive sport for boys who can't play football (or whose parents won't let them).

    Down with soccer. At least it doesn't have far to go to reach rock bottom.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  2. Sunni Man
    Offline

    Sunni Man Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2008
    Messages:
    50,879
    Thanks Received:
    8,052
    Trophy Points:
    2,060
    Location:
    Patriotic American Muslim
    Ratings:
    +34,801
    I tried watching soccer one time.

    It's 3 minutes of action packed into 90 minutes of mind numbing boredom. ... :cool:
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  3. Frankeneinstein
    Offline

    Frankeneinstein Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2016
    Messages:
    6,431
    Thanks Received:
    666
    Trophy Points:
    265
    Ratings:
    +4,228
    I've been saying this since I was a kid...it shows why we should not be like the rest of the world, what kind of mundane life must you lead to wanna watch this game?...
    ...at least defund the mens portion of it in this country...if the women want to keep it for goodness sakes let them.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019
  4. idb
    Offline

    idb Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2010
    Messages:
    13,190
    Thanks Received:
    1,379
    Trophy Points:
    265
    Location:
    Arrowtown, New Zealand
    Ratings:
    +4,389
    Wait until you discover cricket...
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. DGS49
    Offline

    DGS49 Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2012
    Messages:
    7,426
    Thanks Received:
    1,630
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Ratings:
    +7,253
    I have come to believe (with no corroborating evidence at all) that "cricket", like baseball, can be interesting if you get to know it. And also cricket afficionados confine it to countries where it is played and appreciated. So no American is forced to watch it, even at a glance on television. So I give cricket a pass. I don't even know enough about it to think it's stupid.
     
  6. Sunni Man
    Offline

    Sunni Man Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2008
    Messages:
    50,879
    Thanks Received:
    8,052
    Trophy Points:
    2,060
    Location:
    Patriotic American Muslim
    Ratings:
    +34,801
    Years ago one of my coworkers was from England.

    I asked him if he could tell me about the game of Cricket?

    He responded in his clipped British accent, "I could explain it to you for 3 days, and you would be none the wiser". ... :lol:
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. idb
    Offline

    idb Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2010
    Messages:
    13,190
    Thanks Received:
    1,379
    Trophy Points:
    265
    Location:
    Arrowtown, New Zealand
    Ratings:
    +4,389
    It's a fantastic game.
    The final of the Cricket World Cup is on in seven hours in fact.
    It isn't the real five day cricket but the one-day version can be brilliantly exciting.
     
  8. DGS49
    Offline

    DGS49 Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2012
    Messages:
    7,426
    Thanks Received:
    1,630
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Ratings:
    +7,253
    England won, eh? Hear, hear!
     
  9. idb
    Offline

    idb Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2010
    Messages:
    13,190
    Thanks Received:
    1,379
    Trophy Points:
    265
    Location:
    Arrowtown, New Zealand
    Ratings:
    +4,389
    Yep, it was a draw, then the special playoff period (one extra over per team) was also a draw so the rules gave it to the team that scored the most boundaries during the match - England.
    It was a stunning game.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. Papageorgio
    Offline

    Papageorgio The Ultimate Winner

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    41,763
    Thanks Received:
    6,160
    Trophy Points:
    1,870
    Location:
    PNW
    Ratings:
    +21,581
    Draws, ties to me are a waste of time.

    “Did you go see the game?”

    “Sure did, Over two hours long.”

    “Who won?”

    “No one.”

    Just pointless.
     

Share This Page