Ann Coulter has publicly declared a War on Soccer. Although I don't know the particulars, the more I think about it the more sense it makes to me. Soccer is a dumb game. It abhors the use of man's most useful appendages - the arms and hands. Preposterous. It is popular in places where they don't have many Real Sports, and it has the advantage of requiring no equipment. Only a ball and something that can be used as a goal. It is in the limelight these days because in a much-ignored recent international competition, the team of women theoretically representing the United States of America (but mainly their own narcisissistic selves) defeated a group of teams from other countries where womens' soccer ("football") is even more irrelevant than it is in the U.S. And rather than prostrate themselves in appreciation for the recognition they get for their pathetic victory ,they thumb their figurative noses at both the President and the country itself. Ungrateful [vulgar word for vaginas]. And the captain of this unfortunate group of misfits spouts her thoughts on issues large and small AS THOUGH SOMEONE ACTUALLY WOULD GIVE A SHIT. So I am down with the War on Soccer. Here in this Forum I firmly pledge NEVER to watch another "soccer" game for the rest of my natural life. Not in person, not on teevee, not even a fictional game of "soccer" in a movie or television show. And I will encourage everyone I know to take a similar pledge because soccer is shit. It is a total waste of time. One could watch ALL of the highlights of an entire typical MENS worldcup competition during the time it takes to execute a normal bowel movement. And don't tell me that my antipathy toward the game is based on ignorance. "If you only UNDERSTOOD the game..." Bullshit. It's a dumb game that fulfills the single purpose in the United States of providing a competitive sport for boys who can't play football (or whose parents won't let them). Down with soccer. At least it doesn't have far to go to reach rock bottom.