excalibur
Diamond Member
- Mar 19, 2015
- 18,149
- 34,371
- 2,290
Seriously. These people killing over food. No wonder that inner cities are hellholes.
Or Barack Obama saying, If I had a son, he'd look like ...
Yeah, things have gotten worse since Ăbama was immaculated aka the worst thing to happen to America since the real Civil War.
The Civil War pitted brother against brother. And Americaâs ongoing conflict between black customers and fast-food workers over food temperature (the Sizzle War) pits brutha against brutha. But last week the war took an even more tragic turn, pitting worker against worker and customer against customer.
First to New Orleans, where Applebeeâs server Boderrick Donya Ford (which sounds like an Irishman cursing out his car) complained that the cooks were taking too long on the chicken. When the cooks lifted their shirts to reveal the bullet wounds theyâd received for serving food that wasnât hot enough, Ford told one of the cooks that sheâd âpop himâ after work.
In a city where the majority population wants its food cooked both super fast and piping hot, and the penalty for failing at either is death, cooks should get frontline pay.
True to her word, Boderrick waited for the cook after work and ran him over with her car.
Boderrick dunya with her Ford.
Meanwhile, in Chicago, Carlisha Hood entered a hot dog joint as her teenage son stayed in the car. Apparently, Hood was taking way too long to order, so the traffic light inventor behind her saw red. He asked her to hurry up. Which prompted a flood of âoh no you dihântâ from Hood, which prompted Snoop Hotdog to yell, âJust git yo food! Git yo food! You say one more thing Iâm gonâ knock you out.â
Hood continued yammering, but Adam Clayton POWell had good follow-through. With his fist.
Talk about blood sausage.
Naturally, the bystanders immediately restrained him. Oh wait, no. They laughed and let loose with âoh no he dihânt!â But Hoodâs son was no bystander. He ran inside and fatally shot the attacker three times in the back.
And Chicago Polacks lowered their heads in mourning for a city where, once upon a time, ordering a kielbasa didnât lead to violent death.
BLACKENED CATFISH
Thereâs no consensus regarding how many people live in Newbern, Alabama. Some sites say 275. Wikipedia said 133, but a day later it was reduced to 131.
What everybody agrees on is that the townâs 85 percent black.
So why the inability to do the math on a population that small?
Perhaps thatâs what happens when youâve beaten all your Asians to death.
In fact, the reason for the rapidly decreasing count is that blacks are fleeing Newbern because thereâs no fast food. Thereâs one general store, which goes out of its way to not sell âblack productsâ (if the storeâs name isnât Whiteman Mayo, it should be). So black residents are forced to eat catfish from local creeks.
Newbern recently made headlines when, for the first time in its history, a black man was elected mayor, having campaigned on a platform of bringing cheap food to Newbern so black residents can have something to shoot workers over (ever shot a catfish? Itâs not satisfying at all. They donât even wear weaves you can pull off in a fistfight). Unfortunately, even though the black gentleman, Patrick Braxton, won the election, the all-white town council refused to seat him.
Even without McDonaldâs, Newbern has a much higher violent-crime rate than the national average. Introduce fries into the equation? The population will dwindle like a Highlander movie until thereâs only one, ripping out her own weave and tossing herself over the counter for lack of a sparring partner.
Braxton has filed suit to be duly recognized as mayor.
An amicus brief has been filed by the catfish, who are sick and tired of getting punched for being too cold.
www.takimag.com
Or Barack Obama saying, If I had a son, he'd look like ...
Yeah, things have gotten worse since Ăbama was immaculated aka the worst thing to happen to America since the real Civil War.
The Civil War pitted brother against brother. And Americaâs ongoing conflict between black customers and fast-food workers over food temperature (the Sizzle War) pits brutha against brutha. But last week the war took an even more tragic turn, pitting worker against worker and customer against customer.
First to New Orleans, where Applebeeâs server Boderrick Donya Ford (which sounds like an Irishman cursing out his car) complained that the cooks were taking too long on the chicken. When the cooks lifted their shirts to reveal the bullet wounds theyâd received for serving food that wasnât hot enough, Ford told one of the cooks that sheâd âpop himâ after work.
In a city where the majority population wants its food cooked both super fast and piping hot, and the penalty for failing at either is death, cooks should get frontline pay.
True to her word, Boderrick waited for the cook after work and ran him over with her car.
Boderrick dunya with her Ford.
Meanwhile, in Chicago, Carlisha Hood entered a hot dog joint as her teenage son stayed in the car. Apparently, Hood was taking way too long to order, so the traffic light inventor behind her saw red. He asked her to hurry up. Which prompted a flood of âoh no you dihântâ from Hood, which prompted Snoop Hotdog to yell, âJust git yo food! Git yo food! You say one more thing Iâm gonâ knock you out.â
Hood continued yammering, but Adam Clayton POWell had good follow-through. With his fist.
Talk about blood sausage.
Naturally, the bystanders immediately restrained him. Oh wait, no. They laughed and let loose with âoh no he dihânt!â But Hoodâs son was no bystander. He ran inside and fatally shot the attacker three times in the back.
And Chicago Polacks lowered their heads in mourning for a city where, once upon a time, ordering a kielbasa didnât lead to violent death.
BLACKENED CATFISH
Thereâs no consensus regarding how many people live in Newbern, Alabama. Some sites say 275. Wikipedia said 133, but a day later it was reduced to 131.
What everybody agrees on is that the townâs 85 percent black.
So why the inability to do the math on a population that small?
Perhaps thatâs what happens when youâve beaten all your Asians to death.
In fact, the reason for the rapidly decreasing count is that blacks are fleeing Newbern because thereâs no fast food. Thereâs one general store, which goes out of its way to not sell âblack productsâ (if the storeâs name isnât Whiteman Mayo, it should be). So black residents are forced to eat catfish from local creeks.
Newbern recently made headlines when, for the first time in its history, a black man was elected mayor, having campaigned on a platform of bringing cheap food to Newbern so black residents can have something to shoot workers over (ever shot a catfish? Itâs not satisfying at all. They donât even wear weaves you can pull off in a fistfight). Unfortunately, even though the black gentleman, Patrick Braxton, won the election, the all-white town council refused to seat him.
Even without McDonaldâs, Newbern has a much higher violent-crime rate than the national average. Introduce fries into the equation? The population will dwindle like a Highlander movie until thereâs only one, ripping out her own weave and tossing herself over the counter for lack of a sparring partner.
Braxton has filed suit to be duly recognized as mayor.
An amicus brief has been filed by the catfish, who are sick and tired of getting punched for being too cold.
