The Leatherface Prank

[Abishai100]

A group of students at Yale University decide to take a freshman-initiate to a fraternity inclusion ritual (deep in the woods), which turns out to be a special 'psychology-crusade' --- my short-story (below).

Do films make us more optimistic or pessimistic about the *usefulness* of psychiatry? Would you think Freud would be interested in an abomination such as Leatherface? Maybe it's not that funny.

What do you think of this story? Tell me, tell me, tell me...


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Stan, Daryl, Amon, Teddy, and Phil take their fraternity brother Daniel to the woods on a Halloween Eve (pretending it's an initiation ritual). When they get there, they tell Daniel to dress up in a suit and bizarre skin-type mask that Phil brought to the 'event' as a Halloween costume --- of Leatherface!). Daniel puts on the costume, suits up, and Amon hands him a chainsaw (it's broken but it's still a chainsaw). Daryl then tells him, "Alright, brother, now you simply dance around with that chainsaw and convince us you're Leatherface, or we'll humiliate you on this Halloween."

Daniel does the proverbial 'monkey-dance,' and Stan remarks, "Hey Daryl, I think this dude's pretty convincing." Just then Amon pulls out four water-pistols and hands them to each of his buddies (Stan, Daryl, Teddy, and Phil). They're to toss the water-pistols around while standing in a perimeter around Daniel while shooting water at his face (just to frustrate him during his convincing 'monkey-dance'). As Daniel/Leatherface starts getting flustered, he screams, "You skin-necks! I AM Leatherface!" Just then, Daniel's chainsaw begins to work (miraculously!) and everyone (except Daniel) starts tweaking.

Amon tells them to keep playing their game (to keep distracting this 'Frankenstein'). They toss the water-pistols around and take turns shooting at Daniel's face, so the *oddball* does not know which way to attack (with that miraculously-working chainsaw!). After about 10 tosses in-rotation, Amon makes a dash and starts running away, and Daniel/Leatherface decides to chase him alone. Daryl says, "Man, I never figured Amon for a turncoat." As Daniel/Leatherface and Amon go running off into the deep woods and disappear, the others just stand there amazed figuring out what to do next. Suddenly, they hear the chainsaw go silent and start running into the woods to find Amon.

When they come upon the 'scene' they notice Daniel/Leatherface lying on the ground in pain. Next to him on the ground lies a bloody axe (which Amon apparently used to swipe and hack at the oddball's left-leg, which is why it seemed the oddball fell down, allowing Amon to grab the chainsaw from him). Daryl keeps Daniel pinned on the ground, and Stan asks Amon what happened, and Amon delivers the report:

"I knew this frat-bro 'initiate' was a true American psycho. I'd been following him for about three months, noticing how he talks to brothers, college professors (etc.). He'd told me during his freshman initiation that his all-time favorite American film is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the dude just can't shut up about it, so I know then, this oddball's got something itching him about the 'artistic aura of Leatherface,' which is another way of saying, he's itching to do some 'wild experiment,' pretending to be a 'genius' or something. So I planned this Halloween frat-initiation prank with Daryl and brought a chainsaw that works but takes some tinkering to actually start up. I figure we do the water-pistol distraction thing and then I draw the oddball away to a tree where I've pre-planted a shiny axe, which I use to suddenly turn around and swipe and hack his left-leg, and the oddball drops his weapon, and that's when you cats show up. Now, we simply admit him to Psychiatry (at Yale) and explain how the working-chainsaw really excited the oddball. No one knows the wiser, and we've 'chaperoned' a potential true American psycho (and we become Alpha-Delta fraternity legends). We keep this a secret, and Daniel rehabilitates into a workable human being!"

Stan sells the movie rights to the entire incident to Hollywood, and a film starring Tom Cruise (as Amon) and directed by Brett Ratner premieres, and it's a bigger hit than The Blair Witch Project. Amon, Daryl, Stan, and Phil become millionaires from the royalties, and Amon becomes good friends with Tom Cruise who converses with him regularly to do the necessary background-research for the very eccentric psychology-oriented film. However, Teddy is not happy and worried about how all this publicity will affect the 'spirit' of Daniel. No one knows/realizes that Teddy is the REAL Leatherface, taking notes on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre films and swearing revenge on Amon and the others for using the iconic American horror film 'deity' to create a bizarre 'psychiatry crusade.' Fortunately, somehow Tom Cruise has foreseen all of this and has already been training to make himself a vigilante (like Batman!) and go after Teddy (the real Leatherface). Only in America...

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[Abishai100]

Four Brothers


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Four brothers from New York decided to become bank-robbing vigilantes to protest the subjective capitalism consciousness endorsed by the Trump Administration. These four brothers, Tom Cruise, Tom Berenger, Ben Frank, and Ajay Satan, a mix of celebrities and American bureaucrats, called themselves the Troop of Four, and they believed their ethics passion made them new age 'prophets.' The Troop of Four decided to travel to Arizona one summer and do some 'street-philosophy' in the hot season, preaching outside merchant-shops wearing masks of ex-Presidents (e.g., Reagan, Carter, Nixon, Clinton, etc.).

However, that summer in Arizona, the Troop of Four discovered a deranged Occultism movement involving the children of a small town forming a murderous cult designed to 'copycat' the Satanic behaviors depicted in the Stephen King horror novel Children of the Corn. The children were led by a 'self-proclaimed Messiah' who called himself Malachi. Malachi wielded a machete and had already killed 10 adults (including 3 police officers). The Troop of Four were the only ones who knew the Occult murders were being perpetrated by Malachi's 'child gang,' since they found clues the Arizona police missed. The Troop of Four realized Malachi was opening up an 'American hellgate.'

When the Troop of Four apprehended Malachi who was hiding in a barn, they asked him why he wanted to copycat the characterizations from the apocalyptic Stephen King novel. Malachi explained that at the End of Days (described in Revelation), a man who deifies a 'society totem' of a wolf/predator will rise to prominence as a 'pedestrian gatekeeper' for harvest omens. Malachi believed this gatekeeper would be an American psycho performing copycat crimes modelled after the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal Leatherface (depicted in the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre horror film franchise). When the Troop of Four realized Malachi could be perceptive and accurate about these 'prophetic visions' (since modern-day Americans were fascinated by images/stories about 'pedestrian unrest'), they decided to go on an Internet-blogging campaign, warning people, "Beware! The day has come when crime and violence-glorification in movies will give rise to the ultimate 'American electrocutioner' --- a 'Leatherface copycat'! Fear not, for The Troop of Four (we happy 'four brothers') will save the day!"

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Four Brothers (Film)

 

[Abishai100]

Four Brothers: Chapter 2


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Cruise, Berenger, Ben, and Ajay wandered around Arizona looking for this psychotic 'Leatherface-copycat.' Finally, they met an old sage in an old small desert town who claimed that he who copies Leatherface is in fact Leatherface! Cruise asked the sage what that meant for the circumstance where there could literally be 100 Leatherfaces running around, but the sage had completed his advice segment and laughed off Cruise's skeptical remark by retorting, "Well, we'll have to find a way to ban chainsaws, eh? Haha!!" The Troop of Four continued to look around Arizona in search of Leatherface. They had left Malachi and his deranged gang of children behind and were determined to find 'Leatherface.'

When they stumbled upon what looked like an old abandoned house near where their rental car broke down, they wondered why it looked so old and rickety. Berenger joked the house looked like something right out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! As the Troop of Four made their way down to the basement, they were horrified to discover a man with a chainsaw and a human skin mask lying on the ground unconscious. Next to this deranged psycho were the remains of corpses he had cut up with his chainsaw and a video documentary of the American serial killer Ed Gein. The Troop of Four realized this psycho was the 'Leatherface-copycat'!

The man the Troop of Four found in that basement was named Thomas Hue, and he was now in the custody of Arizona police. The government had set up an elaborate psychiatric asylum for Hue and wanted to understand why a man would want to copycat a horror-cinema monster such as Leatherface! Cruise and Berenger kept their identities a secret, but Ben and Ajay spoke for them and even gave interviews to journalists on behalf of the valiant Troop of Four. TIME magazine did a special issue on the mysterious and heroic Troop of Four, but the cover featured only the photos of Ben and Ajay (though they did hint the two other members were unnamed American celebrities). The American rock band Metallica even made a song and MTV music video about the Troop of Four catching the 'Leatherface-copycat.' Soon, as many youngsters were talking evangelically about the Troop of Four as they once did about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Vogue Magazine did a special tuxedo issue with the headline, "Who will be tomorrow's sharply-dressed 'Troop of Four'?"

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VOGUE MAGAZINE (Cover Photo):

LEATHERFACE (Thomas Hue):