Talking to son about masturbation

[Pogo]

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

Nope. Never heard that metaphor, ever.
I think it kinda has to be established first. "Casbah"? Kind of a stretch, no?

No not really.

Humor. Buy some.

Has nothing to do with "humor". Has to do with "secret decoder rings".
In order for humor to happen both parties have to know the basis of it. Can't just make up new expressions and expect them to sell.

It isn't new because you never heard it before.

Anyone else in this thread ever heard this idiom?

(Wiki):
A kasbah, or in older English casbah, and qasbah or qassabah in India, is a type of medina, Islamic city, or fortress (citadel).[1][2][3]

It was a place for the local leader to live and a defense when a city was under attack. A kasbah has high walls, usually without windows. Sometimes, they were built on hilltops so that they could be more easily defended. Some were placed near the entrance to harbors.

Having a kasbah built was a sign of wealth of some families in the city. Almost all cities had their kasbah, this building being something necessary for the city to survive. When colonization started in 1830, in northern Algeria, there were a great number of kasbahs that lasted for more than 100 years.

The word kasbah may also be used to describe the old part of a city, in which case it has the same meaning as a medina quarter. The Spanish word alcazaba is a cognate naming the equivalent building in Andalusia or Moorish Spain. In Portuguese, it evolved into the word alcáçova. In Turkish and Urdu the word kasaba refers to a settlement larger than a village but smaller than a city; in short, a town.

(Song) - The song gives a fabulist account of a ban on rock music by the king being defied by the population, who proceed to "rock the casbah." The king orders jet fighters to bomb any people in violation of the ban. The pilots ignored the orders, and instead played rock music on their cockpit radios. It was inspired by the ban on Western music in Iran after the 1979 Islamic Revolution.​

Really. "Casbah"? How in the frick do you get that out of "Casbah"?

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

Nope. Never heard that metaphor, ever.
I think it kinda has to be established first. "Casbah"? Kind of a stretch, no?

No not really.

Humor. Buy some.

Has nothing to do with "humor". Has to do with "secret decoder rings".
In order for humor to happen both parties have to know the basis of it. Can't just make up new expressions and expect them to sell.

It isn't new because you never heard it before.

Anyone else in this thread ever heard this idiom?

(Wiki):
A kasbah, or in older English casbah, and qasbah or qassabah in India, is a type of medina, Islamic city, or fortress (citadel).[1][2][3]

It was a place for the local leader to live and a defense when a city was under attack. A kasbah has high walls, usually without windows. Sometimes, they were built on hilltops so that they could be more easily defended. Some were placed near the entrance to harbors.

Having a kasbah built was a sign of wealth of some families in the city. Almost all cities had their kasbah, this building being something necessary for the city to survive. When colonization started in 1830, in northern Algeria, there were a great number of kasbahs that lasted for more than 100 years.

The word kasbah may also be used to describe the old part of a city, in which case it has the same meaning as a medina quarter. The Spanish word alcazaba is a cognate naming the equivalent building in Andalusia or Moorish Spain. In Portuguese, it evolved into the word alcáçova. In Turkish and Urdu the word kasaba refers to a settlement larger than a village but smaller than a city; in short, a town.

(Song) - The song gives a fabulist account of a ban on rock music by the king being defied by the population, who proceed to "rock the casbah." The king orders jet fighters to bomb any people in violation of the ban. The pilots ignored the orders, and instead played rock music on their cockpit radios. It was inspired by the ban on Western music in Iran after the 1979 Islamic Revolution.​

Really. "Casbah"? How in the frick do you get that out of "Casbah"?

I pity you.

 

[rightwinger]

Why would you talk to your kid about masterbation?

Just tell him don't do it in front of your mother

If you are someday blessed with a pubescent boy, you'll understand. It's a conversation that can't be avoided.

I'll be 60 next year and still haven't talked to my parents about masterbation

I had two boys who are now adults
The topic never came up

I just assumed they did it and didn't really care

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Why would you talk to your kid about masterbation?

Just tell him don't do it in front of your mother

If you are someday blessed with a pubescent boy, you'll understand. It's a conversation that can't be avoided.

I'll be 60 next year and still haven't talked to my parents about masterbation

I had two boys who are now adults
The topic never came up

I just assumed they did it and didn't really care

Hard to believe. Maybe their mother didn't care about ruined happy socks or splooge on the shower walls, or porno mags but my wife does. Then there's the theological questions. My son actually listens to what they teach at school.

"Figure it out yourself," is cold, aloof non-parenting. Kids need leadership. No points awarded for being absent.

 

[rightwinger]

Why would you talk to your kid about masterbation?

Just tell him don't do it in front of your mother

If you are someday blessed with a pubescent boy, you'll understand. It's a conversation that can't be avoided.

I'll be 60 next year and still haven't talked to my parents about masterbation

I had two boys who are now adults
The topic never came up

I just assumed they did it and didn't really care

Hard to believe. Maybe their mother didn't care about ruined happy socks or splooge on the shower walls, or porno mags but my wife does. Then there's the theological questions. My son actually listens to what they teach at school.

"Figure it out yourself," is cold, aloof non-parenting. Kids need leadership. No points awarded for being absent.

Your kid seems to suffer from guilt

Your religion is doing its job

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Why would you talk to your kid about masterbation?

Just tell him don't do it in front of your mother

If you are someday blessed with a pubescent boy, you'll understand. It's a conversation that can't be avoided.

I'll be 60 next year and still haven't talked to my parents about masterbation

I had two boys who are now adults
The topic never came up

I just assumed they did it and didn't really care

Hard to believe. Maybe their mother didn't care about ruined happy socks or splooge on the shower walls, or porno mags but my wife does. Then there's the theological questions. My son actually listens to what they teach at school.

"Figure it out yourself," is cold, aloof non-parenting. Kids need leadership. No points awarded for being absent.

Your kid seems to suffer from guilt

Your religion is doing its job

Thank you. We do try hard.

 

[Pogo]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

Welcome to Erf!

 

[mudwhistle]

My son is 12.

Son: At school they taught it was a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church.

Me: That's right.

Son: Does that mean I have to go to confession EVERY time I do it or I'll go to hell?

Me: How often are we talking about, son?

Son: (drops his head down) Like three or four times a day.

Me: Good God! I mean....ok. I'm glad we're having this talk. You can just save them up and receive absolution for everything once a week.

Son: But why would God make something a sin if I can't help it? That's just not fair.

Me: Because God is a boy with an ant farm and this is one of his cruel jokes. (Bitterly because I remember this same dilemma from when I was a boy)

I can see why my wife wants me to have these discussions. But on this topic, there are no good answers.

My church never said it was a sin, mortal or venial.
They didn't address it at all.

I like the ant farm analogy though. And three or four times a day, that's good. You know he's healthy.

It's about how often I did it too. But it still shocks a father to hear it which is why I was startled. Funny how that is.

We Catholics are funny creatures. We set the bar high and then collectively fail to meet it and then set it high again for the next generation to fail.

Use science to fight this problem.

Tell him to cut down to 3 times a week or he'll end up with warts all over his hands and penis and his prostrate will swell up to the size of a grapefruit by the time he's 30.......

 

[Pogo]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

Welcome to Erf!

Come on --- a sock?? Who even thinks of that? A freakin' foot fetishist?

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

Welcome to Erf!

Come on --- a sock?? Who even thinks of that? A freakin' foot fetishist?

What the hell planet do you come from that you don't know adolescent boys use jerk socks?

Educate yourself:

 

[Pogo]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

Welcome to Erf!

Come on --- a sock?? Who even thinks of that? A freakin' foot fetishist?

What the hell planet do you come from that you don't know adolescent boys use jerk socks?

Educate yourself:

Never heard of that until this very thread.
What the hell's the point? Why would you use a sock? I don't get it.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

Welcome to Erf!

Come on --- a sock?? Who even thinks of that? A freakin' foot fetishist?

What the hell planet do you come from that you don't know adolescent boys use jerk socks?

Educate yourself:

Never heard of that until this very thread.
What the hell's the point? Why would you use a sock? I don't get it.

I don't use a sock, I use a woman. But if you're talking about pubescent boys, the answer, which should be obvious to anyone with an intellect north of a house plant, is in the video you didn't watch. The kid in the Weeds episode was flushing them down the toilet afterwards and causing massive plumbing pandemonium. Every boy finds some way to try to ditch the evidence.

 

[Pogo]

I had to look up "happy sock" in the Urpin' Dictionary.

Never heard of this one either -- neither the term nor the practice. Really-- a sock?

Y'all live in a weird place.

Welcome to Erf!

Come on --- a sock?? Who even thinks of that? A freakin' foot fetishist?

What the hell planet do you come from that you don't know adolescent boys use jerk socks?

Educate yourself:

Never heard of that until this very thread.
What the hell's the point? Why would you use a sock? I don't get it.

I don't use a sock, I use a woman. But if you're talking about pubescent boys, the answer, which should be obvious to anyone with an intellect north of a house plant, is in the video you didn't watch. The kid in the Weeds episode was flushing them down the toilet afterwards and causing massive plumbing pandemonium. Every boy finds some way to try to ditch the evidence.

Not you "you" -- anybody.

No doubt if one spoiled a sock one would have to dispose of it. But one would have thought of that before one picked up one's sock in the first place, would one not?

I mean how do you even think of --- a sock?? What the hell for? Why not a baseball glove or a wallet or a shopping bag or a Toyota owner's manual? In a million years that wouldn't have occurred to me, ever. I think somebody's generating an urpin' legend here.

 

[ninja007]

My son is 12.

Son: At school they taught it was a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church.

Me: That's right.

Son: Does that mean I have to go to confession EVERY time I do it or I'll go to hell?

Me: How often are we talking about, son?

Son: (drops his head down) Like three or four times a day.

Me: Good God! I mean....ok. I'm glad we're having this talk. You can just save them up and receive absolution for everything once a week.

Son: But why would God make something a sin if I can't help it? That's just not fair.

Me: Because God is a boy with an ant farm and this is one of his cruel jokes. (Bitterly because I remember this same dilemma from when I was a boy)

I can see why my wife wants me to have these discussions. But on this topic, there are no good answers.

Could try the novel approach of telling him the truth. "If they say it's a mortal sin, politely ask them to show you where in the Bible it says that."

We Catholics are not "people of the book". The Church is the highest authority, not a book.

Jesus is the highest authority- All He said is in the BOOK.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

My son is 12.

Son: At school they taught it was a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church.

Me: That's right.

Son: Does that mean I have to go to confession EVERY time I do it or I'll go to hell?

Me: How often are we talking about, son?

Son: (drops his head down) Like three or four times a day.

Me: Good God! I mean....ok. I'm glad we're having this talk. You can just save them up and receive absolution for everything once a week.

Son: But why would God make something a sin if I can't help it? That's just not fair.

Me: Because God is a boy with an ant farm and this is one of his cruel jokes. (Bitterly because I remember this same dilemma from when I was a boy)

I can see why my wife wants me to have these discussions. But on this topic, there are no good answers.

Could try the novel approach of telling him the truth. "If they say it's a mortal sin, politely ask them to show you where in the Bible it says that."

We Catholics are not "people of the book". The Church is the highest authority, not a book.

Jesus is the highest authority- All He said is in the BOOK.

And Jesus invested that authority in His Church. You guys should actually read the Bible.

 

[Wake]

All I will say rat this moment is that I will hopefully have a son or two some day, and I have no idea what the hell I should say when we reach that point in time.

 

[ninja007]

My son is 12.

Son: At school they taught it was a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church.

Me: That's right.

Son: Does that mean I have to go to confession EVERY time I do it or I'll go to hell?

Me: How often are we talking about, son?

Son: (drops his head down) Like three or four times a day.

Me: Good God! I mean....ok. I'm glad we're having this talk. You can just save them up and receive absolution for everything once a week.

Son: But why would God make something a sin if I can't help it? That's just not fair.

Me: Because God is a boy with an ant farm and this is one of his cruel jokes. (Bitterly because I remember this same dilemma from when I was a boy)

I can see why my wife wants me to have these discussions. But on this topic, there are no good answers.

Could try the novel approach of telling him the truth. "If they say it's a mortal sin, politely ask them to show you where in the Bible it says that."

We Catholics are not "people of the book". The Church is the highest authority, not a book.

Jesus is the highest authority- All He said is in the BOOK.

And Jesus invested that authority in His Church. You guys should actually read the Bible.

he invested it on himself- Jesus is the rock.