Study Finds Men Will Purchase Literally Any Object Described As 'Tactical'

[1srelluc]

Study Finds Men Will Purchase Literally Any Object Described As 'Tactical'

AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical".

babylonbee.com

AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical".

"You can slap the word 'tactical' on a houseplant and men will buy it," said lead researcher Dr. Marcus Simms. "Just add a carabineer to a can of soup and voila! Men will be lining up to purchase tactical soup."

According to researchers, the study placed men in a store with various objects labeled as "tactical" and observed their behavior. "Tactical oven mitts? Yes, please," said study participant John Halston, throwing a pair into his cart. "Tactical picture frames, yup. Done. Aw, they're out of tactical plungers!"

The team tried progressively more absurd objects, but there was simply no item the study creators could come up with that men would not buy so long as it bore the "tactical" label. "What even is a tactical record player?" asked baffled research assistant Jamie Haskins. "Doesn't matter, he's throwing it in the cart. And there he goes, buying a tactical goldfish. Unbelievable."

At publishing time, the team was pushing further into feminine products, discovering that only 99% of men would purchase a "tactical fall-scented air freshener".

I saw Tactical in this tread title and immediately had to buy it.....Thanks for costing me more money Bee!

Hey, sometimes it's fun poking fun at your own.....Something the left can't seem to accomplish.

 

[Dogmaphobe]

Tactical Tampons" -- For women who send their husbands out of the house with a grocery list.

 

[1srelluc]

 

[The Duke]

It's true!

I was looking an ad yesterday.

"Tactical pen" $30-$40.

Brah, it's a pen. I'll steal mine from when voting and the bank for free!

PS, those voting pens are pretty nice quality.

 

[Manonthestreet]

weak bait

 

[The Duke]

$30/9 oz.

You can get shelf-life bacon for less than that.

 

[1srelluc]

$30/9 oz.

You can get shelf-life bacon for less than that.

But it's not tactical!

But yeah, canned bacon has been around for many decades.

The trouble with the stuff is it's so salty you will drink the creek dry.....We used to soak it first.

 

[1srelluc]

weak bait

Hooked you.

 

[Manonthestreet]

Hooked you.

You dont see me with piles of junk cause someone said tactical

 

[1srelluc]

You dont see me with piles of junk cause someone said tactical

Chill Francis.

 

[The Duke]

But it's not tactical!

But yeah, canned bacon has been around for many decades.

The trouble with the stuff is it's so salty you will drink the creek dry.....We used to soak it first.

I know I don't want no "liquid smoke" added stuff.

Liquid Smoke is Satan's farts. It's of the devil! The Devil, I tell ya!

 

[Crepitus]

Study Finds Men Will Purchase Literally Any Object Described As 'Tactical'

AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical".

babylonbee.com

AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical".

"You can slap the word 'tactical' on a houseplant and men will buy it," said lead researcher Dr. Marcus Simms. "Just add a carabineer to a can of soup and voila! Men will be lining up to purchase tactical soup."

According to researchers, the study placed men in a store with various objects labeled as "tactical" and observed their behavior. "Tactical oven mitts? Yes, please," said study participant John Halston, throwing a pair into his cart. "Tactical picture frames, yup. Done. Aw, they're out of tactical plungers!"

The team tried progressively more absurd objects, but there was simply no item the study creators could come up with that men would not buy so long as it bore the "tactical" label. "What even is a tactical record player?" asked baffled research assistant Jamie Haskins. "Doesn't matter, he's throwing it in the cart. And there he goes, buying a tactical goldfish. Unbelievable."

At publishing time, the team was pushing further into feminine products, discovering that only 99% of men would purchase a "tactical fall-scented air freshener".

I saw Tactical in this tread title and immediately had to buy it.....Thanks for costing me more money Bee!

Hey, sometimes it's fun poking fun at your own.....Something the left can't seem to accomplish.

Fuck yeah, I collect ridiculous shit like that for fun. I even have a tactical spork. And of course the ninja pen and all the other crazy shit. Used to be all hung on the office wall behind my desk, now it's in the basement waiting to be hung up in the "man cave".

 

[1srelluc]

Fuck yeah, I collect ridiculous shit like that for fun. I even have a tactical spork. And of course the ninja pen and all the other crazy shit. Used to be all hung on the office wall behind my desk, now it's in the basement waiting to be hung up in the "man cave".

LOL....I have a Kabar spork too!

 

[Foxfyre]

Study Finds Men Will Purchase Literally Any Object Described As 'Tactical'

AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical".

babylonbee.com

AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical".

"You can slap the word 'tactical' on a houseplant and men will buy it," said lead researcher Dr. Marcus Simms. "Just add a carabineer to a can of soup and voila! Men will be lining up to purchase tactical soup."

According to researchers, the study placed men in a store with various objects labeled as "tactical" and observed their behavior. "Tactical oven mitts? Yes, please," said study participant John Halston, throwing a pair into his cart. "Tactical picture frames, yup. Done. Aw, they're out of tactical plungers!"

The team tried progressively more absurd objects, but there was simply no item the study creators could come up with that men would not buy so long as it bore the "tactical" label. "What even is a tactical record player?" asked baffled research assistant Jamie Haskins. "Doesn't matter, he's throwing it in the cart. And there he goes, buying a tactical goldfish. Unbelievable."

At publishing time, the team was pushing further into feminine products, discovering that only 99% of men would purchase a "tactical fall-scented air freshener".

I saw Tactical in this tread title and immediately had to buy it.....Thanks for costing me more money Bee!

Hey, sometimes it's fun poking fun at your own.....Something the left can't seem to accomplish.

I love this as all real humor contains a piece of the truth which is what makes it funny. Just like those who will buy anything that has an 'organic' label on it never questioning whether the stuff actually is organic or 'farm fresh' is a real turn on for a lot of people.

And those of us old enough remember how 'smart' people were when they reached for that pack of 'doctor recommended' cigarettes.

Advertising is an art and skill to hook the gullible.

 

[Crepitus]

LOL....I have a Kabar spork too!

Exactly the one.

 

[Leo123]

You dont see me with piles of junk cause someone said tactical

Me neither, my piles of junk are tactical free.

 

[Leo123]

I love this as all real humor contains a piece of the truth which is what makes it funny. Just like those who will buy anything that has an 'organic' label on it never questioning whether the stuff actually is organic or 'farm fresh' is a real turn on for a lot of people.

And those of us old enough remember how 'smart' people were when they reached for that pack of 'doctor recommended' cigarettes.

Advertising is an art and skill to hook the gullible.

Do you have a tactical, organic package of tofu?

 

[Foxfyre]

Do you have a tactical, organic package of tofu?

Well if I don't I could put a label on one.

 

[The Duke]

Do you have a tactical, organic package of tofu?

Tofu should be outlawed.