Smartie's Bar & Grill III

[Kimi]

I say let's drink, CB. Looks like the bar cleared out pretty good. You'll have to find your own sausage, though.

I am on a sausage hunt. You know good sausage is hard to find.

I'm ready for a drink......Its almost imagination time.........I'm thinking something like......a three hour tour.......you know all Gilligan like. Maybe tonight. Depends how drunk I get by then. These people have no fucking idea. But you have to give them credit. They already know to ignore me. LMFAO!!!!

Later! I'm going for a ride.

 

[cleanhouse]

I will...but if you're a woman, and you're in my kitchen, you'd best be making me a sammich.

I make a great Reuben will that please you...and I use Russian dressing?

Please jot down the name of the pill you just popped. A Reuben? What Reuben's shit on a sandwich. If there was a guy in my kitchen he needs to be laying down a floor or me!!

A reuben: pastrami on rye with sauerkraut, swiss cheese with russian dressing. Grill till you have a nice little toasty grilly look and serve with a half sour pickle and a glass of beer. Good to go.

 

[cleanhouse]

I say let's drink, CB. Looks like the bar cleared out pretty good. You'll have to find your own sausage, though.

I am on a sausage hunt. You know good sausage is hard to find.

I'm ready for a drink......Its almost imagination time.........I'm thinking something like......a three hour tour.......you know all Gilligan like. Maybe tonight. Depends how drunk I get by then. These people have no fucking idea. But you have to give them credit. They already know to ignore me. LMFAO!!!!

Sorry I wasn't ignoring you. I had to leave my time is not my own it belongs to others and animals but not to me.

 

[Cherry bomb]

Get on your feet!!
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEqj9_o-3LU]YouTube - Gloria Estefan - Get on your feet (live, 1996)[/ame]

New day, new adventures.

So, lets see.........Kahlua in da coffee, tasty. Oh wait, fuck it, I said coffee. I hope I didn't offend anyone. LOL

Egg shells........I'm walking on fucking egg shells ovah heah.......Not my style at all! Has two minutes passed yet, because thats about all that's gonna last.

So, tell me how many of you are reading this and saying.........what an asshole? LMFAO You'd be correct in that assessment. How many of you lookie looies are just dieing to post something but........feel restricted in some fashion? Free yourself and take the dive. It's a fucking bar! The cooler is open and play the juke box!

Come on.........if I start telling stories you all are gonna be mind numbed. I got a Gilligan one all lined up. By the way, did you ever think about sex on that island? I have. Now figure the Howells had mansion sex at a ratio of 1x in 365 days for 30 seconds. Now Ginger, that's another story.

Don't believe me? Check it out. Sharing is caring!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59VRG_5A0N8]YouTube - Gilligan's Island Theme[/ame]

 

[Cherry bomb]

LMFAO!!!

Ok, I'll sit here and play with myself.


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPTZVmJrIpo&playnext=1&videos=SAtvPfIv59Q&feature=artistob]YouTube - Love Like This[/ame]
Oh my, the boy next door.........flashback! Still best friends!

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI&feature=channel[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTSgoXAXddk&feature=related[/ame]

 

[Cherry bomb]

So Cherry bomb, how the fuck ya doin'?
-Doin' pretty good. You?
Good, I see your making quite an impression here.
-Is it that obvious.
Oh no, it must be a glitch in the system.
- Oh, I thought it was the "repulsion force field" set to super repulse.
Could be. You havin' fun?
-Yes, I'm about to escalate my level of funnery. I'm gonna drive this 6 penny spiral shank nail in my pinkie toe.
Now why the fuck would you do that?
- Cheap entertainment. Aside from that, it was a pussy and already cried wee, wee, wee all the way home.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw0YKg07Zz0]YouTube - Jethro Tull- Bungle In The Jungle[/ame]


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0dsIeJ2EZU&feature=related]YouTube - Jethro Tull- Too old too rock'n'roll too old to die[/ame]


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCcwNoVSt2E&feature=related]YouTube - Jethro Tull- Locomotive Breath[/ame]

 

[Cherry bomb]

So CB, how'd you make out?
-Good, drunk enough to not feel a thing. But I have a slight problem.
Gee, what's that?
-Foot's nailed to the floor. I can't reach the Sawzall, so I'm using a bread knife to free myself. I might be here a while. Figure I'm gonna attach some casters on the bottom of the board and skate to the ER

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTKu-L1b--o]YouTube - Jethro Tull- Skating Away On The Thin Ice Of The New Day[/ame]

 

[Cherry bomb]

Shit that wasn't so bad. Casters on and I'm ready ta roll. Lets see google map in hand and my insurance card.......damn it where's my insurance card? Oh this is gonna cost a small fortune without my insurance card. Wait.......slow down......think.....I'll skate to Canada! Oh don't be rediculas......OK......I better go to the clinic. Yeah thats it, I'll skate to the fucking clinic. I bet they seen it all anyway. Wait, one more drink before I go.....Oh hell there's enough room on this board to bring the cooler. Where's my bungee cord. Jesus, they just don't make casters like they use to. This wheel is fucked up like a bad shopping cart. Shit I hope I make it. Off I go..Hey you bastard get the fucking car out of the way. Can't you see I'm injured!

Should I stop at red lights? What the fuck are the rules of the road for skateboards. I'm telling you now, if I didn't wanna spill this damn cooler I'd ride a rail or two on the way.

What the hell are you looking at? Haven't you evah see a woman with a oak floorboard and casters nailed to her pinkie toe. Move along fool!

Ah, made it. Shit I hope the inside looks better than the outside. It's skeevy lookin'. Fucking insurance card. Fucking Canada!

Inside..........Oh I'm next already.......


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5Zw4ZARvNg]YouTube - UAB Emergency Room Rap[/ame]

 

[Cherry bomb]

Arrivederci suo è stato divertente!

 

[Sands]

A place for new friends... and old friends. Everyone is welcome here.

Pull up a bar stool and drink away your political sorrows. Life's too short to argue politics ALL the time!

Wow, I'm sorry to have missed the Grand Opening, although it seemed pretty tame.

But I'm even happier to witness the boarding of windows and gathering of dust.