Should you be honest with your kids about your own drug use?

[eots]

Comparison: Alcohol vs. Marijuana
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5HNwriwPFM&feature=related]YouTube - Comparison: Alcohol vs. Marijuana[/ame]

discussion about alcohol, marijuana, and domestic violence
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ldGBdazThc]YouTube - A discussion about alcohol, marijuana, and domestic violence[/ame]

 

[Luissa]

Comparison: Alcohol vs. Marijuana
YouTube - Comparison: Alcohol vs. Marijuana

discussion about alcohol, marijuana, and domestic violence
YouTube - A discussion about alcohol, marijuana, and domestic violence

I didn't read your article but I could not see someone stoned commiting DV! And to this day there are zero deaths attributed to Marijuana, I did hear once a guy choked on it when trying to eat it. There is no way to really overdose on it, if you smoke to much you just fall asleep and really can't move so that put outs driving!

 

[alan1]

maybe when they got older I would tell them the truth but not when they are in high school. If my kid know about how I dropped acid or shroomed I don't want them thinking it is alright for them to try the same thing and then there is the fact I was coke head during my early twenties and that is something they shouldn't know until they are older. I didn't have some simple recreational problem with drugs and alchohol and I don't want them to end up like me. For one I will never drink around them !

But, it is when they are high school that they start getting the peer pressure to get involved in drugs. You just saying 'NO" probably isn't going to dissuade them. You telling them about your negative experiences adds a a whole lot more to the discussion and the arguments and the reasons.
Just my opinion as a parent of adult children that seem to have their act together.

 

[alan1]

No.

I've changed my mind on this. I was never a heavy drug user. I smoked pot a couple dozen times in university and dropped acid once. I do believe in legalization and think that recreational drug use of soft drugs is less dangerous than alcohol.

I used to think I'd tell my son. He's 10. But my wife and I talked about this. Our goal is to keep our son off drugs. The question we asked is what option is most likely to keep him off drugs, telling him or not telling him? By telling him, you are legitimizing behavior you are trying to discourage. So what is the point in telling him? You are undermining your message. If I want to keep him off drugs, I see no upside in telling him.

FYI I drink at home, but usually only 1-3 drinks a night. I have been rip roaring drunk once since he was born, and fortunately, he was long asleep after I got home. My son has never seen me drunk and he never will.

I disagree. By telling him the facts of your personal situation, and how it adversely affected you at the time, adds credence to your discussion. 10 years old is still to soon, but don't rule out the honesty of telling him the truth of your history.

 

[Toro]

I disagree. By telling him the facts of your personal situation, and how it adversely affected you at the time, adds credence to your discussion. 10 years old is still to soon, but don't rule out the honesty of telling him the truth of your history.

It didn't adversely effect me. I enjoyed it.

 

[alan1]

It didn't adversely effect me. I enjoyed it.

Oh, then you might want to keep that to yourself.

 

[Luissa]

But, it is when they are high school that they start getting the peer pressure to get involved in drugs. You just saying 'NO" probably isn't going to dissuade them. You telling them about your negative experiences adds a a whole lot more to the discussion and the arguments and the reasons.
Just my opinion as a parent of adult children that seem to have their act together.

YOu might be right and I will share some of my experiences with them but not everything. I will probably make my decsion when I get there. And do you tell them only the bad experiences, I mean without the coke not all my drug experience were bad?

 

[sky dancer]

Be honest when asked and may you have the wisdom to tell a story that will benefit your kids. Otherwise, protect your privacy. I think some of what parents share with their kids is ridiculous.

Some discussions are not appropriate. Once I came out to my father he thought I was interested in hearing about his sexual exploits. I was not. This was not a 'bonding experience' I wanted to have with my dad.

I never discussed my sexual life with my father. I was more adult than he was, though.

 

[alan1]

YOu might be right and I will share some of my experiences with them but not everything. I will probably make my decsion when I get there. And do you tell them only the bad experiences, I mean without the coke not all my drug experience were bad?

I told my kids the truth about what they asked. I didn't offer a lot of information just to do so. Part of it is just developing open and honest relationships with your kids. I was a single parent of 2 girls, I needed that honesty and open relationship to raise them. Sometimes it sucks to hear what they have to say to you, but I was glad my daughters told me when they were sexually active when they did, it was better to find out they needed preventive birth control rather than reactive birth control. My eldest used some drugs, I preferred hearing it from her, rather than from a cop.

 

[catzmeow]

I always said I would never tell, but when my daughter came out and asked me point blank if I ever smoked pot, I told her the truth. The thing is...if you did it, you have to choose between telling the truth in answer to a direct question, and lying. I told her the truth, but I also told her i regretted doing it, because I made bad choices as a result. She's 15. I hope she does not ever smoke pot, but there comes a time when you really can't make that choice for them.

 

[alan1]

I always said I would never tell, but when my daughter came out and asked me point blank if I ever smoked pot, I told her the truth. The thing is...if you did it, you have to choose between telling the truth in answer to a direct question, and lying. I told her the truth, but I also told her i regretted doing it, because I made bad choices as a result. She's 15. I hope she does not ever smoke pot, but there comes a time when you really can't make that choice for them.

No, you can't.
What you can do (and did do) is offer your guidance, experience and honesty. and for those of you that have pre-teens, trust me, when they get to be 15-16 years old, they can tell when you are lying, just like you can tell when they are.

 

[strollingbones]

how funny that people would advocate lying to their kids about something as harmless as past drug use....i wonder if its shame or guilt or just easier to lie and pretend you really are all knowing..what bullshit

 

[PoliticalChic]

I'm talking about past use, as most who grew up in the 60's or 70's did. I always figured that I would be honest until I was talking to a friend about this subject a few weeks ago. He figured that he would as well, but then heard Dr. Laura's views on this. A caller called in about it, and she told him in no uncertain terms "absolutely not". What do ya'll think?

Dr. Laura. She's the best. She's absolutely right. Saying that you did drugs would give the impression that on some level drug use is ok. "Do as I say, not as I do" doesn't work.

Believe it or not, though I've sat in a room with people smoking joints, I never took a puff myself.

 

[strollingbones]

No.

I've changed my mind on this. I was never a heavy drug user. I smoked pot a couple dozen times in university and dropped acid once. I do believe in legalization and think that recreational drug use of soft drugs is less dangerous than alcohol.

I used to think I'd tell my son. He's 10. But my wife and I talked about this. Our goal is to keep our son off drugs. The question we asked is what option is most likely to keep him off drugs, telling him or not telling him? By telling him, you are legitimizing behavior you are trying to discourage. So what is the point in telling him? You are undermining your message. If I want to keep him off drugs, I see no upside in telling him.

FYI I drink at home, but usually only 1-3 drinks a night. I have been rip roaring drunk once since he was born, and fortunately, he was long asleep after I got home. My son has never seen me drunk and he never will.

only ...how funny you do a drug nightly but think due to it being legal its fine for ya...just like the people who think cause they are charged an event fee the event must be safe....

 

[Luissa]

I told my kids the truth about what they asked. I didn't offer a lot of information just to do so. Part of it is just developing open and honest relationships with your kids. I was a single parent of 2 girls, I needed that honesty and open relationship to raise them. Sometimes it sucks to hear what they have to say to you, but I was glad my daughters told me when they were sexually active when they did, it was better to find out they needed preventive birth control rather than reactive birth control. My eldest used some drugs, I preferred hearing it from her, rather than from a cop.

My problem is I am not very proud of some of my drug use and would like to keep it private. My family knows alittle about it and with my sister's big mouth I am sure my son will find out someday but I don't want to find out the complete story and will probably never share that with him.
And I will probably tell him I smoked pot if he asks but I will never tell him for a few years I was always stoned all the time.

 

[eots]

No.

I've changed my mind on this. I was never a heavy drug user. I smoked pot a couple dozen times in university and dropped acid once. I do believe in legalization and think that recreational drug use of soft drugs is less dangerous than alcohol.

I used to think I'd tell my son. He's 10. But my wife and I talked about this. Our goal is to keep our son off drugs. The question we asked is what option is most likely to keep him off drugs, telling him or not telling him? By telling him, you are legitimizing behavior you are trying to discourage. So what is the point in telling him? You are undermining your message. If I want to keep him off drugs, I see no upside in telling him.

FYI I drink at home, but usually only 1-3 drinks a night. I have been rip roaring drunk once since he was born, and fortunately, he was long asleep after I got home. My son has never seen me drunk and he never will.

those same three drinks as a non drinker and lm drunk

 

[Agnapostate]

I'm talking about past use, as most who grew up in the 60's or 70's did. I always figured that I would be honest until I was talking to a friend about this subject a few weeks ago. He figured that he would as well, but then heard Dr. Laura's views on this. A caller called in about it, and she told him in no uncertain terms "absolutely not". What do ya'll think?

Sounds like she's in favor of people treating their offspring the same way she treats her listeners...I still casually use marijuana. And salvia.

And that doesn't bother me.

 

[Agnapostate]

But, it is when they are high school that they start getting the peer pressure to get involved in drugs. You just saying 'NO" probably isn't going to dissuade them. You telling them about your negative experiences adds a a whole lot more to the discussion and the arguments and the reasons.
Just my opinion as a parent of adult children that seem to have their act together.

I'm inclined to say that reports of teenage drug use are greatly overstated and overhyped, to be honest. The sensationalist media will never tire of airing biased stories and commentaries about youth...To be honest, I have seen little evidence that marijuana use is harmful to youth. I've seen an easily rebutted report from the drug czar's office, but nothing legitimate.

 

[Shogun]

I'd be honest about drug use. Anything else would only perpetuate misnomers about drug use. As long as we treat pot as if it were taboo, despite beer commercials and gratuitous drinking everywhere else, then we've failed to be honest with the next generation as out parents were to us.

the fact that Kieth Richards is still alive is pertinent. Indeed, he and mick may very well be turning into zombies right before our very eyes due to that little deal with satan they made back in the 60s BUT.. hiding behind nomenclature when we all do some sort of drug is just silly.

 

[Epsilon Delta]

My parents were very honest with me (as far as I know, haha) and I intend to be pretty honest to my kids should they ask, if I ever have any.