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desire to change your partner is mostly a grass-is-greener thing.
How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
Many fear being alone again more than they find disagreements in the relationship bothersome. Like how abused partners stay with their abusers rather than leave. Why I've always felt being more self-reliant and learning to be happy 'alone in an empty room' was a good idea. Should never let another person become to deciding factor in our happiness. If not happy on your own you only make yourself dependent upon relationships. And that makes you being used or abused mroe likely.
going to a movie the your partner wants to see is not equivalent to being abused.
my wife and i, for a while were taking turns, each month.
one of us would plan a date without any input from the other.
we had found that trying to come up with shared interests were causing us to simply fail in having dates.
one of her first ones was taking a glass blowing class.
i had no real interest, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after wards, there was wine and cheese and interactions with people different than we would normally meet.
another month, i required that she play an old board game that we played long long ago.
she had no real interest anymore, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after that i surprised her with dinner at a place we had never been to before.
give and take.
Someone's always in charge in relationships, the submissive-party may deny it or simply not recognize it, but it's always the case. One leads, another follows. You might think you have a choice, but the next time someone expects you to acquiesce, try saying no. See how that goes. How so? Why would you be with someone in the first place if you did not like them "as is"?
Isn't it more of a "control" vs. "Grass is Greener" issue?
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
Many fear being alone again more than they find disagreements in the relationship bothersome. Like how abused partners stay with their abusers rather than leave. Why I've always felt being more self-reliant and learning to be happy 'alone in an empty room' was a good idea. Should never let another person become to deciding factor in our happiness. If not happy on your own you only make yourself dependent upon relationships. And that makes you being used or abused mroe likely.
going to a movie the your partner wants to see is not equivalent to being abused.
my wife and i, for a while were taking turns, each month.
one of us would plan a date without any input from the other.
we had found that trying to come up with shared interests were causing us to simply fail in having dates.
one of her first ones was taking a glass blowing class.
i had no real interest, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after wards, there was wine and cheese and interactions with people different than we would normally meet.
another month, i required that she play an old board game that we played long long ago.
she had no real interest anymore, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after that i surprised her with dinner at a place we had never been to before.
give and take.
What you and others call 'give and take' I call domination and submission.
Thats because it came from his imagination, not from real world experience.Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
Many fear being alone again more than they find disagreements in the relationship bothersome. Like how abused partners stay with their abusers rather than leave. Why I've always felt being more self-reliant and learning to be happy 'alone in an empty room' was a good idea. Should never let another person become to deciding factor in our happiness. If not happy on your own you only make yourself dependent upon relationships. And that makes you being used or abused mroe likely.
going to a movie the your partner wants to see is not equivalent to being abused.
my wife and i, for a while were taking turns, each month.
one of us would plan a date without any input from the other.
we had found that trying to come up with shared interests were causing us to simply fail in having dates.
one of her first ones was taking a glass blowing class.
i had no real interest, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after wards, there was wine and cheese and interactions with people different than we would normally meet.
another month, i required that she play an old board game that we played long long ago.
she had no real interest anymore, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after that i surprised her with dinner at a place we had never been to before.
give and take.
What you and others call 'give and take' I call domination and submission.
that is insanely simplistic compared to a real relationship.
Initially I think we ignore many things we notice better over time. Little quirks or annoyances we didn't notice or ignored earlier on being more into the whole idea of being in a new relationship. When the 'Christmas morning' thing wears off, we see people clearer.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
Many fear being alone again more than they find disagreements in the relationship bothersome. Like how abused partners stay with their abusers rather than leave. Why I've always felt being more self-reliant and learning to be happy 'alone in an empty room' was a good idea. Should never let another person become to deciding factor in our happiness. If not happy on your own you only make yourself dependent upon relationships. And that makes you being used or abused mroe likely.
going to a movie the your partner wants to see is not equivalent to being abused.
my wife and i, for a while were taking turns, each month.
one of us would plan a date without any input from the other.
we had found that trying to come up with shared interests were causing us to simply fail in having dates.
one of her first ones was taking a glass blowing class.
i had no real interest, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after wards, there was wine and cheese and interactions with people different than we would normally meet.
another month, i required that she play an old board game that we played long long ago.
she had no real interest anymore, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after that i surprised her with dinner at a place we had never been to before.
give and take.
What you and others call 'give and take' I call domination and submission.
that is insanely simplistic compared to a real relationship.
Still, why not just leave the relationship (especially if no kids/marriage) - I think that's control.
Let's see how much power I can exert over this person.
Or, maybe, they like them sexually, but just not personally....?
Many fear being alone again more than they find disagreements in the relationship bothersome. Like how abused partners stay with their abusers rather than leave. Why I've always felt being more self-reliant and learning to be happy 'alone in an empty room' was a good idea. Should never let another person become to deciding factor in our happiness. If not happy on your own you only make yourself dependent upon relationships. And that makes you being used or abused mroe likely.
going to a movie the your partner wants to see is not equivalent to being abused.
my wife and i, for a while were taking turns, each month.
one of us would plan a date without any input from the other.
we had found that trying to come up with shared interests were causing us to simply fail in having dates.
one of her first ones was taking a glass blowing class.
i had no real interest, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after wards, there was wine and cheese and interactions with people different than we would normally meet.
another month, i required that she play an old board game that we played long long ago.
she had no real interest anymore, but it was not torture and we enjoyed doing it together.
after that i surprised her with dinner at a place we had never been to before.
give and take.
What you and others call 'give and take' I call domination and submission.
that is insanely simplistic compared to a real relationship.
Humans are distinct from every other animal for how we overcomplicate simple things.
Question -
Is it better to make a sacrifice for someone (and bitch about it later and/or bring it up); or
To just not have made the sacrifice at all?
Question -
Is it better to make a sacrifice for someone (and bitch about it later and/or bring it up); or
To just not have made the sacrifice at all?
I have never made it a practice to ask anybody to sacrifice anything for me, and I appreciate the same courtesy in return.
Don't sacrifice.....Question -
Is it better to make a sacrifice for someone (and bitch about it later and/or bring it up); or
To just not have made the sacrifice at all?
Free chicken dinner....Simply making some guys wait can be considered a sacrifice
making some guys wait for what....?
That's when I show them the door....My theory? Do as I say and nobody gets hurt!
That's when I show them the door....My theory? Do as I say and nobody gets hurt!
Who asked you? Aren't you married anyway? Here you are posting about online dating???
It's a free country assmunch...That's when I show them the door....My theory? Do as I say and nobody gets hurt!
It's a free country assmunch...That's when I show them the door....My theory? Do as I say and nobody gets hurt!
No not the year you twass born.....It's a free country assmunch...That's when I show them the door....My theory? Do as I say and nobody gets hurt!
Well, what do you know about dating? When was the last time you were on a date? 1955?
No not the year you twass born.....It's a free country assmunch...That's when I show them the door....My theory? Do as I say and nobody gets hurt!
Well, what do you know about dating? When was the last time you were on a date? 1955?
Not the year of your first born.....No not the year you twass born.....It's a free country assmunch...That's when I show them the door....
Well, what do you know about dating? When was the last time you were on a date? 1955?
So you haven't been on a date since 1978?
Not the year of your first born.....No not the year you twass born.....It's a free country assmunch...
Well, what do you know about dating? When was the last time you were on a date? 1955?
So you haven't been on a date since 1978?
