Onions and Christmas Trees

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Sep 3, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?"



    Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't...there are all kinds of breasts depending on a woman's age.



    In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.


    In her thirties to forties, they are like pears,...still nice but hanging a bit.


    After fifty, they are like onions."


    "Onions, Dad?"


    "Yeah, you see them and they make you cry".

    Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of weenies are there?"


    The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases.


    In a man's twenties, a man's weenie is like an oak, mighty and hard.


    In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.


    After his fifties, it is like an old Christmas tree."


    "A Christmas tree?"


    "Yep, it's dried up and the balls are only there for decoration.

    There will be days when you don't have a song in your heart,
    .........sing anyway.
     
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  2. HGROKIT
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    HGROKIT Active Member

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    God I hate Christmas trees.
     
  3. JOKER96BRAVO
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    JOKER96BRAVO Senior Member

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    Ok, Ok... I got one
    So this dude Jim boards a plane right, as he is walking to his seat he notices
    that all of the flight attendants are women. He thinks " how cool is this".
    Just when he gets comfy the captain makes the pre-flight announcement
    over the loudspeaker, Jim noticed that the voice was that of a female, so
    as he was ordering his Jack and Coke he asked the flight attendant if
    the captain was indeed a female. She replied "why yes, actually our
    whole staff is made entirely of women". Jim asked " even the co-pilot"???
    " Yes sir said the flight attendant. Jim quickly responded " could you make
    that two Jack and Cokes please, I don't know how I feel about two women
    in the cockpit". The flight attendant shook her head and said "about that sir,
    we don't call it a cockpit anymore. We now call it the box office".
     
  4. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    :rotflmao:
     

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