On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Isle in his Pope mobile when suddenly he notices a frantic commotion just off shore. There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President George W. Bush, quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then using (autographed Round Rock Express) baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now have seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick, "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom." "Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing ... how's the bait holding up?"