*I think the inventor of the pinata may have had some unresolved donkey issues. *It's too bad ignorange isn't painful. *It's only funny 'til someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. *Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet. *I think, therefore I am.....not related to you. *Winning isn't everything--gloating & rubbing it in--that's everything! *I found the perfect man: Mr. Coffee *If people concentrated on the really important stuff in life--there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. *I smile because I'm your mother/father. I laugh because there isn't anything you can do about it. *If your dog doesn't like somebody--you probably shouldn't either. *Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be happier than others. *The second day of a diet is easier. By then, you're off of it. *Don't try to get on my good side. I don't have one. *I started out with nothing. And so far I still have most of it left. *Guys have feeling too. But like--Who cares? *So you're a feminist--isn't that cute. *I'm not being rude....you're just insignificant *If it weren't for physics & law enforcement--I'd be unstopable. *I saw Elvis. He sat between me & Bigfoot on the UFO. *I'm not hard to please. I just like things my way. *Veni, Vendi, Visa I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.