Cecilie1200
Diamond Member
Disclaimer: This is just my own musings and observations and opinions. I am not referencing any particular, specific news stories, studies, or the like. I am just venting what's going around in my head lately.
Some years back, I read a book - can't remember who it was by - that said that the primary role in society that nature had assigned to women was to civilize men. Without that civilizing influence imposed on men by us - presumably on both a personal, individual level and also a society-wide level - they would not and could not harness their aggressive and predatory urges toward positive, productive goals.
At the time, I was offended both on my own behalf and on behalf of men. Being neither liberal nor feminist, I have always quite liked men as a group and in many ways identify with them more often than I do with women. I have never had anything but contempt for leftist feminazi whinings like "All men are potential rapists" and the like. So I was outraged by this statement on several levels. Primarily, though, my reaction was, "How dare you excuse bad male behavior by trying to lay the responsibility off on us? Where do you get off burdening women with essentially babysitting and controlling a bunch of Neanderthals? Men aren't stupid and they're perfectly capable of being civilized for themselves!"
Well, after many more years of life, which has included twenty years of marriage and almost the same amount of time raising sons, as well as revisiting the dating world since my (completely amicable, for those who aren't aware of it) divorce, I have come to a conclusion:
Men are pigs.
It isn't that I don't still like you guys, and it isn't that I've decided you're stupid or incapable of self-civilizing. I've just come to the inescapable conclusion that, generally speaking, you guys won't CHOOSE to do so, and are apparently incapable of understanding why you ought to, absent implacable demands from females that you do so. Left to their own devices, men will inevitably drop to the lowest denominator they can manage to get away with in their behavior.
Think about it.
When someone says the phrase "bachelor pad", you immediately get one of two images in your head: either something resembling the dorm from "Animal House" after a weekend bender, which would require a flamethrower to bring it up to health department standards; or some version of Barney's apartment from "How I Met Your Mother", where everything is geared toward scoring with as many one-night stands as possible and the bed actually rolls away into the wall at the first mention of a relationship from the woman. There is no phrase regarding the home of a single woman which would bring up comparable mental images.
A man moving out of his parents' home for the first time is likely eat SpaghettiOs out of the pot over the sink - or even right out of the can - for the first six months because it simply never occurs to him to purchase dishes. (I'm not exaggerating, folks. I have actually seen this happen many times.) If he owns more than one bath towel, it's because his mother bought them for him. Women, on the other hand, will freak out if they're expected to live for more than one night in a new place without trashcans, towels, dishes, pots and pans, toilet paper, etc. To them, this is the epitome of "roughing it".
And dating. Oh, dear LORD, the truth isn't more striking anywhere than in this arena, thanks to feminists and the "sexual revolution". Turns out it wasn't women's true natures being oppressed and suppressed at all; it was men's. Once upon a time, crude sexual advances were the purview of construction workers and ghetto lowlifes hooting and catcalling at strange women passing on the street. Even lounge lizards on the make in bars felt the need to buy a woman a drink and make some small talk before getting to the point of what they wanted. But now, perfectly ordinary men from all walks of life think it's acceptable to approach a total stranger and, without so much as a how-do-you-do, ask about her masturbatory habits! . . . Or some equivalent outrageous remark that would give their mothers a stroke if they were to hear it.
It is now an event worthy of widespread notice and praise when a man 1) calls to arrange a date with a woman in advance, 2) showers, shaves, and puts on nice clothing for said date, 3) arrives on time, 4) comes to her door to get her rather than simply honking the horn from the driveway or texting he to come out, 5) takes her somewhere nice, and 6) pays for the evening himself without even discussing it. Once upon a time, that was so standard as to not even be mentioned. And if a guy does all that now AND doesn't try to get into her pants at the end of the evening, even if it's the first date, the woman will suspect he's gay.
If I ever remember who that author was, I owe him an apology. We stopped demanding civilization, and you guys reverted to whatever level of barbarian you believed you could get away with.
Feel free to now discuss amongst yourselves.
Some years back, I read a book - can't remember who it was by - that said that the primary role in society that nature had assigned to women was to civilize men. Without that civilizing influence imposed on men by us - presumably on both a personal, individual level and also a society-wide level - they would not and could not harness their aggressive and predatory urges toward positive, productive goals.
At the time, I was offended both on my own behalf and on behalf of men. Being neither liberal nor feminist, I have always quite liked men as a group and in many ways identify with them more often than I do with women. I have never had anything but contempt for leftist feminazi whinings like "All men are potential rapists" and the like. So I was outraged by this statement on several levels. Primarily, though, my reaction was, "How dare you excuse bad male behavior by trying to lay the responsibility off on us? Where do you get off burdening women with essentially babysitting and controlling a bunch of Neanderthals? Men aren't stupid and they're perfectly capable of being civilized for themselves!"
Well, after many more years of life, which has included twenty years of marriage and almost the same amount of time raising sons, as well as revisiting the dating world since my (completely amicable, for those who aren't aware of it) divorce, I have come to a conclusion:
Men are pigs.
It isn't that I don't still like you guys, and it isn't that I've decided you're stupid or incapable of self-civilizing. I've just come to the inescapable conclusion that, generally speaking, you guys won't CHOOSE to do so, and are apparently incapable of understanding why you ought to, absent implacable demands from females that you do so. Left to their own devices, men will inevitably drop to the lowest denominator they can manage to get away with in their behavior.
Think about it.
When someone says the phrase "bachelor pad", you immediately get one of two images in your head: either something resembling the dorm from "Animal House" after a weekend bender, which would require a flamethrower to bring it up to health department standards; or some version of Barney's apartment from "How I Met Your Mother", where everything is geared toward scoring with as many one-night stands as possible and the bed actually rolls away into the wall at the first mention of a relationship from the woman. There is no phrase regarding the home of a single woman which would bring up comparable mental images.
A man moving out of his parents' home for the first time is likely eat SpaghettiOs out of the pot over the sink - or even right out of the can - for the first six months because it simply never occurs to him to purchase dishes. (I'm not exaggerating, folks. I have actually seen this happen many times.) If he owns more than one bath towel, it's because his mother bought them for him. Women, on the other hand, will freak out if they're expected to live for more than one night in a new place without trashcans, towels, dishes, pots and pans, toilet paper, etc. To them, this is the epitome of "roughing it".
And dating. Oh, dear LORD, the truth isn't more striking anywhere than in this arena, thanks to feminists and the "sexual revolution". Turns out it wasn't women's true natures being oppressed and suppressed at all; it was men's. Once upon a time, crude sexual advances were the purview of construction workers and ghetto lowlifes hooting and catcalling at strange women passing on the street. Even lounge lizards on the make in bars felt the need to buy a woman a drink and make some small talk before getting to the point of what they wanted. But now, perfectly ordinary men from all walks of life think it's acceptable to approach a total stranger and, without so much as a how-do-you-do, ask about her masturbatory habits! . . . Or some equivalent outrageous remark that would give their mothers a stroke if they were to hear it.
It is now an event worthy of widespread notice and praise when a man 1) calls to arrange a date with a woman in advance, 2) showers, shaves, and puts on nice clothing for said date, 3) arrives on time, 4) comes to her door to get her rather than simply honking the horn from the driveway or texting he to come out, 5) takes her somewhere nice, and 6) pays for the evening himself without even discussing it. Once upon a time, that was so standard as to not even be mentioned. And if a guy does all that now AND doesn't try to get into her pants at the end of the evening, even if it's the first date, the woman will suspect he's gay.
If I ever remember who that author was, I owe him an apology. We stopped demanding civilization, and you guys reverted to whatever level of barbarian you believed you could get away with.
Feel free to now discuss amongst yourselves.