Men are just happier people

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Jan 27, 2010.

  1. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    What do you expect from such simple creatures?
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can never be pregnant.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress £2000. Morning-suit rental-£100.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    No wonder men are happier.

    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. ..........None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. ..........She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes. ......There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
    SO, Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
     
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  2. Modbert
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    Modbert Daydream Believer Supporting Member

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    Being a man is sure great.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rL9ihXiFAko]YouTube - Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta[/ame]
     
  3. Mr Clean
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    Mr Clean Gold Member

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    Yeah, but women can have sex whenever they want.
     
  4. Modbert
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    Modbert Daydream Believer Supporting Member

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    True, but doesn't mean the guy they pick to have it with would be any good. :lol:
     
  5. Dis
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    Dis Guest

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    See red... :eusa_whistle:
     
  6. rightwinger
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    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Well put.....good post
     
  7. paperview
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    paperview Life is Good

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    Who says a guy has to be involved?
     
  8. Samson
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    Samson Póg Mo Thóin Supporting Member

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    I wouldn't say they're happier.

    But I would say that they just don't care....biologically, we're supposed to die at about age 40....after that we're all just waiting, and anything that happens to break the monotany is just entertainment.
     
  9. Modbert
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    Modbert Daydream Believer Supporting Member

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    Very true. I figured Mr. Clean was talking about getting any guy. :lol:
     
  10. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    I am with you on this one, there are a few guys on here that prove that they are moody quite often.
     

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