lets avoid a flamewar but discuss spanking your kids

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by blu, Apr 25, 2010.

  1. blu
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    blu Senior Member

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    I have flip flopped on this issue in the past, but think I firm in my beliefs on it now. Personally I think that spanking is acceptable until the kid is old enough to reason for themselves that what they are doing is wrong. Obviously since this has to do with maturity and reasoning skills the exact age the spankings would stop changes. Before the reasoning age kids really don't have enough mental ability to get how what they are doing effects others enough for them to stop doing it.

    After this age I find "mental" punishment to be much more effective than physical. For instance with my step-son instead of any spanking when he does something wrong, we make him write notes/letters about how what he did affects others negatively and how it have others change their thoughts on him (like when he lies we can't trust him etc). These punishments seem to have a much longer lasting effect and actually cause him to reason why hes doing whats wrong instead of just fearing a quick spanking whose pain will go away shortly after.
     
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  2. DiamondDave
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    DiamondDave Army Vet

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    I have spanked a few times... usually way back when they were still in diapers... when the sound and shock is more than any pain feeling they get

    I think it is something that can put a child in their place... I have seen the result of the 'friend' parents, and I would never want that
     
  3. blu
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    blu Senior Member

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    yea the "friend" parent is insane to me, it usually comes from a weak parent who can't take it if anyone is mad at them or upset with them. I don't think kids should be afraid of their parents but their should definitely be a level of respect more than "buddy buddy"
     
  4. rightwinger
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    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Spanking just wasn't my style, but I could see the value in it if it done right. As a quick correction for a young child, it still is one of the best forms of discipline.
    The formal, "I'm going to take my belt off and give you a whoop'n" that I used to see as a kid just don't seem to be effective.
    When I was a kid, if a parent didn't spank, they were not looked at as good parents. If a kid acted up in public, people expected to see the kid spanked on the spot.... Now they call the cops
     
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  5. Madeline
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    Madeline BANNED

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    Parenting behaviors seem to come in and out of fashion like the mini-skirt in America. Spanking is only one such fashion accessory for the parent to select. It's preposterous at times, this goofy insistence that we all "do the wave" and adopt or adapt parenting behaviors en masse because some media bullshit artiste' has thought it Time To Change That.

    In my own lifetime, I have seen the following:

    Never breast feed. Bottle feed only on a rigid schedule
    TV will make your kid a deliquent
    Spank your neighbor's kid
    Kids should do chores
    The teacher is always right
    Tattling on kids is good
    Never bottle feed
    Childbirth is not a medical procedure
    Placenta soup recipes
    Family beds
    Spanking will make your kid a deliquent
    Teachers are never right
    Grades are just suggestions
    Ignore the kid's bad behavior and it will stop
    Privacy rights for kids -- in their homes
    All kids get sociopathic thataway sometimes -- it's normal
    Kids should never have five or more continuous minutes of "down time"

    And on and on, ad nauseum.

    Spanking a kid is neither good nor bad. If it suits you, as a parent and it suits the kid, then by all means, spank. If it makes your skin crawl, don't.

    O, and BTW, just about any form of discipline beats that "ignore the kid's bad behavior and it will stop" theory, hands down. Laizze-faire parenting is not great for most kids, nor those of us who have to live with them.



     
  6. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    The absolute worst punishment that my parents ever inflicted on me was to separate me and my twin brother. We HATED being separated.... still do.
     
  7. Vast LWC
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    Vast LWC <-Mohammed

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    I haven't had any need to spank yet. But I think it is appropriate in some cases, like when a truly dangerous situation occurs and you need to make really, really sure it doesn't happen again.

    In almost all cases, other methods are certainly effective, but there are those very rare occasions where it's definitely called for.
     
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  8. blu
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    blu Senior Member

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    how old is your kid(s)? I do definitely agree with dangerous situations especially with younger kids.
     
  9. Gatekeeper
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    Gatekeeper Senior Member

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    How about Waterboarding, with-in reason of course?

    I know, some are saying, "There's always one"
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2010
  10. blu
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    blu Senior Member

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    they did that instead of spanking?
     

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