lets avoid a flamewar but discuss spanking your kids

[blu]

I think any parent who spanks out of anger is wrong. This doesn't mean I don't think a child should be spanked.

any discipline out of pure anger is wrong

 

[Big Fitz]

Playing with one of my friends' two year old one day, I asked him:

"What do you say if Mommy yells at you to stop?"

He looked at me, all wide-eyed and innocent.

"I want my lawyer!"

Mommy gave me the Look of Evil, and then we both laughed till we nearly peed ourselves

But the REASON it was funny is just wretched.

Robin Williams in "Live at the Met" did this joke:

"And I can't spank him anymore. I go to spank him and he says 'You hit me, and I'll write a book!!... and I know where the trust fund is!'"

 

[Terry]

I think any parent who spanks out of anger is wrong. This doesn't mean I don't think a child should be spanked.

Of course, when done in anger it crosses the line and is just plain stupid. Eventually in many cases it would result in alienating your own children, plus pass on the insanity to their children.

That's what I said but in short.

 

[nraforlife]

I have flip flopped on this issue in the past, but think I firm in my beliefs on it now. Personally I think that spanking is acceptable until the kid is old enough to reason for themselves that what they are doing is wrong. Obviously since this has to do with maturity and reasoning skills the exact age the spankings would stop changes. Before the reasoning age kids really don't have enough mental ability to get how what they are doing effects others enough for them to stop doing it.

After this age I find "mental" punishment to be much more effective than physical. For instance with my step-son instead of any spanking when he does something wrong, we make him write notes/letters about how what he did affects others negatively and how it have others change their thoughts on him (like when he lies we can't trust him etc). These punishments seem to have a much longer lasting effect and actually cause him to reason why hes doing whats wrong instead of just fearing a quick spanking whose pain will go away shortly after.

There are times when spanking (spanking NOT a bar fight style beating) is NECESSARY with some kids simply due to their short event horizons regarding consequences. Young males in particular MUST have a nagging certainty that Dad aka legit authority can kick their butt to the curb at need in ANY confrontation right upto the time they become TRULY economically self-sufficient. This is how young males are turned into Men. Girls are different . I would never swat one past the age of 5 or 6. With them it is more important to build a sense of self-worth sufficient that they can wait for a Man and not just some feral young male. Now if MOMMA needs to backhand an attitude of Proper Respect into them THAT is her bidness.

 

[Big Fitz]

I think any parent who spanks out of anger is wrong. This doesn't mean I don't think a child should be spanked.

any discipline out of pure anger is wrong

Do you consider frustration anger? I ask because I can't recall a parent who spanked who wasn't frustrated by the reason for punishment.

 

[Terry]

I wish corporal punishment was still in our Schools. I know with the threat of that big hole paddle it kept me in line a lot. I did get that paddle one time and it really did help me.

 

[Gatekeeper]

I wish corporal punishment was still in our Schools. I know with the threat of that big hole paddle it kept me in line a lot. I did get that paddle one time and it really did help me.

Yes I remember those days when being tied by the gym coach to a chain link fence upside down in gym class for taking a short cut across the 'grinder', then fire hosed for 2 minutes while reciting "I will not take short cuts again"..........NOT, it sounded good though.

I do however remember the 'ruler slap', I never saw those nuns coming, I think they had an invisibility cloak at times.

 

[tigerbob]

I remember being caned on more than one occasion at boarding school. First time it happened was when I was about 10. It hurt for a few minutes, but the shame of it lasted longer than the pain. That was what made it a deterrent.

 

[Modbert]

I wish corporal punishment was still in our Schools. I know with the threat of that big hole paddle it kept me in line a lot. I did get that paddle one time and it really did help me.

All punishment like the paddle does is make you grow to fear authority instead of respecting it. A bunch of people in society who merely fear authority is a society on the edge and not good.

 

[Conspiracist]

My father would tell us we were getting our spanking before bedtime. We could go several hours with business as usual around the house then came the spanking.

Pretty messed up, but effective. I often wondered if we were his captive experiments lol.

 

[Luissa]

My parents spanked me, and only had to do it once in awhile, mostly because I had the fear in me. I just knew what would happen, and that was enough. I will spank my son, and I have tapped him on his diaper covered butt, and like someone else said you don't have to do it to where it hurts. I can tap my son on the butt, and there is no way it hurt him, but he knows he is in trouble.
My son also has a high pain tolerance, so I don't know how well spanking will work when he gets older.

Do you have a plan to end it at a certain age like I discussed in the OP or whats your thoughts on that?

I don't have a plan to end it at a certain age, my parents stopped spanking me when I was about ten. My dad did spank me once when I was twelve, but I am sure I deserved it.

I also don't plan on using that method often, for one they will become immune to it. My parents didn't do it all the time, because they knew we would fear it more. I will also add, besides the normal kid stuff I was a well behaved child.

 

[Luissa]

My brother and I were jumping on my bed and ripped the light fixture out of the ceiling, breaking it all over my bed while my parents were at work. My brother knew we were going to get it, so he stuffed his underwear full of socks. When my dad got home, he thought it was so funny what my brother did, we didn't get spanked.
I think by then, my parents were so used to stuff get broke while my sister watched us, they didn't bother to get that mad. They did have one rule, no playing hide and seek in the house, too many closet doors were broken.

 

[Gatekeeper]

My parents spanked me, and only had to do it once in awhile, mostly because I had the fear in me. I just knew what would happen, and that was enough. I will spank my son, and I have tapped him on his diaper covered butt, and like someone else said you don't have to do it to where it hurts. I can tap my son on the butt, and there is no way it hurt him, but he knows he is in trouble.
My son also has a high pain tolerance, so I don't know how well spanking will work when he gets older.

Do you have a plan to end it at a certain age like I discussed in the OP or whats your thoughts on that?

I don't have a plan to end it at a certain age, my parents stopped spanking me when I was about ten. My dad did spank me once when I was twelve, but I am sure I deserved it.

I also don't plan on using that method often, for one they will become immune to it. My parents didn't do it all the time, because they knew we would fear it more. I will also add, besides the normal kid stuff I was a well behaved child.

Well, truth be told, my wife now spanks me, and I am 60'xx years old. but I am such a bad boy you understand. I just had to say it.......I have to keep laughing today, a new week is coming in a few hours!

 

[Luissa]

I liked to be spanked now, also.

 

[Gatekeeper]

I liked to be spanked now, also.

I just came to after reading that, where am I ? Someone spank me so I know I am alive.

 

[blu]

My father would tell us we were getting our spanking before bedtime. We could go several hours with business as usual around the house then came the spanking.

Pretty messed up, but effective. I often wondered if we were his captive experiments lol.

haha thats awful. I would beg to just get it over with quickly, it probably would take the taste out of dinner

 

[blu]

I think any parent who spanks out of anger is wrong. This doesn't mean I don't think a child should be spanked.

any discipline out of pure anger is wrong

Do you consider frustration anger? I ask because I can't recall a parent who spanked who wasn't frustrated by the reason for punishment.

being legitimately frustrated/disappointed in your kid is normal.

 

[blu]

I wish corporal punishment was still in our Schools. I know with the threat of that big hole paddle it kept me in line a lot. I did get that paddle one time and it really did help me.

All punishment like the paddle does is make you grow to fear authority instead of respecting it. A bunch of people in society who merely fear authority is a society on the edge and not good.

yes I agree with this too, especially in older kids, it just breeds 'ill do it if I won't get caught'

 

[blu]

I wish corporal punishment was still in our Schools. I know with the threat of that big hole paddle it kept me in line a lot. I did get that paddle one time and it really did help me.

most kids past 1 or 2 grade shouldn't be getting spanked. also, I don't trust teachers enough unless I knew them very well, I assume the corporal punishment at school stuff came from small communities though were the parent's really did know the teacher/grew up with them. I have seen too many power tripping teachers who would love to smack kids and I wouldn't put my kid throught hat.

 

[Big Fitz]

I liked to be spanked now, also.

I can't KNOW this! Don't SAY that!