lets avoid a flamewar but discuss spanking your kids

[DiamondDave]

I wish corporal punishment was still in our Schools. I know with the threat of that big hole paddle it kept me in line a lot. I did get that paddle one time and it really did help me.

All punishment like the paddle does is make you grow to fear authority instead of respecting it. A bunch of people in society who merely fear authority is a society on the edge and not good.

Yeah.. you are DEFINITELY wet behind the ears and have Similac on the breath... if you had any real life experience or experience with parenting, you would know how stupid you sound

 

[DiamondDave]

My father would tell us we were getting our spanking before bedtime. We could go several hours with business as usual around the house then came the spanking.

Pretty messed up, but effective. I often wondered if we were his captive experiments lol.

haha thats awful. I would beg to just get it over with quickly, it probably would take the taste out of dinner

You think that anticipation is bad?? Try having to choose and cut your own switch that you will receive the whippin' with

 

[blu]

My father would tell us we were getting our spanking before bedtime. We could go several hours with business as usual around the house then came the spanking.

Pretty messed up, but effective. I often wondered if we were his captive experiments lol.

haha thats awful. I would beg to just get it over with quickly, it probably would take the taste out of dinner

You think that anticipation is bad?? Try having to choose and cut your own switch that you will receive the whippin' with

yea thats a little over the top and sadistic

 

[chanel]

I never did. Not because of any pop psychology but because its just not me. My husband didn't either because he knew his own strength. Sometimes I wish we had. Our kids adore us and respect us but do not fear us. On a few occasions we have grounded them and they went out anyway. What to do then? I've asked my students how they are disciplined and they look at me like I'm speaking Greek. Punishment?

What do y'all do with teenagers?

 

[blu]

I never did. Not because of any pop psychology but because its just not me. My husband didn't either because he knew his own strength. Sometimes I wish we had. Our kids adore us and respect us but do not fear us. On a few occasions we have grounded them and they went out anyway. What to do then? I've asked my students how they are disciplined and they look at me like I'm speaking Greek. Punishment?

What do y'all do with teenagers?

there needs to be a fear of something whether its parents, punishment, guilt, etc. obviously the best is fear of yourself, meaning going against your own values will make you feel truly bad, or that you cherish your relationship & trust bond with your parents and family and that going out after being punished for example will break that.
Before that bond & self-value is set, then fear would be the next best thing.

 

[Samson]

Do you have a plan to end it at a certain age like I discussed in the OP or whats your thoughts on that?

I don't have a plan to end it at a certain age, my parents stopped spanking me when I was about ten. My dad did spank me once when I was twelve, but I am sure I deserved it.

I also don't plan on using that method often, for one they will become immune to it. My parents didn't do it all the time, because they knew we would fear it more. I will also add, besides the normal kid stuff I was a well behaved child.

Well, truth be told, my wife now spanks me, and I am 60'xx years old. but I am such a bad boy you understand. I just had to say it.......I have to keep laughing today, a new week is coming in a few hours!

TMI

 

[Samson]

The problem is, that parents have been told that corporal punishment is BAD.

Of course, the only parenting method used on many of these parents was corporal punishment.

While they've been told what NOT to do, they haven't been told what they SHOULD do.

So they end up raising snotty little bullies, that niether fear or respect their parents.

IMHO, parents need to instill a little fear in their children. Kids need to be SURE that there is a line, where it is, and that if it is crossed, SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN!!

Warnings will be issued
Time Outs will be ordered
TV's and Video Games will be confiscated
and YES, they may be SPANKED!!

 

[blu]

The problem is, that parents have been told that corporal punishment is BAD.

Of course, the only parenting method used on many of these parents was corporal punishment.

While they've been told what NOT to do, they haven't been told what they SHOULD do.

So they end up raising snotty little bullies, that niether fear or respect their parents.

IMHO, parents need to instill a little fear in their children. Kids need to be SURE that there is a line, where it is, and that if it is crossed, SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN!!

Warnings will be issued
Time Outs will be ordered
TV's and Video Games will be confiscated
and YES, they may be SPANKED!!

sadly the bold one is the worst for my step-son, he literally counts down days til he has them back. I do notice that he gets a lot more reading done when its away though

 

[Samson]

The problem is, that parents have been told that corporal punishment is BAD.

Of course, the only parenting method used on many of these parents was corporal punishment.

While they've been told what NOT to do, they haven't been told what they SHOULD do.

So they end up raising snotty little bullies, that niether fear or respect their parents.

IMHO, parents need to instill a little fear in their children. Kids need to be SURE that there is a line, where it is, and that if it is crossed, SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN!!

Warnings will be issued
Time Outs will be ordered
TV's and Video Games will be confiscated
and YES, they may be SPANKED!!

sadly the bold one is the worst for my step-son, he literally counts down days til he has them back. I do notice that he gets a lot more reading done when its away though

You're damn lucky.

The tough ones are those that don't care about anything, including video games, or getting spanked.

 

[Zoom-boing]

Spanking when they were little happened. Not overly often but it did happen. With my son (special needs) he would fly into rages/fits and we literally had to bear-hug restrain him until he calmed down.

My 13 yr old daughter has learned the worst from her brother. Feet slamming, talking back, the 'I'm gonna call the cops' (my son used to call 911 when things didn't go his way )

What works with the 13 year old is absolute zero tolerance for back talking and the like. One warning, that's it, do it again and boom, grounded from the computer. She was doing lousy in school in the fall (decided to emulate her friend and just not do the work; ended up failing and/or getting extremely low grades in 4 classes). She was grounded off the computer for about 6 weeks for that. Her grades are fine now, near honor roll. Emulate her friend my ass.

We initially had to ground her from the computer for 1-2 weeks at a time because 1-2 days didn't have any effect. Now? We can do a few days grounding and it works because it's immediate. Oh, the computer isn't in her room it's in the living room, password protected, she doesn't know the password. She does not have a cell phone (not needed), and she does not have a tv in her room (not needed). None of our kids had/have these things in their rooms. If grounding off the computer doesn't work, the basement is made off limits, which means no tv, no Wii, no basement computer (no internet down there).

Be consistent, say what you mean, mean what you say and stick with the punishment . . . even if they are all nice and sweet later on. Especially if they are all nice and sweet after have they've had a good dinner. Oy.

 

[Samson]

Be consistent, say what you mean, mean what you say and stick with the punishment . . . even if they are all nice and sweet later on. Especially if they are all nice and sweet after have they've had a good dinner. Oy.

There's always jail.

 

[blu]

Spanking when they were little happened. Not overly often but it did happen. With my son (special needs) he would fly into rages/fits and we literally had to bear-hug restrain him until he calmed down.

My 13 yr old daughter has learned the worst from her brother. Feet slamming, talking back, the 'I'm gonna call the cops' (my son used to call 911 when things didn't go his way )

What works with the 13 year old is absolute zero tolerance for back talking and the like. One warning, that's it, do it again and boom, grounded from the computer. She was doing lousy in school in the fall (decided to emulate her friend and just not do the work; ended up failing and/or getting extremely low grades in 4 classes). She was grounded off the computer for about 6 weeks for that. Her grades are fine now, near honor roll. Emulate her friend my ass.

We initially had to ground her from the computer for 1-2 weeks at a time because 1-2 days didn't have any effect. Now? We can do a few days grounding and it works because it's immediate. Oh, the computer isn't in her room it's in the living room, password protected, she doesn't know the password. She does not have a cell phone (not needed), and she does not have a tv in her room (not needed). None of our kids had/have these things in their rooms. If grounding off the computer doesn't work, the basement is made off limits, which means no tv, no Wii, no basement computer (no internet down there).

Be consistent, say what you mean, mean what you say and stick with the punishment . . . even if they are all nice and sweet later on. Especially if they are all nice and sweet after have they've had a good dinner. Oy.

@ no tv. I didn't have one til junior year of high school in my room and I plan the same for my stepson and any future kids. Not so much on the computers though, we are far too nerdy. We probably have 4 desktops and 2 laptops between 3 of us in a 3br house, although since my stepson is only 8 he doesn't have one in his room yet. I do imagine he will have one in a year or two though because I have been teaching him to program and network admin stuff and I hope to get him into computer security shortly after that.

 

[Big Fitz]

I never did. Not because of any pop psychology but because its just not me. My husband didn't either because he knew his own strength. Sometimes I wish we had. Our kids adore us and respect us but do not fear us. On a few occasions we have grounded them and they went out anyway. What to do then? I've asked my students how they are disciplined and they look at me like I'm speaking Greek. Punishment?

What do y'all do with teenagers?

Teens? Welcome to the wonderful world of "Grounding" and loss of privileges.

 

[logical4u]

I never did. Not because of any pop psychology but because its just not me. My husband didn't either because he knew his own strength. Sometimes I wish we had. Our kids adore us and respect us but do not fear us. On a few occasions we have grounded them and they went out anyway. What to do then? I've asked my students how they are disciplined and they look at me like I'm speaking Greek. Punishment?

What do y'all do with teenagers?

Teach them about punishment before they are teenagers.

 

[Samson]

I never did. Not because of any pop psychology but because its just not me. My husband didn't either because he knew his own strength. Sometimes I wish we had. Our kids adore us and respect us but do not fear us. On a few occasions we have grounded them and they went out anyway. What to do then? I've asked my students how they are disciplined and they look at me like I'm speaking Greek. Punishment?

What do y'all do with teenagers?

Read:

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Your-Teen-Crazy-Without/dp/0936197447/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272244076&sr=1-1"]Yes, Your Teenager is Crazy!: Loving your kid without losing your mind.[/ame]

 

[logical4u]

My Dad would tell us to stop doing something twice. Then you would hear a quiet voice "line up". It didn't matter if you were boy, girl, relative, or not, if you were a participant, you got cracked with his belt (Sunday's thin leather belt was worse). My Dad did not discrimminate (he did pay attention to size and age, little ones got the noise, not the pain).

I used spankings occasionally. It was more of a group thing (if you participate as a group, you all got the same spanking). Loud scolding, tight holding (for tantrums), setting timers, time out, and withholding wanted items or not attending events were all used (each child was different). By the time they were teenagers, my job was easy. I have been very blessed.

The best thing I ever did for them was told them I would be the bad guy: if they didn't want to do something and needed a way out, they could tell them that I was mean and they weren't allowed.
One used it to avoid a date.
One used it to avoid a non-stop talker that wanted to spend the day.
One used it not to go to a party at fourteen where there would be drinking and drugs.
I now have a reputation as a mean parent. I am so proud.

 

[Samson]

I have been very blessed.


I now have a reputation as a mean parent. I am so proud.

You're right.

I'd say the traditional methods you've described worked with 66% of kids.

The other 34% are a real bitch.

 

[Madeline]

I think any parent who spanks out of anger is wrong. This doesn't mean I don't think a child should be spanked.

Of course, when done in anger it crosses the line and is just plain stupid. Eventually in many cases it would result in alienating your own children, plus pass on the insanity to their children.

That's what I said but in short.

In my opinion, this is more "do the wave" horsehit. You think parents who ground their kids don't "do it in anger"? Or the ones who sit them on the Naughty Spot? Give me a break.

The kid can live through knowing he pissed off his folks. I happen to think it's good for the little guys and gals. Sure was for me -- I pissed my folks off at least once a week as a kidlet.

Anger at your kids that they MAY suspect you are feeling is not Emotional Abuse. Spanking whilst angry is not Child Abuse. God knows, we gets examples of that sick shit every day on our local news.

And yanno? It won't hurt a kid to see that angry people can be trusted to remain in control and safe to be around. There's a bit too many "ragers" in this world and I think one reason is, no one ever modeled the notion of MODERATION for them. Just a theory of mine......

 

[chanel]

The problem is, that parents have been told that corporal punishment is BAD.

Of course, the only parenting method used on many of these parents was corporal punishment.

While they've been told what NOT to do, they haven't been told what they SHOULD do.

So they end up raising snotty little bullies, that niether fear or respect their parents.

IMHO, parents need to instill a little fear in their children. Kids need to be SURE that there is a line, where it is, and that if it is crossed, SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN!!

Warnings will be issued
Time Outs will be ordered
TV's and Video Games will be confiscated
and YES, they may be SPANKED!!

sadly the bold one is the worst for my step-son, he literally counts down days til he has them back. I do notice that he gets a lot more reading done when its away though

Good plan blu. Time out was a biggie for our kids when they were young. What I did was filled their rooms with books and NO TOYS! Both of my boys were reading before Kindergarten.

Fortunately my kids don't do half the stuff my husband and I did when we were teenagers. I guess I should count my blessings.

My younger son gets his license next week. Car keys may be an option.

Just read this:

The UK will come under increasing pressure to ban all smacking and corporal punishment of children as the European human rights body steps up pressure for a change in the law.

The Council of Europe – which monitors compliance with the European convention on human rights – will criticise the UK because it has not banned smacking more than 10 years after a ruling in 1998 that the practice could violate children's rights against inhuman and degrading treatment.

"The UK is one of the countries that has not yet implemented a full ban. In part, this is because the traditional parent-child relationship in the UK is one of authority [and] state intervention into family affairs is still not welcome," she added.

Europe presses UK to introduce total ban on smacking children | World news | The Guardian

Coming to the the U.S.?

 

[Madeline]

Spanking when they were little happened. Not overly often but it did happen. With my son (special needs) he would fly into rages/fits and we literally had to bear-hug restrain him until he calmed down.

My 13 yr old daughter has learned the worst from her brother. Feet slamming, talking back, the 'I'm gonna call the cops' (my son used to call 911 when things didn't go his way )

What works with the 13 year old is absolute zero tolerance for back talking and the like. One warning, that's it, do it again and boom, grounded from the computer. She was doing lousy in school in the fall (decided to emulate her friend and just not do the work; ended up failing and/or getting extremely low grades in 4 classes). She was grounded off the computer for about 6 weeks for that. Her grades are fine now, near honor roll. Emulate her friend my ass.

We initially had to ground her from the computer for 1-2 weeks at a time because 1-2 days didn't have any effect. Now? We can do a few days grounding and it works because it's immediate. Oh, the computer isn't in her room it's in the living room, password protected, she doesn't know the password. She does not have a cell phone (not needed), and she does not have a tv in her room (not needed). None of our kids had/have these things in their rooms. If grounding off the computer doesn't work, the basement is made off limits, which means no tv, no Wii, no basement computer (no internet down there).

Be consistent, say what you mean, mean what you say and stick with the punishment . . . even if they are all nice and sweet later on. Especially if they are all nice and sweet after have they've had a good dinner. Oy.

Parenting is difficult at best, a trip to Hell at its worst. It would help if babies came with instructions. This post should be tattooed on the bare ass of every newborn in Ameica.