Caution Largely second person rant follows . . . There is a right way. There is a wrong way. gray areas kill. Middle of the road, double line walkers get crushed by high speed travelers whooshing by in the right and left lanes, or their hearts mortally break over their lifelong failure to trade ignominy for the narcissistic infamy of clinically indifferent open-mindedness. So . . . You are a true believer in post-Enlightenment radical leftism. You want the ultimate freedom to indulge any pleasure, no matter how sexually perverse or violently depicted, or harmful to others—even kids, or in defiance of immutable truths without taking on the burden of personal responsibility, and the consequences of behavior you know deep down below your liver, is damn ugly, foolish and wrong—like primordially wrong. You identify with a group, not as an individual. As a member of your chosen group or groups you have the (superior, you believe) ability to claim victimhood as long as your chosen group can be politicized as victimized. Why do you want to be a member of a victim group? Because dork, you've done nothing at all in your damn life's history even the most bleeding heart hippie could stand calling you a victim for—on your own, as an individual, that is. You sure as hell weren't born into poverty, right? Your skin color is also wrong for declaring your status as an oppressed minority, and oh no, you are male. So much for claiming victim's status for weakness of biological sex at birth. But wait you, just wait. See, you can still be a victim. How you ask? Here's how, dork. Get a load of this, won't you? You can join a group. Joining an identity group and sacrificing your individual persona, is step one. Believe it. Step two, hell, just change your biological sex, yeah? So what if you were born male, 6'6" and broad shouldered. Just step right up and declare to the right political activist group (grass roots one is even better) that you are now female. What? Yeah, it really is that damned easy. Because you know, according to the postmodernists, biological sex and human nature are nothing more than a social construct constructed to oppress women, duh—and you're a woman now, yes? Congratulations, now you can officially declare victimhood, and no one in hell or on the earth can touch you or talk bad about you without consequences for their entire life. Don't want to go the man--->woman route you say? No worries. Try this on, you. Just quit your job. I'm serious. Quite your job and commit a petty crime. Nothing too criminal now, you don't want to join the incarcerated victim's group, do you? So you've quit your job. You've committed a small crime. Guess what? now you can join the poverty group! Hells yeah. Welcome aboard, you'll be a victim for life. Oh, I get it. You actually like money, huh? Have no fear, we can still make you a quality victim with some cash in hand. You'll see. Here's how we'll do it. Claim you're really an ethnic minority. Yes you can. Yes, really you can do that. I am not Sh***ing you. What you do is, yeah I know you look white, but they won't care. Just act like they do, maybe learn their lingo, date one of their women, blend in. Poof! Now, at long last, you are a victim too. So the whole change your race thing didn't work out? Never fear, postmodern Marxism is here. See the 'M' on my chest and the red cape? Kick ass, huh? Okay, so here's what we'll do. You're a Christian right? And you want to be a victim? Why didn't you just ask? I'll show you how to be the ultimate victim, brother. What you got to do is, is this: Go out and tell the world God doesn't exist. Got it so far? Good. Now, after you got the other Christians in an uproar over your disbelief in the most ancient of wisdom, you start talking to them about how their God abused your life. Yeah, genius I know but you better hurry, because this path to victimization is really hot popular right now. So after you've convinced them their God doesn't exist, yet somehow abused you're life and like is super evil and out of style, you can join the atheist victim's group and be the ultimate victim of (a God they say) doesn't exist, yet somehow kills people—lots of them—like, to death, unlike Marxists whose bowel movements produce flowers and unicorns and sh*t. Still not finding your cup of hemlock tea on the altar of radical leftism? Look below, I am certain you'll find something that fits you well and is sure to gain you membership to a victim identity group. As a woman, become a man (men are quite the victims these days, see #metoo) As a Christian become a Muslim As a thinker become a martyr As a law abider become a law breaker As a gun owner become a gun taker As a cop become a perpetrator (shoe polish helps) As a conservative become a liberal As a doer become a couch potato As an outdoorsman become an indoors-man As an honest person become a liar As believer in God become an atheist (you'll go far) As a pro-lifer, become a pro-life taker (dark gods will love you) As a man who respects women become a sadist (make porn, you'll be a great victim with that terminal STD) As STEM major become a sociology major (make sure they teach you fake and fabricated social history) As a person with integrity, flush it down the toilet bowl and go for broke—hey, because you probably will be. As a single person, found a cult, rule with a rabid mob, start a revolution, take out a few hundred million folks As a do-gooder become anti-authority As patriot become a traitor If one of the above shoes fit, throw it away.