Ladies of USMB.... A hypothetical conundrum for ya....

[goldcatt]

I would choose a. I think c is making it more complicated than it needs to be at this point.

You forget he's a friend of a family member. It starts getting complicated right there.

Love is complicated======jump in !

unless you live in the Appalachians

And instead of a friend of a family member, it IS a family member.

 

[LuckyDan]

I say GO FOR IT!

Don't look at the dinner in a romantic/sexual/relationship sort of way. Just keep an open mind and go for it! No need to talk anything about your recent past unless of course HE brings it up. Just enjoy his company, live in the moment ( not the past or the future ) and make the most out of the time you do spend with him!

You are correct, madame.

He asked for dinner. Have dinner. Enjoy. If he doesn't mind the drive, why should you worry about it?

Go out and have some fun.

 

[dilloduck]

You forget he's a friend of a family member. It starts getting complicated right there.

True, but c sort of comes with an assumption that would make me feel a little awkward. It's on him, just as much as her, not to set expectations at this stage.

You've got a point. Now y'all have me thinking. Details, I need more details!

Beard--no beard
Shirt--no shirt
Important crap like that !

 

[xotoxi]

Ladies of USMB.... A hypothetical conundrum for ya...

I know I'm not a lady, but I have small manboobs, so I think I can answer your question.

"C".

That is the correct answer.

 

[goldcatt]

True, but c sort of comes with an assumption that would make me feel a little awkward. It's on him, just as much as her, not to set expectations at this stage.

You've got a point. Now y'all have me thinking. Details, I need more details!

Beard--no beard
Shirt--no shirt
Important crap like that !

No shirt and driving 2 hours for "dinner" would be a bad sign.

 

[goldcatt]

You forget he's a friend of a family member. It starts getting complicated right there.

True, but c sort of comes with an assumption that would make me feel a little awkward. It's on him, just as much as her, not to set expectations at this stage.

You've got a point. Now y'all have me thinking. Details, I need more details!

Nope, I thought about it and without more facts to go on I'm going to stick with c. The fact that b is even a realistic option means there's something about the situation that makes her uncomfortable. Without more to go on I have no idea what, but why else even think of turning it down? If they know each other relatively well already there's nothing wrong with addressing whatever that is - tactfully, of course.

 

[Zoom-boing]

My hubs and I were a blind date, fixed up by my girlfriend and a guy he went to high school with. They had met a a party and started dating and tried for several months to get us together. He wasn't interested and I had just broken up with someone and was absolutely, positively not interested in getting into another relationship. I wanted to just 'be' for awhile. After a few months of badgering from our friends we both said 'ok, I'll meet this person' just so our friends would leave us alone. We just celebrated our 23 wedding anniversary. All I can say is . . . you just never know.

 

[strollingbones]

I would choose a. I think c is making it more complicated than it needs to be at this point.

You forget he's a friend of a family member. It starts getting complicated right there.

Love is complicated======jump in !

unless you live in the Appalachians

i see that, duckie.

 

[California Girl]

True, but c sort of comes with an assumption that would make me feel a little awkward. It's on him, just as much as her, not to set expectations at this stage.

You've got a point. Now y'all have me thinking. Details, I need more details!

Nope, I thought about it and without more facts to go on I'm going to stick with c. The fact that b is even a realistic option means there's something about the situation that makes her uncomfortable. Without more to go on I have no idea what, but why else even think of turning it down? If they know each other relatively well already there's nothing wrong with addressing whatever that is - tactfully, of course.

B is just because I know the guy. I'd prefer not to complicate things cuz I like him. We did have lunch together a week or so ago.... but that was just a spur of the moment thing.

Right now, I'm leaning towards saying 'ok' and saying he can stay here.

 

[goldcatt]

You've got a point. Now y'all have me thinking. Details, I need more details!

Nope, I thought about it and without more facts to go on I'm going to stick with c. The fact that b is even a realistic option means there's something about the situation that makes her uncomfortable. Without more to go on I have no idea what, but why else even think of turning it down? If they know each other relatively well already there's nothing wrong with addressing whatever that is - tactfully, of course.

B is just because I know the guy. I'd prefer not to complicate things cuz I like him. We did have lunch together a week or so ago.... but that was just a spur of the moment thing.

Right now, I'm leaning towards saying 'ok' and saying he can stay here.

Well hell, in that case I change my vote to a. Actually liking him isn't a complication, just an added bonus.

 

[xotoxi]

My hubs and I were a blind date, fixed up by my girlfriend and a guy he went to high school with. They had met a a party and started dating and tried for several months to get us together. He wasn't interested and I had just broken up with someone and was absolutely, positively not interested in getting into another relationship. I wanted to just 'be' for awhile. After a few months of badgering from our friends we both said 'ok, I'll meet this person' just so our friends would leave us alone. We just celebrated our 23 wedding anniversary. All I can say is . . . you just never know.

California Girl's getting MARRIED!!!

WOO HOO!!!

 

[Zoom-boing]

My hubs and I were a blind date, fixed up by my girlfriend and a guy he went to high school with. They had met a a party and started dating and tried for several months to get us together. He wasn't interested and I had just broken up with someone and was absolutely, positively not interested in getting into another relationship. I wanted to just 'be' for awhile. After a few months of badgering from our friends we both said 'ok, I'll meet this person' just so our friends would leave us alone. We just celebrated our 23 wedding anniversary. All I can say is . . . you just never know.

California Girl's getting MARRIED!!!

WOO HOO!!!

You never can tell how things will turn out.

My experience has been that when I wasn't looking for something is usually when I found it.

 

[Ringel05]

You forget he's a friend of a family member. It starts getting complicated right there.

Love is complicated======jump in !

unless you live in the Appalachians

i see that, duckie.

Oh God, that dredges up a whole host of jokes!

 

[goldcatt]

My hubs and I were a blind date, fixed up by my girlfriend and a guy he went to high school with. They had met a a party and started dating and tried for several months to get us together. He wasn't interested and I had just broken up with someone and was absolutely, positively not interested in getting into another relationship. I wanted to just 'be' for awhile. After a few months of badgering from our friends we both said 'ok, I'll meet this person' just so our friends would leave us alone. We just celebrated our 23 wedding anniversary. All I can say is . . . you just never know.

California Girl's getting MARRIED!!!

WOO HOO!!!

You never can tell how things will turn out.

My experience has been that when I wasn't looking for something is usually when I found it.

I'll second that! And always in a place you would have never thought to look.

 

[xotoxi]

I'll second that! And always in a place you would have never thought to look.

(i.e. sewage treatment plant)

 

[California Girl]

Nope, I thought about it and without more facts to go on I'm going to stick with c. The fact that b is even a realistic option means there's something about the situation that makes her uncomfortable. Without more to go on I have no idea what, but why else even think of turning it down? If they know each other relatively well already there's nothing wrong with addressing whatever that is - tactfully, of course.

B is just because I know the guy. I'd prefer not to complicate things cuz I like him. We did have lunch together a week or so ago.... but that was just a spur of the moment thing.

Right now, I'm leaning towards saying 'ok' and saying he can stay here.

Well hell, in that case I change my vote to a. Actually liking him isn't a complication, just an added bonus.

The last time I dated a guy that I was friends with before ended up being my fiance.... and if Ratboy hadn't died on me, I wouldn't have this problem. I need to add that to the list of things to slap him for when I die.

*To clarify for the idiots: we always referred to him as 'Ratboy' when he was alive, I see no reason to stop now.

 

[goldcatt]

B is just because I know the guy. I'd prefer not to complicate things cuz I like him. We did have lunch together a week or so ago.... but that was just a spur of the moment thing.

Right now, I'm leaning towards saying 'ok' and saying he can stay here.

Well hell, in that case I change my vote to a. Actually liking him isn't a complication, just an added bonus.

The last time I dated a guy that I was friends with before ended up being my fiance.... and if Ratboy hadn't died on me, I wouldn't have this problem. I need to add that to the list of things to slap him for when I die.

*To clarify for the idiots: we always referred to him as 'Ratboy' when he was alive, I see no reason to stop now.

I see now.

But look at it this way, you already know you like him, you get along, you'll have a good time. If that's the only complication the worst thing that can happen is you decide it's not for you and go back to being friends after a nice dinner and a night with a friend crashing on your couch. What do you have to lose?

 

[California Girl]

Well hell, in that case I change my vote to a. Actually liking him isn't a complication, just an added bonus.

The last time I dated a guy that I was friends with before ended up being my fiance.... and if Ratboy hadn't died on me, I wouldn't have this problem. I need to add that to the list of things to slap him for when I die.

*To clarify for the idiots: we always referred to him as 'Ratboy' when he was alive, I see no reason to stop now.

I see now.

But look at it this way, you already know you like him, you get along, you'll have a good time. If that's the only complication the worst thing that can happen is you decide it's not for you and go back to being friends after a nice dinner and a night with a friend crashing on your couch. What do you have to lose?

Yea, I agree.

He called.... I said come down, we'll have dinner and he can stay here. He's cool with that. We had a nice conversation and I'm actually looking forward to it now. I don't feel weird about it.

I'm even gonna let him sleep in a bed!! Not mine. LOL. I have a choice of bedrooms.

 

[ekrem]

b) ... instead, spend your time with us.

 

[goldcatt]

The last time I dated a guy that I was friends with before ended up being my fiance.... and if Ratboy hadn't died on me, I wouldn't have this problem. I need to add that to the list of things to slap him for when I die.

*To clarify for the idiots: we always referred to him as 'Ratboy' when he was alive, I see no reason to stop now.

I see now.

But look at it this way, you already know you like him, you get along, you'll have a good time. If that's the only complication the worst thing that can happen is you decide it's not for you and go back to being friends after a nice dinner and a night with a friend crashing on your couch. What do you have to lose?

Yea, I agree.

He called.... I said come down, we'll have dinner and he can stay here. He's cool with that. We had a nice conversation and I'm actually looking forward to it now. I don't feel weird about it.

I'm even gonna let him sleep in a bed!! Not mine. LOL. I have a choice of bedrooms.

Don't start feeling weird about it again either. If dating somebody is going to work you have to be friends anyway, assuming you decide to go that route you're just ahead of the curve. You had me thinking there was something wrong here.

The rest - only you can decide when you're ready.