Anachronism
Rookie
- Banned
- #1
Ok, I will not claim to be ANY form of expert on relationships, clothing, fashion, or women in general but this is something I need to get off my chest before I explode. Mostly because it's something I've run into three or four times in my personal life over the last couple of weeks and I can't believe that it isn't obvious to everyone....
Why is it that so many women cannot comprehend that their level of "attractiveness" is generally nowhere near as much about WHAT they are wearing as HOW you feel about what you are wearing?!?!?! I believe it was once said that a truly beautiful woman could make a burlap sack with arm and neck holes look GOOD. I know that a lot of women nowadays would probably disagree with that.
With the advent of clothing and undergarments designed to enhance this, reduce that, show off something else we seem to have reached a point where women feel that they have to look a very specific way in order to feel "attractive"; when in reality the truth is that it is the confidence that a woman has in her appearance that makes her truly beautiful regardless of what cup size her bra might be, or what size jeans she's wearing.
My frustration on this issue comes mostly from a pair of conversations I had at the gym I go to yesterday....
The first was with a lady who just turned 31. I've attended a couple of group classes with her, so we know each other a little bit. She got on the elyptical machine next to me and put a fashion magazine on the rack in front of her, without opening it. After a couple of minutes I asked her if she was going to read the magazine or if she was trying to absorb the articles through osmosis. She laughed and told me that she was trying to use the photo of the actress/model in a bikini on the cover as a means of motivation. "I'm hoping to look like that by the time my vacation comes around in August" Lynn informed me. When I looked over at the cover, I told Lynn that so far as I was concerned she already looked BETTER than the woman in the bikini. She laughed and told me I must be blind because the model was obviously much thinner than she is. I reminded her that while the model might be thinner she also had no hips or chest and looked almost boyish; which I at least personally don't find to be terribly good looking; while she has very nice curves, which I find to be much more feminine and attractive. She smiled that "You're a guy, you wouldn't understand what I'm talking about." smile and we both went back to our workouts.
The second happened while I was waiting for my post-workout Orange Creame smoothie with protein that is part of my end of workout routine. Sitting there at the smoothie bar was Alicia, another very attractive young woman who I know from several group classes. She was commenting to one of the female staff members that her twin sister Erica (who is engaged to one of the staff members) gets all the looks from the guys at the gym but nobody really seems to pay any attention to her. Even when they wear essentially identical outfits to workout. I quietly and politely mentioned that if she was really interested I could explain to her why that was. Of course they both wanted to know what I felt the reason was. "When Erica wears something she doesn't care who is looking at her butt, her hips, her chest, etc... She has the confidence that she looks good in it and goes with it. You on the other hand always seem to be trying to hide something. Almost like you're embarassed of what you're wearing or how your body looks. You're both incredibly attractive young women, but Erica's confidence just makes all the difference in how guys see the two of you." Of course I immediately got told that I had no idea what I was talking about.
This is something I've gone through with my roommate and several former girlfriends as well. Is it really that tough of a concept to get..... When you feel happy and confident about what you look like, you end up being a lot more attractive to other people as well. That's why a lot of makeup on a woman turns most guys off... we wonder what it is you're hiding underneath it. It's also why a pair of jeans and a nice blouse can be 100X sexier on a woman who OWNS that look than a miniskirt and corset-top is on a woman who is not confident about what she's wearing.
Ok. I feel better now. [/rant]
Why is it that so many women cannot comprehend that their level of "attractiveness" is generally nowhere near as much about WHAT they are wearing as HOW you feel about what you are wearing?!?!?! I believe it was once said that a truly beautiful woman could make a burlap sack with arm and neck holes look GOOD. I know that a lot of women nowadays would probably disagree with that.
With the advent of clothing and undergarments designed to enhance this, reduce that, show off something else we seem to have reached a point where women feel that they have to look a very specific way in order to feel "attractive"; when in reality the truth is that it is the confidence that a woman has in her appearance that makes her truly beautiful regardless of what cup size her bra might be, or what size jeans she's wearing.
My frustration on this issue comes mostly from a pair of conversations I had at the gym I go to yesterday....
The first was with a lady who just turned 31. I've attended a couple of group classes with her, so we know each other a little bit. She got on the elyptical machine next to me and put a fashion magazine on the rack in front of her, without opening it. After a couple of minutes I asked her if she was going to read the magazine or if she was trying to absorb the articles through osmosis. She laughed and told me that she was trying to use the photo of the actress/model in a bikini on the cover as a means of motivation. "I'm hoping to look like that by the time my vacation comes around in August" Lynn informed me. When I looked over at the cover, I told Lynn that so far as I was concerned she already looked BETTER than the woman in the bikini. She laughed and told me I must be blind because the model was obviously much thinner than she is. I reminded her that while the model might be thinner she also had no hips or chest and looked almost boyish; which I at least personally don't find to be terribly good looking; while she has very nice curves, which I find to be much more feminine and attractive. She smiled that "You're a guy, you wouldn't understand what I'm talking about." smile and we both went back to our workouts.
The second happened while I was waiting for my post-workout Orange Creame smoothie with protein that is part of my end of workout routine. Sitting there at the smoothie bar was Alicia, another very attractive young woman who I know from several group classes. She was commenting to one of the female staff members that her twin sister Erica (who is engaged to one of the staff members) gets all the looks from the guys at the gym but nobody really seems to pay any attention to her. Even when they wear essentially identical outfits to workout. I quietly and politely mentioned that if she was really interested I could explain to her why that was. Of course they both wanted to know what I felt the reason was. "When Erica wears something she doesn't care who is looking at her butt, her hips, her chest, etc... She has the confidence that she looks good in it and goes with it. You on the other hand always seem to be trying to hide something. Almost like you're embarassed of what you're wearing or how your body looks. You're both incredibly attractive young women, but Erica's confidence just makes all the difference in how guys see the two of you." Of course I immediately got told that I had no idea what I was talking about.
This is something I've gone through with my roommate and several former girlfriends as well. Is it really that tough of a concept to get..... When you feel happy and confident about what you look like, you end up being a lot more attractive to other people as well. That's why a lot of makeup on a woman turns most guys off... we wonder what it is you're hiding underneath it. It's also why a pair of jeans and a nice blouse can be 100X sexier on a woman who OWNS that look than a miniskirt and corset-top is on a woman who is not confident about what she's wearing.
Ok. I feel better now. [/rant]