I don't know how any of what happened to your mom can be your fault. One way or another, the pills never left her picture even after you and the doctor stepped in and said "No more!" to her.My mother committed suicide and I have always felt guilty about it.
Her doctor was overdosing her on sedatives, turning her into a mindless zombie that shuffled around.
I called her doctor and asked him to take her off the medication. Actually, I was so upset I yelled at the doctor and demanded he take her off the medication.
So the doctor took her off the medication.
A few days later my mother disappeared. She was found in her car in the parking lot of her university, overdosed on her pills.
My brother, who's never been very diplomatic, told me my mother's death was my fault because I yelled at the doctor.
I have often imagined my mother burning in hell for her suicide, and though I know she was not in her right mind, these visions have plagued me.
I have lit many candles in church for my mother's soul and I have prayed very hard that she be allowed into heaven.
So, that's my experience with taking another human life. I did not kill her directly, but had I not called that doctor, my mother might still be alive today.
God bless you and your brother always!!!
Holly