I'm conflicted

[PixieStix]

No offense to anyone here. But when I saw the title then the OP, my first thought was "why are you feeling conflicted?"

Not enough people are willing to stand on principle. This is one reason our country is in such a mess.

Gramps if you aren't benefiting from what your ex is receiving via the government assistance programs, then why are you conflicted?

Maybe you should tell her to go rent her own place, let her pay her own bills with her measly government assistance.

And besides she apparently lied or at the very least omitted the truth from you. So where would the conflict come in?

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Fucking incredible.

How the hell is this any of your business gramps?

Why do all the rw's defend enormous corporate welfare to the tune of TRILLIONS of tax payer money but have fits over the few bucks this woman is getting? Especially since there is no reason to think there is fraud.

Mind your own business.

Or, if you want to cause her no end of misery, turn her in. What does her daughter need a mother for anyway.

 

[PixieStix]

Fucking incredible.

How the hell is this any of your business gramps?

Why do all the rw's defend enormous corporate welfare to the tune of TRILLIONS of tax payer money but have fits over the few bucks this woman is getting?

Mind your own business.

Idiot, she is living in his house. IT IS HIS BUSINESS!

 

[Luddly Neddite]

There is no god.

Sadly, you're right in the sense that there is no God IN YOUR LIFE.

My sympathies, and a neg rep for your trouble...

Typical of the "christians" we see here.

Bet it just ticks you off that the only think you can do to hurt him is lousy little grade school neg rep.

All the other "christians" are busy telling gramps to turn in the woman he says he cares about and whose daughter he says he cares about.

Sheesh.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

My ex who I still live with is imo taking advantage of the system. I just found out she is geting medicade. She has been getting foodstamps for the last month or two and I'm beside myself.

I know many of you think I'm just a troll but I'm not and I'm floored. She knew how I felt from the beginning . I don't know if I should turn her in for fraud or just try to whither out of the picture.

Many of you have said I offer too much of my personal life but I can't help it. After my stint in prison I became an honest person. And quite frankly its much easier to get your advise on here than it it is to admit my shame in public.

I dunno what to do. I know what my beliefs tell me. But my heart is troubled. 8 years and I had no clue.

Why did you go to prison?

Juvenile delenquency. I was certified as an adult at 16 and sent.

Anyhow back to the topic. The home is mine and I allowed her to stay after the divorce to try to give her a chance to stabilize financially. The house was plenty large enough and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

After work today I had a talk with her and suggested it was time for her to move on with her life. I can see now I was a crutch and was enabling her to stagnate.

Things are pretty stressful right now but I appreciate the advice from everyone.

I will be keeping you in my prayers. I believe it was a very kind and caring thing you did in opening your home to her. It is also good that you were able to talk to her, to be honest with her and both come to an agreement about what the next move would be. A gentle answer turns away wrath.

I am going to be praying for her that she can get on her feet and make a new start. Life is complicated sometimes but I hope you will not stop reaching out to others when God shows you a need in someones life.

It is not about being "qualified" to receive help as you know. If that were the case no one would ever be forgiven for anything. We need to meet people where they are at because that is exactly where the LORD met us. In our needs. It is a come as you are invitation and there is no better way to exemplify that than by our love and acceptance of others along the same lines. I wish you both the very best.

- Jeremiah

 

[Connery]

My ex who I still live with is imo taking advantage of the system. I just found out she is geting medicade. She has been getting foodstamps for the last month or two and I'm beside myself.

I know many of you think I'm just a troll but I'm not and I'm floored. She knew how I felt from the beginning . I don't know if I should turn her in for fraud or just try to whither out of the picture.

Many of you have said I offer too much of my personal life but I can't help it. After my stint in prison I became an honest person. And quite frankly its much easier to get your advise on here than it it is to admit my shame in public.

I dunno what to do. I know what my beliefs tell me. But my heart is troubled. 8 years and I had no clue.

Speak with her about it especially if it impinges on you personally I.E. your criminal record. If her activities do not impact you then I suggest you look into yourself as to why you wish to involve yourself in her life.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Fucking incredible.

How the hell is this any of your business gramps?

Why do all the rw's defend enormous corporate welfare to the tune of TRILLIONS of tax payer money but have fits over the few bucks this woman is getting?

Mind your own business.

Idiot, she is living in his house. IT IS HIS BUSINESS!

Why?

Was THAT a condition of their relationship? That her finances be HIS business? He hasn't said that. Was knowing the source of her money a condition of him paying the rent?

If he is now changing the rules of the relationship, he should tell her that and that he now wants to be privy to her private life.

Why do rw's think they have the right to know everything AND have control over other people's lives?

 

[Remodeling Maidiac]

I won't be turning anyone in. That's not who I am. I suspect in her mind she thought she was being helpful. Fact is there is no reason she couldn't be working. I can not be a part of this regardless if it is legal or not.
I can not have someone in my home using the system I often feel is wrong in its application.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Speak with her about it especially if it impinges on you personally I.E. your criminal record. If her activities do not impact you then I suggest you look into yourself as to why you wish to involve yourself in her life.

I thought of that too but if someone else is breaking the law (and we have no reason to believe she is), that shouldn't have any impact on him.

OTOH, she might want to think about why she is with an ex-con who wants her to lose her daughter and go to jail over a very small amount of money.

What kind of man would do something as low as that?

Finally, if the sate (county, feds, whomever) made the decision that she qualifies for $______, its between her and them.

 

[PixieStix]

Fucking incredible.

How the hell is this any of your business gramps?

Why do all the rw's defend enormous corporate welfare to the tune of TRILLIONS of tax payer money but have fits over the few bucks this woman is getting?

Mind your own business.

Idiot, she is living in his house. IT IS HIS BUSINESS!

Why?

Was THAT a condition of their relationship? That her finances be HIS business? He hasn't said that. Was knowing the source of her money a condition of him paying the rent?

If he is now changing the rules of the relationship, he should tell her that and that he now wants to be privy to her private life.

Why do rw's think they have the right to know everything AND have control over other people's lives?

You are still an idiot. That seems to think that "rw's" don't have a life outside of politics. And that they are somehow alien to real world conflicts or problems. Get a life nuddley

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I won't be turning anyone in. That's not who I am. I suspect in her mind she thought she was being helpful. Fact is there is no reason she couldn't be working. I can not be a part of this regardless if it is legal or not.
I can not have someone in my home using the system I often feel is wrong in its application.

You have said that you own a successful business.

Is there a place for her there?

Or, is that appropriate?

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Idiot, she is living in his house. IT IS HIS BUSINESS!

Why?

Was THAT a condition of their relationship? That her finances be HIS business? He hasn't said that. Was knowing the source of her money a condition of him paying the rent?

If he is now changing the rules of the relationship, he should tell her that and that he now wants to be privy to her private life.

Why do rw's think they have the right to know everything AND have control over other people's lives?

You are still an idiot. That seems to think that "rw's" don't have a life outside of politics. And that they are somehow alien to real world conflicts or problems. Get a life nuddley

And you use childish name calling to keep from having to address the points in my post.

 

[PixieStix]

Why?

Was THAT a condition of their relationship? That her finances be HIS business? He hasn't said that. Was knowing the source of her money a condition of him paying the rent?

If he is now changing the rules of the relationship, he should tell her that and that he now wants to be privy to her private life.

Why do rw's think they have the right to know everything AND have control over other people's lives?

You are still an idiot. That seems to think that "rw's" don't have a life outside of politics. And that they are somehow alien to real world conflicts or problems. Get a life nuddley

And you use childish name calling to keep from having to address the points in my post.

And you are diverting.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

You are still an idiot. That seems to think that "rw's" don't have a life outside of politics. And that they are somehow alien to real world conflicts or problems. Get a life nuddley

And you use childish name calling to keep from having to address the points in my post.

And you are diverting.

Here's my post that you felt you could not handle. Instead of name calling, try addressing the very valid points I made.

Why?

Was THAT a condition of their relationship? That her finances be HIS business? He hasn't said that. Was knowing the source of her money a condition of him paying the rent?

If he is now changing the rules of the relationship, he should tell her that and that he now wants to be privy to her private life.

Why do rw's think they have the right to know everything AND have control over other people's lives?

 

[Remodeling Maidiac]

I won't be turning anyone in. That's not who I am. I suspect in her mind she thought she was being helpful. Fact is there is no reason she couldn't be working. I can not be a part of this regardless if it is legal or not.
I can not have someone in my home using the system I often feel is wrong in its application.

You have said that you own a successful business.

Is there a place for her there?

Or, is that appropriate?

Hiring friends and family is a recipe for disaster. She has a skillset in the medical field that would pay very well if she chooses to persue it.

As to your previous points I don't consider it my business. But unlike some I have a moral compass and living with it spinning wildly simply isn't an option.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Why would anybody in their right mind want to live with their ex?

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I won't be turning anyone in. That's not who I am. I suspect in her mind she thought she was being helpful. Fact is there is no reason she couldn't be working. I can not be a part of this regardless if it is legal or not.
I can not have someone in my home using the system I often feel is wrong in its application.

My advice would be to relax and not give it any more thought, Sir. You have shared your thoughts about this with her in a fair and thoughtful way and I am sure she appreciates your having opened your home to her for the time she was there.

It is quite clear to me you have no intention of turning her in or causing her any duress in her life and that your wish for her is that she will obtain a job to support both her and her child. You have done the right thing in telling her your concerns and sharing your own values with her and hopefully if there is anything for her to consider to change personally? She will! Other than that I believe you have worked it out! So good for you! Well done.

-Jeremiah

 

[Remodeling Maidiac]

Why would anybody in their right mind want to live with their ex?

Lol

We didn't have volatile issues. Just drifted appart.

 

[AquaAthena]

My ex who I still live with is imo taking advantage of the system. I just found out she is geting medicade. She has been getting foodstamps for the last month or two and I'm beside myself.

I know many of you think I'm just a troll but I'm not and I'm floored. She knew how I felt from the beginning . I don't know if I should turn her in for fraud or just try to whither out of the picture.

Many of you have said I offer too much of my personal life but I can't help it. After my stint in prison I became an honest person. And quite frankly its much easier to get your advise on here than it it is to admit my shame in public.

I dunno what to do. I know what my beliefs tell me. But my heart is troubled. 8 years and I had no clue.

Grampa, thank you for asking for advice. I don't want to ignore your request, but don't feel comfortable giving advice to anybody. There are too many underlying details and dynamics, I am unaware of, plus I am just uncomfortable giving advice to anyone.

May you make the best choice, for your present, and your future.

 

[Amelia]

Fucking incredible.

How the hell is this any of your business gramps?

Why do all the rw's defend enormous corporate welfare to the tune of TRILLIONS of tax payer money but have fits over the few bucks this woman is getting?

Mind your own business.

Idiot, she is living in his house. IT IS HIS BUSINESS!

Why?

Was THAT a condition of their relationship? That her finances be HIS business? He hasn't said that. Was knowing the source of her money a condition of him paying the rent?

If he is now changing the rules of the relationship, he should tell her that and that he now wants to be privy to her private life.

Why do rw's think they have the right to know everything AND have control over other people's lives?

If she's living in his house without paying rent and without keeping her food separate then his income might count toward many kinds of aid she would qualify for. If she's not reporting that income, then this could be fraud.