If heaven is real what language do they speak?

[Pogo]

Southern Baptist is not a language, however.

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

I know of a few. The ones I want to know are the bastards who throw beer cans in my yard. I live 2 blocks from a Baptist church. BTW, do you know the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic?

Tell us, pray.

 

[Pumpkin Row]

What do they eat? Can you drink beer and smoke cigarettes in heaven ?

When the followers of Jesus were touched by tongues of fire, they were able to speak in all of the area's languages at once. I suspect everyone in heaven would do the same.

 

[Pogo]

Er..my religion allows me to drink wine.

Then read this:

Does the Baptist Doctrine Feel That Drinking Is a Sin?

Well I don't know who wrote that but I looked it up and apparently we don't drink!

Who knew! Lol!

You need to find a new church. A Christian one.

No thank you. I have a Christian church.

Spill the wine then! Dig that girl!

Golando! Golando!

 

[Grief]

The presupposed idea of heaven, or an afterlife in general is a particularly outrageous one to begin with.

Given your hypothetical though, even if you follow the Bible, there is literally no one to know. None. There are too many factors that would make absolutely no sense or that have to be invented to make it work reasonably.

Would heaven allow indulgences such as alcohol and cigarettes? Would you be able to drink 30 gallons of rum a day and not be completely belligerent or 'affected'?
What if that was your idea of heaven?
Is heaven governed by such unilateral laws and all that you can do is walk around saying hi to dead people and doing celestially-approved activities?

Wouldn't it be rather arrogant to think anyone would know just because they think a magical book tells them?

 

[Hossfly]

The presupposed idea of heaven, or an afterlife in general is a particularly outrageous one to begin with.

Given your hypothetical though, even if you follow the Bible, there is literally no one to know. None. There are too many factors that would make absolutely no sense or that have to be invented to make it work reasonably.

Would heaven allow indulgences such as alcohol and cigarettes? Would you be able to drink 30 gallons of rum a day and not be completely belligerent or 'affected'?
What if that was your idea of heaven?
Is heaven governed by such unilateral laws and all that you can do is walk around saying hi to dead people and doing celestially-approved activities?

Wouldn't it be rather arrogant to think anyone would know just because they think a magical book tells them?

What majikal book we talkin' about?

 

[Hossfly]

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

I know of a few. The ones I want to know are the bastards who throw beer cans in my yard. I live 2 blocks from a Baptist church. BTW, do you know the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic?

Tell us, pray.

OK. I'll tell. The difference is a Catholic will speak to you in a liquor store.

 

[TNHarley]

idk, but i would think no one speaks when they are dead

 

[Coloradomtnman]

No beer and cigarettes, but if you're in heaven, you won't want those things anyway.

We will all speak the same language, and a lot of our time will be consumed with singing the praises of God.

That sounds hellish.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

The "funny" comment should really be disabled. I made a serious statement about what I believe as a Christian, and guno just shat upon it with a "funny." Why should that be allowed? If guno has something to say, he should say it. But these "drive by" attack on posts using "funny" should be disabled. It does nothing to promote serious discussion.

BUT we need a "dumbsh!t" box to check as well. Not for you, but for some of the other dumbsh!t comments here like "Arabic".

The language of heaven is not a relevant question. The relevant question is, are you prepared to die? If you were to die at this very moment would you go to heaven, or would you go to hell? I think most of us know the answer to that question. And once you have asked yourself the question, realized what the answer is, it is all on you to change that answer if you don't like it. But the good part of it is this, no matter what you have done, no matter how deep your sin or how deep in darkness you have strayed, there is always a way back to God. And once you take that first step towards God, he will rush to meet you the rest of the way, he will take you into his loving arms, and he will throw a feast to celebrate your arrival.

Sounds gay.

 

[Fenton Lum]

Southern Baptists too.

Southern Baptist is not a language, however.

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Southern Baptists too.

Southern Baptist is not a language, however.

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Bullshit hon, evangelistic, mission-minded church with a generally conservative doctrine. You people are tribal as hell, even amongst yourselves. First Baptist, Second Baptist, American Baptist, Southern Baptist, General Baptist, Independent Baptist, Primitive Baptist – the list goes on and on.

 

[Tilly]

What do they eat? Can you drink beer and smoke cigarettes in heaven ?

Go to Jannah instead and youll get revirginated virgins, little boys and rivers of wine.

 

[koshergrl]

Southern Baptist is not a language, however.

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Southern Baptist is not a language, however.

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Bullshit hon, evangelistic, mission-minded church with a generally conservative doctrine. You people are tribal as hell, even amongst yourselves. First Baptist, Second Baptist, American Baptist, Southern Baptist, General Baptist, Independent Baptist, Primitive Baptist – the list goes on and on.

How many do you know?

Psst...Southern Baptists still aren't fundamentalists.

"Are conservative Southern Baptists fundamentalists?" is "No." This answer does not mean that Southern Baptists are not good people who genuinely want to serve the Lord or that the conservatives have not made advances within the Convention. Rather, the answer reveals that the conservatives are not going in the same direction as fundamentalists."

Are Conservative Southern Baptists Fundamentalists? - audio by George Houghton

 

[Tilly]

Enochian

 

[koshergrl]

I've actually been a member of fundamentalist Baptist congregations.

"A Fundamentalist Baptist however, has two additional characteristics beyond that of a Fundamental Baptist. The first of these characteristics is "Biblical Separation" and the second of these is "Christian Militancy".

"Biblical Separation is the Bible's clear command that true Christians are to remain separate from all personal, social, and ecclesiastical relationships with those who call themselves Christians, but want to live a life of sin."

"The second characteristic of Fundamentalist Baptists which sets them apart from New Evangelicals is their Christian Militancy. Such "Christian Militancy" does not at all mean violence or the shedding of blood. In fact, Fundamentalist Baptists refuse to be violent in a world that so often loves to see violence and bloodshed."

Fundamentalist Baptist

Neither are doctrines that Southern Baptists employ.

 

[koshergrl]

"Because of the liberal media's strong anti-Christian, (and especially anti-Fundamentalist) bias, sometime around 1980 many in the news media started to call radical Muslims by the term "Muslim Fundamentalists". It was no secret at the time why they did this. They called Muslims "Fundamentalists", in order to deliberately slander Fundamentalist Baptists and other Fundamentalist Christians who take Jesus and the Bible seriously. They had hoped that use of this new term would cause people to think that murderous Muslims were somehow the same, (or in some sense related to), Fundamentalist Baptists."

Yup.

Fundamentalist Baptist

 

[Dajjal]

What do they eat? Can you drink beer and smoke cigarettes in heaven ?

When the followers of Jesus were touched by tongues of fire, they were able to speak in all of the area's languages at once. I suspect everyone in heaven would do the same.

Trance mediums can speak when they are taken over by a discarnate spirit. But they do not usually remember what they have said. I think the disciples may have had the same problem as the holy spirit spoke through them, and their minds would have been unable to comprehend or remember what they had said.

 

[Fenton Lum]

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

You ever hear them talk? Hell ya

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Bullshit hon, evangelistic, mission-minded church with a generally conservative doctrine. You people are tribal as hell, even amongst yourselves. First Baptist, Second Baptist, American Baptist, Southern Baptist, General Baptist, Independent Baptist, Primitive Baptist – the list goes on and on.

How many do you know?

Psst...Southern Baptists still aren't fundamentalists.

"Are conservative Southern Baptists fundamentalists?" is "No." This answer does not mean that Southern Baptists are not good people who genuinely want to serve the Lord or that the conservatives have not made advances within the Convention. Rather, the answer reveals that the conservatives are not going in the same direction as fundamentalists."

Are Conservative Southern Baptists Fundamentalists? - audio by George Houghton

Grew up amongst them, family some, you're not going to be able to undo what I've seen, sorry.

 

[koshergrl]

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

I'm Southern Baptist and I don't have a southern accent. I'm from Oregon for Pete's sake.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Bullshit hon, evangelistic, mission-minded church with a generally conservative doctrine. You people are tribal as hell, even amongst yourselves. First Baptist, Second Baptist, American Baptist, Southern Baptist, General Baptist, Independent Baptist, Primitive Baptist – the list goes on and on.

How many do you know?

Psst...Southern Baptists still aren't fundamentalists.

"Are conservative Southern Baptists fundamentalists?" is "No." This answer does not mean that Southern Baptists are not good people who genuinely want to serve the Lord or that the conservatives have not made advances within the Convention. Rather, the answer reveals that the conservatives are not going in the same direction as fundamentalists."

Are Conservative Southern Baptists Fundamentalists? - audio by George Houghton

Grew up amongst them, family some, you're not going to be able to undo what I've seen, sorry.

Sure you did lol.

 

[Fenton Lum]

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

They're all very tribal however, terminally fundamentalist in a verbal and dialect manner.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Bullshit hon, evangelistic, mission-minded church with a generally conservative doctrine. You people are tribal as hell, even amongst yourselves. First Baptist, Second Baptist, American Baptist, Southern Baptist, General Baptist, Independent Baptist, Primitive Baptist – the list goes on and on.

How many do you know?

Psst...Southern Baptists still aren't fundamentalists.

"Are conservative Southern Baptists fundamentalists?" is "No." This answer does not mean that Southern Baptists are not good people who genuinely want to serve the Lord or that the conservatives have not made advances within the Convention. Rather, the answer reveals that the conservatives are not going in the same direction as fundamentalists."

Are Conservative Southern Baptists Fundamentalists? - audio by George Houghton

Grew up amongst them, family some, you're not going to be able to undo what I've seen, sorry.

Sure you did lol.

Make up your own reality shoog, you don't need me for that.

 

[koshergrl]

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

How many Southern Baptists do you know? Pssst....we aren't fundamentalists.

Bullshit hon, evangelistic, mission-minded church with a generally conservative doctrine. You people are tribal as hell, even amongst yourselves. First Baptist, Second Baptist, American Baptist, Southern Baptist, General Baptist, Independent Baptist, Primitive Baptist – the list goes on and on.

How many do you know?

Psst...Southern Baptists still aren't fundamentalists.

"Are conservative Southern Baptists fundamentalists?" is "No." This answer does not mean that Southern Baptists are not good people who genuinely want to serve the Lord or that the conservatives have not made advances within the Convention. Rather, the answer reveals that the conservatives are not going in the same direction as fundamentalists."

Are Conservative Southern Baptists Fundamentalists? - audio by George Houghton

Grew up amongst them, family some, you're not going to be able to undo what I've seen, sorry.

Sure you did lol.

Make up your own reality shoog, you don't need me for that.

You sound more like one of the tribals you are sneering at than any Southern Baptists I know do, "shoog".

"Tribal" lol. That's funny.