I want to be an illegal alien too!

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by BaronVonBigmeat, Aug 10, 2006.

  1. BaronVonBigmeat

    BaronVonBigmeat Senior Member

    Sep 20, 2005
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    A Maryland resident petitions his senator

    June 7, 2006

    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
    309 Hart Senate Office Building
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's rovisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

    I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Pete McGlaughlin

    • Thank You! Thank You! x 2
  2. Gunny

    Gunny Gold Member

    Dec 27, 2004
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    The Republic of Texas
    Hell, where do I sign up?
  3. William Joyce

    William Joyce Chemotherapy for PC

    Jan 23, 2004
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    I love it.

    I think it would involve renouncing U.S. citizenship, but at this point, who give a flying F? Hell, I could still practice LAW as a non-citizen, so my law license wouldn't be in jeopardy. And I could save big on taxes! I could join the military, no PROBLEM! And if I died in action, the federal government would pay for my funeral, including the Mexican flag draping my coffin. Heck, I could even get a job at Homeland Security!

    And, there would be scads of interest groups for me in D.C.

    And, anyone who looked at me cross-eyed would be a RACIST! You so much as breathe on me wrong, and you go to jail, courtesy of the Bush Administration!!! And this is how REPUBLICANS handle it, folks. When Hillary is President, illegal aliens will be worshipped as GODS, for goodness' sake.

    What benefits come from being a U.S. citizen, really? Answer this question, one of you "neocons" who say "borders don't matter"!

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