I Stake Claim to the Title of Ugliest Man on the Internet

[JimBowie1958]

I've seen uglier... not much uglier, but uglier...

Lighting can do wonders, lol.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Not even close. You have that Mountain Man/Duck Dynasty look!

I agree. That and a convertible will bet you more pussy than you can handle.

My wife is more than I can handle already, dont need no paternity issues, lol.

I tip about 20 to 30% when I eat out and I have had a couple of waitresses awfully fond of me. Sometimes (a whole two times as I recall) some young girl will try to chat me up and I tell them I am happily married but I like to have conversation. These are nice people, but I dont understand what they see about my ugly mug that draws them.

I think it might be a Florence Nightingale thing.

Pity maybe?

 

[JimBowie1958]

I've seen uglier... not much uglier, but uglier...

Not even close, Jim! Mortimer has you beat by a mile!

Who is Mortimer? did he ever work in a circus side show as the Ugly Neanderthal?

I didnt think so.

Mortimer. More butt ugly than the ass end of a cow. Worst of all, he doesn't know it.

Error | US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

Well at least he uses a very small avatar pic.

I still think I am uglier. He would need to distort his face a bit for comparable ugg.

 

[JimBowie1958]

I think it might be a Florence Nightingale thing.

Pity maybe?

Not pity necessarily. Some gals are just drawn to pathetic looking things like pug dogs and ugly men.

Beyond that, who knows? What man says he understands the dis-staff community? Whoever he is he is a liar.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

I've seen uglier... not much uglier, but uglier...

Not even close, Jim! Mortimer has you beat by a mile!

Who is Mortimer? did he ever work in a circus side show as the Ugly Neanderthal?

I didnt think so.

Mortimer. More butt ugly than the ass end of a cow. Worst of all, he doesn't know it.

Error | US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

Well at least he uses a very small avatar pic.

I still think I am uglier. He would need to distort his face a bit for comparable ugg.

I'll never forget the first time I met my Wife's parents......
Her Mom told her.....he's not very pretty.
I thought to myself...neither are you ya old hag.

I got her back though when I had to help her dad get her back in the bed when she fell...naked.
YIKES that was bad but she was mortified that I saw her naked and the feeling was mutual.
They then went to what I can only call an engine lift to get her up.

 

[JimBowie1958]

YIKES that was bad but she was mortified that I saw her naked and the feeling was mutual.
They then went to what I can only call an engine lift to get her up.

I walk around naked all the time inside my own house. IF a neighbor looks in thats on them for peeking.

But I weigh in at around 255 right now and I think they would have to use an A-frame with a cable and a tow truck to get me back in bed.

 

[Anathema]

Try again... I WIN!!!!!

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

YIKES that was bad but she was mortified that I saw her naked and the feeling was mutual.
They then went to what I can only call an engine lift to get her up.

I walk around naked all the time inside my own house. IF a neighbor looks in thats on them for peeking.

But I weigh in at around 255 right now and I think they would have to use an A-frame with a cable and a tow truck to get me back in bed.

Tell me you're not 5'2"

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Try again... I WIN!!!!!

View attachment 292144

How did you get a pic of my mother in-law?

 

[Borillar]

Yes, there maybe guys uglier, but they are not let in through the front door.

I am the ugliest functional human being in the USA.

And I take pride in that fact.

Not all of us are charmers, not all of us are civilized.

But all of us can just not give a fook.

Not even close, Jim! Mortimer has you beat by a mile!

Yah, but he's in europe.

 

[hjmick]

I've seen uglier... not much uglier, but uglier...

Lighting can do wonders, lol.

That's what I tell my wife... I look and am built just like Ryan Reynolds... if the lights are off...

 

[JimBowie1958]

Tell me you're not 5'2"

I am not 5'2", I am 5'11" with depreciation due to age.

 

[JimBowie1958]

Try again... I WIN!!!!!

View attachment 292144

How did you get a pic of my mother in-law?

Ah, be nice to your mother in law. She might be changing your bed pan after a traffic accident one day.

 

[JimBowie1958]

Try again... I WIN!!!!!

View attachment 292144

That guy is having an allergic reaction, so it dont count, not fair!

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Try again... I WIN!!!!!

View attachment 292144

How did you get a pic of my mother in-law?

Ah, be nice to your mother in law. She might be changing your bed pan after a traffic accident one day.

Nah....she's dead.
That old lady drove me nuts!!! She was getting around on a hover round and got stuck on the dirt road to the corner store trying to go get ciggs.
She constantly asked me to give her a cigg which of course I couldnt do. Caught her rummaging around in the ash tray of my truck looking for butts.
She'd bitch me out for emptying the ash tray before we visited.

 

[JimBowie1958]

That old lady drove me nuts!!! She was getting around on a hover round and got stuck on the dirt road to the corner store trying to go get ciggs.
She constantly asked me to give her a cigg which of course I couldnt do. Caught her rummaging around in the ash tray of my truck looking for butts.
She'd bitch me out for emptying the ash tray before we visited.

It is the sworn duty of all parents to make their kids spouses feel insecure. I have shown all my kids dates my shotgun and pistols.

I dont smoke, but I knew guys in the army who would take apart cigarette butts and roll them up again with ZZ paper they kept in the shirt pocket.

Made me kind of think that cigarette branding is just BS.

But apparently she did her job quite well and you havent forgotten her, lol.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

That old lady drove me nuts!!! She was getting around on a hover round and got stuck on the dirt road to the corner store trying to go get ciggs.
She constantly asked me to give her a cigg which of course I couldnt do. Caught her rummaging around in the ash tray of my truck looking for butts.
She'd bitch me out for emptying the ash tray before we visited.

It is the sworn duty of all parents to make their kids spouses feel insecure. I have shown all my kids dates my shotgun and pistols.

I dont smoke, but I knew guys in the army who would take apart cigarette butts and roll them up again with ZZ paper they kept in the shirt pocket.

Made me kind of think that cigarette branding is just BS.

But apparently she did her job quite well and you havent forgotten her, lol.

My Wife was adopted and her parents were in their mid fifties when they adopted her so I didnt meet them until they were in their seventies.
Her dad loved me because I knew how to work on things from household stuff to cars. Unlike her ex husband who tried to hang a ceiling fan from sheetrock. I always tell my Wife she married her dad.
Which of course gets me a punch on the arm.
We clashed a lot because we both thought we knew everything but he was a really cool guy.
From the stories the Wife tells me we would have gotten along very well when they were younger.

 

[JimBowie1958]

Unlike her ex husband who tried to hang a ceiling fan from sheetrock.

Oh

My

GAWD

Where did she meet this guy, at a drug rehab?

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Unlike her ex husband who tried to hang a ceiling fan from sheetrock.

Oh

My

GAWD

Where did she meet this guy, at a drug rehab?

He was actually a Houston cop in the anti gang task force.
But a moron non the less.
She left him because he beat on her.
I told him in no uncertain terms he better stay away or I'd put a cap in his ass cop or not.
The best part? He got some young chick who worked in a kiosk in the mall selling cheap jewelry pregnant.
She took his ass to the cleaners.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Not pity necessarily. Some gals are just drawn to pathetic looking things like pug dogs and ugly men.

Thank God for little green apples and this sentence...