I really pissed a cop off this morning

[iamwhatiseem]

True Story....

So I am driving back to the office after having lunch.
I turn onto a 5 lane main road and about one block into it I see this cop doing a U turn making several cars in both directions having to brake to avoid hitting him. (seriously)
The first thought I had was "must be something happening somewhere to make a cop turn around like that on a main road with traffic going both way"...well...it was me that he was after.
My first thought once I realized this was..."wtf...I JUST turned on the road, I haven't even reached the speed limit yet!"
So I pull into a parking lot and he ask for the usual registration and proof of insurance and then he goes back to his car....and then...another patrol car pulls in front of my car blocking me from moving....and then...ANOTHER cop pulls on my passenger side.
Now I am seriously wondering what the frack is going on!!
At this point the cop who pulled me over returns to my window..I say..
"Sooo...I'm thinking you must have the wrong guy here or something?"
He says "I don't know what you are referring to"...I said..."well for starters you have three cars surrounding mine as if I just robbed a bank or something".
He is clearly annoyed by my statement...pauses...and says "it is just a policy for officer safety that any officers in the immediate area come for backup"....I said..."sure I understand that, but do you have to surround my car like this as if I am a national fugutive...for crying outloud...speaking of officer safety...you do realize that you have increased the likelihood of some gawker smacking into all of us as they are clearly wondering what is going on?"
He doesn't reply...and started to walk back to his car...but I asked "so what did you pull me over for?"....are you sitting down?..."you are not wearing your seatbelt".

No shit...happened about 2 years ago.

 

[Vanquish]

I got out of a ticket once by being honest.

Was headed to work early, no traffic, light turned yellow. Thought I could beat it. I didn't. Cop pulled me over.

"Sir, do you know any reason I shouldn't give you a ticket for running a red light?"

"No, ma'am, I sure don't."

"Leave earlier next time."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you."

David Letterman (famed for having a lead foot before he became infamous for being a scumbag) once told the story of how a Connecticut State Trooper pulled him over for speeding.

Cop to Letterman: Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?

Letterman to cop: Why, yes sir. I imagine it has something to do with the fact that I was going 75 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hour zone.

Cop to Letterman: Why, that's exactly right. Be on your way.

It never hurts to be honest...unless you have a body in the trunk, I suppose.

YES! Yes it does hurt to be honest. Stay silent to cops at all times.

Even when you think, "hey, I'm just telling the truth. that can't hurt me." It sure as fuck can. Not only will it prolong the exchange, but they will try to trip you up on what you said, or even MISREMEMBER or MISCHARACTERIZE or MISQUOTE what you said.

Don't say anything...then there's nothing to make a mistake about.

Watch this video for an enrapturing explanation from a lawyer and a cop about why you should NEVER talk to the police, even if you think you're the smooth-talking-est baddass ever:

‪Don't Talk to Cops, Part 1‬‏ - YouTube

 

[Ravi]

No, I know I was speeding.

So you are an illegal.

 

[daveman]

David Letterman (famed for having a lead foot before he became infamous for being a scumbag) once told the story of how a Connecticut State Trooper pulled him over for speeding.

Cop to Letterman: Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?

Letterman to cop: Why, yes sir. I imagine it has something to do with the fact that I was going 75 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hour zone.

Cop to Letterman: Why, that's exactly right. Be on your way.

It never hurts to be honest...unless you have a body in the trunk, I suppose.

YES! Yes it does hurt to be honest. Stay silent to cops at all times.

Even when you think, "hey, I'm just telling the truth. that can't hurt me." It sure as fuck can. Not only will it prolong the exchange, but they will try to trip you up on what you said, or even MISREMEMBER or MISCHARACTERIZE or MISQUOTE what you said.

Don't say anything...then there's nothing to make a mistake about.

Watch this video for an enrapturing explanation from a lawyer and a cop about why you should NEVER talk to the police, even if you think you're the smooth-talking-est baddass ever:

‪Don't Talk to Cops, Part 1‬‏ - YouTube

Not interested. I'll stick with what's worked for me several times in the past.

 

[Liability]

David Letterman (famed for having a lead foot before he became infamous for being a scumbag) once told the story of how a Connecticut State Trooper pulled him over for speeding.

Cop to Letterman: Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?

Letterman to cop: Why, yes sir. I imagine it has something to do with the fact that I was going 75 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hour zone.

Cop to Letterman: Why, that's exactly right. Be on your way.

It never hurts to be honest...unless you have a body in the trunk, I suppose.

YES! Yes it does hurt to be honest. Stay silent to cops at all times.

Even when you think, "hey, I'm just telling the truth. that can't hurt me." It sure as fuck can. Not only will it prolong the exchange, but they will try to trip you up on what you said, or even MISREMEMBER or MISCHARACTERIZE or MISQUOTE what you said.

Don't say anything...then there's nothing to make a mistake about.

Watch this video for an enrapturing explanation from a lawyer and a cop about why you should NEVER talk to the police, even if you think you're the smooth-talking-est baddass ever:

‪Don't Talk to Cops, Part 1‬‏ - YouTube

As a rule, I tend not to agree with most things said by Vanquished, but in this particular case, he has a point. It CAN hurt and often DOES hurt to be honest with the cops. It can also hurt (and it is a bad practice anyway) to lie to them.

The BEST practice is, silence.

Hidden video cameras with audio are helpful, albeit usually impractical, if the cops do lie about what was said (if anything) and by whom, and when, and what the context was. SOME cops do lie.

 

[Si modo]

No, I know I was speeding.

So you are an illegal.

Absolutely, for about 30 seconds this morning.

 

[mudwhistle]

Yup.

Nothing pisses off a cop more than thinking he's nabbed a criminal and finding out he's wrong.

I know two people who had their residences searched (with warrants and everything) and in both cases they said they were shocked by how pissed off (and rude) the cops got when they didn't find the drugs they were sure were there. In one case, the guy had a huge salt water fish tank and some neighbor tipped off the cops thinking he had a grow lamp. The other was the wrong apartment number.

Yeah. Si month is your typical scientist/criminal type.

He could have busted her for an unauthorized centrifuge or lax titration procedures.

A friend of mine has a ringtone that sounds like a pig being castrated. Play that for him as you lay a patch of rubber on your way out.

 

[Si modo]

Yup.

Nothing pisses off a cop more than thinking he's nabbed a criminal and finding out he's wrong.

I know two people who had their residences searched (with warrants and everything) and in both cases they said they were shocked by how pissed off (and rude) the cops got when they didn't find the drugs they were sure were there. In one case, the guy had a huge salt water fish tank and some neighbor tipped off the cops thinking he had a grow lamp. The other was the wrong apartment number.

Yeah. Si month is your typical scientist/criminal type.

He could have busted her for an unauthorized centrifuge or lax titration procedures.

 

[westwall]

Fuckem. You shoulda blasted the first Nazi in the face when he was approaching your car.

With what? My morning breath?

Game, Set, Match to Si modo!

 

[AllieBaba]

I had a bench warrant issued to me and my license suspended because of a stupid seat belt ticket.

BTW, dishonesty is not the best policy with anyone, but with cops, it's best to wait until they tell you what they're stopping you for. They actually count on people to blab insanely, and often pull folks over for frivolous stuff, banking on the belief that they will incriminate themselves and give them more.

Just keep your mouth shut. You don't have to deny anything, but for pete's sakes, how stupid to admit to a bunch of crap when you don't even know why you're being pulled over.

Remember Jim Carrey in Liar Liar?

 

[Againsheila]

The lesson learned here ....

Always run out for coffee filters while wearing your pajamas and bunny slippers.

Maybe the cop just found out his wife was cheating on him or something. Bored perhaps. Or like Two Thumbs posted ... he needed to fill his quota.

Or just get a forever coffee filter. Yeah, it doesn't filter out the grease like the paper ones do, but at least it will get you started in the morning.

 

[Againsheila]

BTW, you know those speed signs, the ones that tell you how fast you are going? Well, after I visited Andrew on Wed, I was real upset and wasn't really paying attention (yeah I probably should have gotten that ticket) but I passed one of those signs and it didn't flash my speed, no it flashed "slow down" I must've really been going fast. I slowed down. I didn't even know they could do that.

 

[catzmeow]

The other day, I was headed to the projects for a meeting, and was driving the boyfriend's tiny little manual transmission car (he was in Japan). I kept killing it on the little hills and windy roads and when a cop pulled in behind me, I was sure that I was going to get a ticket. Sure enough, right when I pulled into the projects, the cop pulled me over. Apparently, my boyfriend's brake lights were burned out. When the officer asked me why I thought he'd pulled me over, I said, "You noticed how poorly I drive a stick shift?" and started apologizing. He laughed and told me that he wasn't going to write a ticket for a car that wasn't mine.

I almost never get tickets. But, I have been pulled over more than once in a predominantly black neighborhood and then warned (probably when they realize I don't fit the profile).

 

[Jos]

UK story

Let's stop assuming the police are on our side | Nina Power | Comment is free | The Guardian

 

[bodecea]

I hate the lectures by cops. It's not their job to do so. Leave it to the judge.

That's where I disagree. I only hate the lectures when they come with a ticket, which in my experience is not the case. When cops lecture me, I make like I'm actually learning something from them, which more often than not leads to getting off with a warning.

True. My cop friends say that it is an unwritten rule that if you're getting a lecture, you won't get the ticket.

 

[bodecea]

In future, Si...never give them ideas when they pull you over.

I always get the ball rolling by working up some tears and crying as they approach, "What did I DOOO???"

Even though I generally know exactly what I did.

Also, flash some cleavage. It never hurts. Especially with dyke cops...

Too funny! I have a friend who got busted for a DUI...not good. She is a gorgeous, tall blonde woman. It was a female cop who busted her. My friend apparently is a bit belligerent when buzzed and asked the cop if this is Tip #11 in the Dyke Guide to Picking up Chicks.

Her night went downhill from there.

I didn't know you were friends with Allie.....

 

[Si modo]

In future, Si...never give them ideas when they pull you over.

I always get the ball rolling by working up some tears and crying as they approach, "What did I DOOO???"

Even though I generally know exactly what I did.

Also, flash some cleavage. It never hurts. Especially with dyke cops...

Too funny! I have a friend who got busted for a DUI...not good. She is a gorgeous, tall blonde woman. It was a female cop who busted her. My friend apparently is a bit belligerent when buzzed and asked the cop if this is Tip #11 in the Dyke Guide to Picking up Chicks.

Her night went downhill from there.

I didn't know you were friends with Allie.....

She really feels bad about saying that. Not because she got her ass kicked by the cop (unfortunately she couldn't "prove" it in her complaint even though her face was cut and bruised - disgusting) but because it wasn't all that nice.............................

or smart.

 

[Zander]

never talk to a cop...when he ask what you thought.....say nothing....tell him he pulled you and you are waiting for the reason.....never volunteer anything...

Great advice!

 

[MikeK]

Yup.

Nothing pisses off a cop more than thinking he's nabbed a criminal and finding out he's wrong.

I know two people who had their residences searched (with warrants and everything) and in both cases they said they were shocked by how pissed off (and rude) the cops got when they didn't find the drugs they were sure were there. In one case, the guy had a huge salt water fish tank and some neighbor tipped off the cops thinking he had a grow lamp. The other was the wrong apartment number.

Interesting.

Go here and browse the map: Botched Paramilitary Police Raids

 

[MikeK]

never talk to a cop...when he ask what you thought.....say nothing....tell him he pulled you and you are waiting for the reason.....never volunteer anything...

My response is 99.99% of the time "No, Officer. Why did you pull me over?" But I'm always polite, courteous and thank them for doing their job.

You might be pleased to know you fit with a precise click into the Authoritarian/Submissive personality category.

Congratulations.