How do they survive?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Huh?, Feb 19, 2010.

  1. Huh?

    Huh? leave this space blank

    Sep 17, 2009
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    ONE> 'Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
    could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
    I asked for a half-dozen nuggets.
    'We don't have half-dozen nuggets,' said the ** at the counter.
    'You don't?' I replied.
    'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
    'So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
    'That's right.'
    So, I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
    (Unbelievable, but sadly true...)
    > >
    I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the
    lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
    I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash
    register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
    After the ** had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
    'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
    Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
    I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
    She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
    She had no clue to what had just happened.

    > > THREE A * woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
    and pulling it out very quickly.
    When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
    the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
    using the ATM 'thingy.'
    (Keep shuddering!!)
    > >

    Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
    he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
    typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier,'
    the secretary told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining
    blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
    five 'blank' copies.

    > >
    A ** mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
    take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
    dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
    fine. The mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer...'
    Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. JW Frogen

    JW Frogen Gold Member

    May 10, 2009
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    I am so fucking drunk right now I read this thread as a self help thread!
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2010
  3. rightwinger

    rightwinger Award Winning USMB Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Aug 4, 2009
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    True story...

    I was in a big box hardware store and picked out a couple of two by fours and went to the check-out. The two by fours didn't have bar code markings, so the check out girl pulled out a book to check the price. As she was leafing through the pages, she looked up at me and said "What you call that?"
    I said "Its a two by four"
    So, she went back to the book and still couldn't find it. She asked a second time "What you call that?" So I pointed in the book where it was.

    She sneered at me and said "Oh....a 2-X-4"

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