Glorifying the single mother?

[Aristotle]

I see where AmyNation is coming from. Too often there is this gender bias of the "strength" of single mothers without acknowledging single fathers as well. I believe the acknowledgment is often misplaced, however there are those that do deserve some acknowledgment of their endurance. For example in Los Angeles urban communities there are a lot of impoverished women who've made bad life choices in mate selection. This becomes a psychological pattern and it continues over and over. My question on this matter is, when acknowledging single motherhood, are we also acknowledging the women who continue to make obvious bad choices in mate selection, despite their ability to keep their family afloat?

What I mean by 'obvious bad choices' I am referring to those women in the urban community who consciously get involved with gangsters, drug dealers, pimps, parole violators, etcetera, and for those who are color conscious, this question is cross-racial lines.

 

[Dreamy]

I see where AmyNation is coming from. Too often there is this gender bias of the "strength" of single mothers without acknowledging single fathers as well. I believe the acknowledgment is often misplaced, however there are those that do deserve some acknowledgment of their endurance. For example in Los Angeles urban communities there are a lot of impoverished women who've made bad life choices in mate selection. This becomes a psychological pattern and it continues over and over. My question on this matter is, when acknowledging single motherhood, are we also acknowledging the women who continue to make obvious bad choices in mate selection, despite their ability to keep their family afloat?

What I mean by 'obvious bad choices' I am referring to those women in the urban community who consciously get involved with gangsters, drug dealers, pimps, parole violators, etcetera, and for those who are color conscious, this question is cross-racial lines.

How does one's ability to keep their family afloat solely using government assistance a badge of honor I wonder? Some believe it is.

Getting laid? Easy
Getting laid by a loser? Easy
Getting pregnant? Often easy.
Not using BC-Easy.
Getting pregnant by a loser? Pretty easy for some.
Raising child on the public dole? Easier than working.
Getting hero status for all of the above-Easy in a "everyone gets a trophy society."

 

[Aristotle]

I see where AmyNation is coming from. Too often there is this gender bias of the "strength" of single mothers without acknowledging single fathers as well. I believe the acknowledgment is often misplaced, however there are those that do deserve some acknowledgment of their endurance. For example in Los Angeles urban communities there are a lot of impoverished women who've made bad life choices in mate selection. This becomes a psychological pattern and it continues over and over. My question on this matter is, when acknowledging single motherhood, are we also acknowledging the women who continue to make obvious bad choices in mate selection, despite their ability to keep their family afloat?

What I mean by 'obvious bad choices' I am referring to those women in the urban community who consciously get involved with gangsters, drug dealers, pimps, parole violators, etcetera, and for those who are color conscious, this question is cross-racial lines.

How does one's ability to keep their family afloat solely using government assistance a badge of honor I wonder? Some believe it is.

Getting laid? Easy
Getting laid by a loser? Easy
Getting pregnant? Often easy.
Not using BC-Easy.
Getting pregnant by a loser? Pretty easy for some.
Raising child on the public dole? Easier than working.
Getting hero status for all of the above-Easy in a "everyone gets a trophy society."

I don't think raising a child on public assistance is as easy as you think, in fact if you've lived in the urban community as I have its quite the opposite. For instance many single mothers in impoverished communities also live in crime riddled communities. Not only are you worried about the food you put on the table for your children you also have to worry about the kids being subject to the influence of gangs and drugs, as many women on public assistance were in fact out working and looking for other jobs. There are many cases where siblings were raising siblings while the mother was out working, this leaves kids susceptible to the influence of drugs and gangs. Also schools within these communities that lack funding and after school programs may also push the influence of a life of crime upon the children. So while you may say getting government assistance is easy what about the surrounding influence? Many single mothers cannot just pick up and go to another neighborhood. Moving requires time and money.

I think you also misunderstood my question. Let me rephrase it for you in a different manner:

Upon acknowledging the strength of single motherhood, do we also acknowledge those mothers in those communities who make conscious bad choices in mate selection which produces children?

 

[Dreamy]

I see where AmyNation is coming from. Too often there is this gender bias of the "strength" of single mothers without acknowledging single fathers as well. I believe the acknowledgment is often misplaced, however there are those that do deserve some acknowledgment of their endurance. For example in Los Angeles urban communities there are a lot of impoverished women who've made bad life choices in mate selection. This becomes a psychological pattern and it continues over and over. My question on this matter is, when acknowledging single motherhood, are we also acknowledging the women who continue to make obvious bad choices in mate selection, despite their ability to keep their family afloat?

What I mean by 'obvious bad choices' I am referring to those women in the urban community who consciously get involved with gangsters, drug dealers, pimps, parole violators, etcetera, and for those who are color conscious, this question is cross-racial lines.

How does one's ability to keep their family afloat solely using government assistance a badge of honor I wonder? Some believe it is.

Getting laid? Easy
Getting laid by a loser? Easy
Getting pregnant? Often easy.
Not using BC-Easy.
Getting pregnant by a loser? Pretty easy for some.
Raising child on the public dole? Easier than working.
Getting hero status for all of the above-Easy in a "everyone gets a trophy society."

I don't think raising a child on public assistance is as easy as you think, in fact if you've lived in the urban community as I have its quite the opposite. For instance many single mothers in impoverished communities also live in crime riddled communities. Not only are you worried about the food you put on the table for your children you also have to worry about the kids being subject to the influence of gangs and drugs, as many women on public assistance were in fact out working and looking for other jobs. There are many cases where siblings were raising siblings while the mother was out working, this leaves kids susceptible to the influence of drugs and gangs. Also schools within these communities that lack funding and after school programs may also push the influence of a life of crime upon the children. So while you may say getting government assistance is easy what about the surrounding influence? Many single mothers cannot just pick up and go to another neighborhood. Moving requires time and money.

I think you also misunderstood my question. Let me rephrase it for you in a different manner:

Upon acknowledging the strength of single motherhood, do we also acknowledge those mothers in those communities who make conscious bad choices in mate selection which produces children?

Worrying is part of parenthood. Different worries for different parents perhaps but worries all the same.

Working outside of the home fulltime and raising children is much more difficult imo. I have seen both sides of the coin in my world. Does each side have their own distinct issues? Sure but my issue is that the choice was there before pregnancy and a poor choice was made by some and therefore the consequences will be what they will be. Unless a parent truly fights and claws to have only one baby with one jerk and then work at upward mobility plan they have chosen to keep failing.

Some bad lots in life are preventable and based on the stats of single mothers out there we have some serious issues with women choosing their dismal strife filled existance all because they did not prevent pregnancy by using any and all of the means available. They suffer but more importantly baby suffers. Having a baby before you can give it a fair decent life is selfish and foolish. Having several is shameful.

 

[Aristotle]

How does one's ability to keep their family afloat solely using government assistance a badge of honor I wonder? Some believe it is.

Getting laid? Easy
Getting laid by a loser? Easy
Getting pregnant? Often easy.
Not using BC-Easy.
Getting pregnant by a loser? Pretty easy for some.
Raising child on the public dole? Easier than working.
Getting hero status for all of the above-Easy in a "everyone gets a trophy society."

I don't think raising a child on public assistance is as easy as you think, in fact if you've lived in the urban community as I have its quite the opposite. For instance many single mothers in impoverished communities also live in crime riddled communities. Not only are you worried about the food you put on the table for your children you also have to worry about the kids being subject to the influence of gangs and drugs, as many women on public assistance were in fact out working and looking for other jobs. There are many cases where siblings were raising siblings while the mother was out working, this leaves kids susceptible to the influence of drugs and gangs. Also schools within these communities that lack funding and after school programs may also push the influence of a life of crime upon the children. So while you may say getting government assistance is easy what about the surrounding influence? Many single mothers cannot just pick up and go to another neighborhood. Moving requires time and money.

I think you also misunderstood my question. Let me rephrase it for you in a different manner:

Upon acknowledging the strength of single motherhood, do we also acknowledge those mothers in those communities who make conscious bad choices in mate selection which produces children?

Worrying is part of parenthood. Different worries for different parents perhaps but worries all the same.

Working outside of the home fulltime and raising children is much more difficult imo. I have seen both sides of the coin in my world. Does each side have their own distinct issues? Sure but my issue is that the choice was there before pregnancy and a poor choice was made by some and therefore the consequences will be what they will be. Unless a parent truly fights and claws to have only one baby with one jerk and then work at upward mobility plan they have chosen to keep failing.

Some bad lots in life are preventable and based on the stats of single mothers out there we have some serious issues with women choosing their dismal strife filled existance all because they did not prevent pregnancy by using any and all of the means available. They suffer but more importantly baby suffers. Having a baby before you can give it a fair decent life is selfish and foolish. Having several is shameful.

On that note dreamy you and I are saying the same thing and the way you worded it I am in total agreement. Which is why the question I posed was more towards questioning people who champion single motherhood without acknowledging womwn who've made, and continue to make bad choices while producing children.

 

[uscitizen]

I dont think the OP wishes to demonize single parents. Amynation is questioning if the daily parade is necessary.

I guess they need that extra boost to keep going. I am surprised they have time for facebook.

Exactly.

It's when it's held up as an achievement that concerns me. The look at me, I'm an amazing person because I make sure my child is fed every day.

Yes and likely their child will grow up with the same attitude

ON the other hand more and more grandchildren are being raised by grandparents.

 

[Valerie]

I don't think raising a child on public assistance is as easy as you think, in fact if you've lived in the urban community as I have its quite the opposite. For instance many single mothers in impoverished communities also live in crime riddled communities. Not only are you worried about the food you put on the table for your children you also have to worry about the kids being subject to the influence of gangs and drugs, as many women on public assistance were in fact out working and looking for other jobs. There are many cases where siblings were raising siblings while the mother was out working, this leaves kids susceptible to the influence of drugs and gangs. Also schools within these communities that lack funding and after school programs may also push the influence of a life of crime upon the children. So while you may say getting government assistance is easy what about the surrounding influence? Many single mothers cannot just pick up and go to another neighborhood. Moving requires time and money.

I think you also misunderstood my question. Let me rephrase it for you in a different manner:

Upon acknowledging the strength of single motherhood, do we also acknowledge those mothers in those communities who make conscious bad choices in mate selection which produces children?

Worrying is part of parenthood. Different worries for different parents perhaps but worries all the same.

Working outside of the home fulltime and raising children is much more difficult imo. I have seen both sides of the coin in my world. Does each side have their own distinct issues? Sure but my issue is that the choice was there before pregnancy and a poor choice was made by some and therefore the consequences will be what they will be. Unless a parent truly fights and claws to have only one baby with one jerk and then work at upward mobility plan they have chosen to keep failing.

Some bad lots in life are preventable and based on the stats of single mothers out there we have some serious issues with women choosing their dismal strife filled existance all because they did not prevent pregnancy by using any and all of the means available. They suffer but more importantly baby suffers. Having a baby before you can give it a fair decent life is selfish and foolish. Having several is shameful.

On that note dreamy you and I are saying the same thing and the way you worded it I am in total agreement. Which is why the question I posed was more towards questioning people who champion single motherhood without acknowledging womwn who've made, and continue to make bad choices while producing children.

You mean to say single mothers who champion themselves and encourage each other however difficult their lives may be? ..And all you guys can do is plod on as if they need to be reminded to feel ashamed of themselves...

 

[AmyNation]

No one said they should be ashamed, in fact I've repeatedly said the opposite. However, as another poster said, single parent status should be seen as a cautionary tale.

 

[Dreamy]

Worrying is part of parenthood. Different worries for different parents perhaps but worries all the same.

Working outside of the home fulltime and raising children is much more difficult imo. I have seen both sides of the coin in my world. Does each side have their own distinct issues? Sure but my issue is that the choice was there before pregnancy and a poor choice was made by some and therefore the consequences will be what they will be. Unless a parent truly fights and claws to have only one baby with one jerk and then work at upward mobility plan they have chosen to keep failing.

Some bad lots in life are preventable and based on the stats of single mothers out there we have some serious issues with women choosing their dismal strife filled existance all because they did not prevent pregnancy by using any and all of the means available. They suffer but more importantly baby suffers. Having a baby before you can give it a fair decent life is selfish and foolish. Having several is shameful.

On that note dreamy you and I are saying the same thing and the way you worded it I am in total agreement. Which is why the question I posed was more towards questioning people who champion single motherhood without acknowledging womwn who've made, and continue to make bad choices while producing children.

You mean to say single mothers who champion themselves and encourage each other however difficult their lives may be? ..And all you guys can do is plod on as if they need to be reminded to feel ashamed of themselves...

The stats you posted earlier are very telling about the dismal state of single motherhood. The children pay for the careless choices of the parents. Sad.

Encouraging people in life to rise above adversity is fine. Making single motherhood look like a choice to aspire to achieve is both foolish and silly.

 

[Valerie]

No one said they should be ashamed, in fact I've repeatedly said the opposite. However, as another poster said, single parent status should be seen as a cautionary tale.

No one said they should be "glorified" either or all the other projections being made in this thread, but I'm sure single mothers everywhere appreciate your pointing to them for your most earnest warnings in life... Maybe if single moms project a more dismal and less inspirational public existence the next generation will be better off for that cautionary tale.

 

[Aristotle]

Worrying is part of parenthood. Different worries for different parents perhaps but worries all the same.

Working outside of the home fulltime and raising children is much more difficult imo. I have seen both sides of the coin in my world. Does each side have their own distinct issues? Sure but my issue is that the choice was there before pregnancy and a poor choice was made by some and therefore the consequences will be what they will be. Unless a parent truly fights and claws to have only one baby with one jerk and then work at upward mobility plan they have chosen to keep failing.

Some bad lots in life are preventable and based on the stats of single mothers out there we have some serious issues with women choosing their dismal strife filled existance all because they did not prevent pregnancy by using any and all of the means available. They suffer but more importantly baby suffers. Having a baby before you can give it a fair decent life is selfish and foolish. Having several is shameful.

On that note dreamy you and I are saying the same thing and the way you worded it I am in total agreement. Which is why the question I posed was more towards questioning people who champion single motherhood without acknowledging womwn who've made, and continue to make bad choices while producing children.

You mean to say single mothers who champion themselves and encourage each other however difficult their lives may be? ..And all you guys can do is plod on as if they need to be reminded to feel ashamed of themselves...

I'm not doing anything just highlighting a societal fact. Personally I don't think a woman who makes the conscious decision to bear a child by men who are worthless worthy of being acknowledgment.

 

[AmyNation]

I'd settle for society being more honest about the abject poverty single mothers live in, that their children are more likely to abuse drugs/alcohol, to be sexually active teenagers and to be convicted of a crime.

 

[Katzndogz]

If they lived in abject poverty I might agree. My slut step granddaughter chose single motherhood as a career and has an income of well over $5,000 a month. If her kids grow up taking drugs it is because the slut is an addict.

 

[arKangel]

Communists have been explaining why they glorify single motherhood for over a hundred years.

It's no secret.
The pinko's hate families.

 

[Aristotle]

I have a question for the forum. Do we deny personal responsibility?

 

[Katzndogz]

Communists have been explaining why they glorify single motherhood for over a hundred years.

It's no secret.
The pinko's hate families.

The state is both mother and father.

 

[jillian]

Communists have been explaining why they glorify single motherhood for over a hundred years.

It's no secret.
The pinko's hate families.

that must be it

 

[jillian]

I'd settle for society being more honest about the abject poverty single mothers live in, that their children are more likely to abuse drugs/alcohol, to be sexually active teenagers and to be convicted of a crime.

all true.

then isn't the answer to teach kids about birth control and safe sex and then to have abortion be readily available and, hopefully, infrequently used?

yet the places where the rate of single motherhood is the highest are the places where those things aren't the norm.

 

[alan1]

I have a question for the forum. Do we deny personal responsibility?

The moment the government forces me to support another person via taxation and welfare, my decision on that matter has been revoked.

 

[Aristotle]

I have a question for the forum. Do we deny personal responsibility?

The moment the government forces me to support another person via taxation and welfare, my decision on that matter has been revoked.

Well I do agree with the above but in retrospect the government does not force you but I see your point.