Glorifying the single mother?

[High_Gravity]

I never said we should trash single mothers, and I never said they were to blame for divorce. I said if you're a single mother, you choose poorly in a father for your child.
However, I don't think we should be holding up the status of single parent as something wonderful or that caring for your own child as something special.

Thats true in some cases but not all the time, I know several women whos husband have died in Iraq and Afghanistan, I don't think they chose poorly in the father of their children.

Sorry, I missed the posts where you addressed this.

 

[High_Gravity]

Maybe you should have titled your thread Glorifying the Single Slut Mother? Because when you have to qualify it it takes away from your point.

Whats wrong with single slut mothers?

 

[AmyNation]

Maybe you should have titled your thread Glorifying the Single Slut Mother? Because when you have to qualify it it takes away from your point.

I'm not speaking of only women who sleep around. I think if you married an asshole and hoped that getting knocked up would bind him to you, you shouldn't be basking in your single parent status either.

However, I clearly failed in my OP, I will try not to start with a rant in the future.

 

[Valerie]

Right? I guess some people get too upset when single mothers proceed with a positive approach to difficult circumstances by offering each other daily encouragement and support. Damn all those evil women to hell lest they "glorify" themselves!

I think you're missing the OPs point. I'm also wondering if you are a single mother since you happen to be taking a lot of offense to her viewpoint.

There has definitely been a disconnect by a few on what the OP is offering here.

Oh but of course the OP has no "disconnect" whatsoever with the single mothers she sees on Facebook and the OPs big "point" is not taking any "offense to their viewpoints" at all...riiiiiiiight? Maybe the OP should speak-up directly to those women on Facebook and get back to us about how well that goes toward making her precious "point".

 

[Ravi]

Let me break this down for the confused.

Being a single mother or father does not grant you automatic "hero status".

Let's just take parenting on a case by case basis and not presume any parent is a "hero" simply because the "single" parent chose a runaway/absentee dad or mom as the sperm and egg donor.

A single parent that strives to provide a good life for their child/children IS A HERO. They could walk away from their responsibilities just like countless thousands of people.

 

[jillian]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

no. i haven't seen anyone "glorify" single-motherhood.

neither have you.

and i find it odd that "once a day" something i've never seen on facebook would pop up in your feed.

i don't know why you even think it's an issue. if someone works their butt off taking care of a kid, there's nothing wrong with recognizing the effort.

 

[Dreamy]

Maybe you should have titled your thread Glorifying the Single Slut Mother? Because when you have to qualify it it takes away from your point.

Whats wrong with single slut mothers?

Take this one out to the woodshed please.

 

[Ravi]

Maybe you should have titled your thread Glorifying the Single Slut Mother? Because when you have to qualify it it takes away from your point.

I'm not speaking of only women who sleep around. I think if you married an asshole and hoped that getting knocked up would bind him to you, you shouldn't be basking in your single parent status either.

However, I clearly failed in my OP, I will try not to start with a rant in the future.

When you put it that way, it sounds as if your Facebook friend is the target of your ire, not single parents in general.

 

[AmyNation]

When did "not abandoning your child" become a hero worthy status?

 

[Dreamy]

Let me break this down for the confused.

Being a single mother or father does not grant you automatic "hero status".

Let's just take parenting on a case by case basis and not presume any parent is a "hero" simply because the "single" parent chose a runaway/absentee dad or mom as the sperm and egg donor.

A single parent that strives to provide a good life for their child/children IS A HERO. They could walk away from their responsibilities just like countless thousands of people.

Case by case basis. The OP's point was simply that being a single mother does not mean you are automatically a good mother. Add in the fact that some women and men truly pick some obvious losers to make babies with adds to the premise.

 

[Ravi]

When did "not abandoning your child" become a hero worthy status?

Probably right around the time people started demonizing single mothers.

 

[AmyNation]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

no. i haven't seen anyone "glorify" single-motherhood.

neither have you.

and i find it odd that "once a day" something i've never seen on facebook would pop up in your feed.

i don't know why you even think it's an issue. if someone works their butt off taking care of a kid, there's nothing wrong with recognizing the effort.

Per usual, I'm always grateful when people tell me what I know

 

[Dreamy]

Let me break this down for the confused.

Being a single mother or father does not grant you automatic "hero status".

Let's just take parenting on a case by case basis and not presume any parent is a "hero" simply because the "single" parent chose a runaway/absentee dad or mom as the sperm and egg donor.

A single parent that strives to provide a good life for their child/children IS A HERO. They could walk away from their responsibilities just like countless thousands of people.

Um, any parent could walk away. Being a single parent(not discussing widowed people)can sometimes be avoided but some people leave their brains far away from their libidos and really should not be surprised when they end up alone raising the children because the dirtbag they so "loved" was nothing more than someone looking to get laid...by any fool who would have him or her.

 

[nodoginnafight]

I'm a single father who was raised by a single mom.
I think anything that glamorizes single-parent homes is a bad thing. You want to avoid it at almost all costs. We are not heros or heroines - we are cautionary tales.

But it IS hard work and when people recognize that - well ... I think it's OK to tell someone that you appreciate their hard work.

 

[HUGGY]

Glorifying the single mother?


What is she wearing?

 

[Soggy in NOLA]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that hands out trophies for last place...

The bar has definitely been lowered. But, that is liberalism... a lowering tide lowers all boats.

 

[Soggy in NOLA]

Has anyone noticed in the last few years, the glorifying of the single mother? At least once a day my Facebook feed shows yet another "single mothers are superheroes" or some such thing.

Why?

Single mothers= women who choose poor life partners.

What is with the attempt to turn caring for your own child into some sort of special achievement?

no. i haven't seen anyone "glorify" single-motherhood.

neither have you.

and i find it odd that "once a day" something i've never seen on facebook would pop up in your feed.

i don't know why you even think it's an issue. if someone works their butt off taking care of a kid, there's nothing wrong with recognizing the effort.

Per usual, I'm always grateful when people tell me what I know

Don't let it bother you... Jillian exists in a perpetual state of pissed off and has this weird need to tell everybody what they are saying or thinking.

 

[Dreamy]

I'm a single father who was raised by a single mom.
I think anything that glamorizes single-parent homes is a bad thing. You want to avoid it at almost all costs. We are not heros or heroines - we are cautionary tales.

But it IS hard work and when people recognize that - I think it's OK to tell someone that you appreciate their hard work.

Valid observation.

What I want to add is that I know one girl I greatly admire. Pregnant at 18, lots of help from family. Baby father is a jerk and father of convenience. When he can he shows up to be a Dad. Good times only of course. She works and goes to school and is raising a beautiful young girl of seven now. I truly admire her and I tell her so often. However she herself would tell you that her path has been a tough one. She is seeing a wonderful man now but she has never touted her single parent status as anything more than something she does because she loves her child. She said she wants better for her own child and hopes she one day avoids the same pitfalls.

She is one.

I can also think of several other women who are failing at the same situation for various reasons. They are no heroes to their children or the world. They are suckers and fools for crappy men, some more than once. One will not be certain of the paternity of her child until it is born. Single parents as heroes? Not always, anymore than all married parents are heroes and very few married parents get called heroes. They should for giving their children stability and both parents when possible.

 

[nodoginnafight]

I'm a single father who was raised by a single mom.
I think anything that glamorizes single-parent homes is a bad thing. You want to avoid it at almost all costs. We are not heros or heroines - we are cautionary tales.

But it IS hard work and when people recognize that - I think it's OK to tell someone that you appreciate their hard work.

Valid observation.

What I want to add is that I know one girl I greatly admire. Pregnant at 18, lots of help from family. Baby father is a jerk and father of convenience. When he can he shows up to be a Dad. Good times only of course. She works and goes to school and is raising a beautiful young girl of seven now. I truly admire her and I tell her so often. However she herself would tell you that her path has been a tough one. She is seeing a wonderful man now but she has never touted her single parent status as anything more than something she does because she loves her child. She said she wants better for her own child and hopes she one day avoids the same pitfalls.

She is one.

I can also think of several other women who are failing at the same situation for various reasons. They are no heroes to their children or the world. They are suckers and fools for crappy men, some more than once. One will not be certain of the paternity of her child until it is born. Single parents as heroes? Not always, anymore than all married parents are heroes and very few married parents get called heroes. They should for giving their children stability and both parents when possible.

The word "hero" is overused to the point of meaningless these days. But are you making an assuption that a single-parent home is less stable?

I would argue that is not always the case. In some cases a divorce is what provides a more stable home.

 

[Dreamy]

I'm a single father who was raised by a single mom.
I think anything that glamorizes single-parent homes is a bad thing. You want to avoid it at almost all costs. We are not heros or heroines - we are cautionary tales.

But it IS hard work and when people recognize that - I think it's OK to tell someone that you appreciate their hard work.

Valid observation.

What I want to add is that I know one girl I greatly admire. Pregnant at 18, lots of help from family. Baby father is a jerk and father of convenience. When he can he shows up to be a Dad. Good times only of course. She works and goes to school and is raising a beautiful young girl of seven now. I truly admire her and I tell her so often. However she herself would tell you that her path has been a tough one. She is seeing a wonderful man now but she has never touted her single parent status as anything more than something she does because she loves her child. She said she wants better for her own child and hopes she one day avoids the same pitfalls.

She is one.

I can also think of several other women who are failing at the same situation for various reasons. They are no heroes to their children or the world. They are suckers and fools for crappy men, some more than once. One will not be certain of the paternity of her child until it is born. Single parents as heroes? Not always, anymore than all married parents are heroes and very few married parents get called heroes. They should for giving their children stability and both parents when possible.

The word "hero" is overused to the point of meaningless these days. But are you making an assuption that a single-parent home is less stable?

I would argue that is not always the case. In some cases a divorce is what provides a more stable home.

I agree it is overused. And no I make no assumptions and that is exactly what I am addressing here. The assumption that a single parent is automatically a hero. As I stated, take parenting on a case by case basis.