Democrat's version of tax cuts...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by fuzzykitten99, Sep 13, 2004.

  1. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    I am sure that this has been posted before, but I have never seen it here. It's pretty good anyway!


    Democrats Version of Tax Cuts

    If you don't understand the Democrats' version of tax cuts (and you are not alone), this will explain it for you:

    50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A refund was then due. The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the Democrat National Committee's interpretation of fairness.

    After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the wealthiest ticket holders. That would be unconscionable. The DNC plan says:

    People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money to spend. Call it an "Earned" Income Ticket Credit". Persons "earn" it by demonstrating little ambition, few skills and poor work habits, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.

    People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that's only fair.

    People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don't need a refund. If they can afford a $50 ticket, then they must not be paying enough taxes.

    People in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they have way too much to spend.

    The people driving by the stadium who couldn't afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn't pay anything in, because they need the most help.

    Now do you understand? If not, contact Representative Richard Gephart or Senator Tom Daschle for assistance.


    But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you
    must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.

    1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.


    2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.


    3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S.nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.


    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.


    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.


    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.


    7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.


    8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.


    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.


    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.


    11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.


    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.


    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.


    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.


    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.


    16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.


    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.


    18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.


    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.


    20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.


    Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
     
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  2. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    what, no liberal response? well...it must be true then.
     
  3. DKSuddeth
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    DKSuddeth Senior Member

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    you put it in the humor section, were liberals supposed to respond? :rolleyes:
     
  4. CSM
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    CSM Senior Member

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    Liberals can't respond once it is put in the humor section. Liberals have no sense of humor.
     
  5. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    See? Now THAT's funny!
     
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  6. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    :teeth:
     

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