Dear Diary...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Shattered, Jan 26, 2006.

  1. Shattered
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    Shattered Guest

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    The Dog's Diary



    7 am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favorite!
    9 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    10 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
    11 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favorite!
    1 PM - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
    3 PM - Oh Boy! Animal Planet! My favorite!
    5 PM - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favorite!
    6 PM - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favorite!
    7 PM - Oh Boy! Playing with my "baby"! My favorite!
    8 PM - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Daddy's Bed! My favorite!





    The Cat's Diary





    Day 183 of my captivity.... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.



    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and commented about what a good little kitty I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.



    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was because of my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
     
  2. Abbey Normal
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    Abbey Normal Senior Member

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    Tried to rep you. :laugh:
     
  3. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    Sent that out en masse....or is that mass?? Anyway, e-mailed to all. :laugh:
     

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