Cruise/Ajay: Unicron Christianity

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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This is a media-prayer inspired by George Lucas's THX-1138 and referencing the Orwellian robot Unicron.

Signing off,





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American celebrity Tom Cruise and Internet-blogger Ajay Satan were talking about two iconic Transformers (Hasbro) robot-warriors Starscream and Acid Storm who both transformed into nifty fighter-jets. Cruise and Satan were using the media to discuss the modernism symbolism of Starscream and Acid Storm since they were both 'war-toys.' Cruise and Satan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their joint-work and became best friends!

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Cruise was very world-savvy and exposed to fashion, while Ajay Satan was a Fanon-scholar and revolutionary politics theorist and democracy-crusader blogging on the Internet about the value of pedestrian activism in the modern age. Cruise was a yuppie and Ajay was a hippie (in other words). Cruise appeared in magazines looking like a media doll/model, while Ajay posted pictures of himself as a pro-Thoreau philosopher, sometimes dressed as a poetic Cossack (but not a Marxist). The two were as different as night and day. Yet, they shared intellectual space with Starscream and Acid Storm. Cruise and Satan were modern media culture 'diplomats.'

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Cruise made films about futuristic Orwellian fears as well as cultural paradoxes and was a big fan of cop-shows and George Lucas, while Ajay Satan wrote Christianity-oriented modernism-paranoia comics-adapted 'fan-fics' on the World Wide Web. Ajay's stories had nifty titles such as Cyber-Merlin, Wendigo of Wall Street, Jazil: Demon of Detroit, and Leatherface of Hamelin. Cruise and Ajay both loved Lucas's dystopian vision film THX-1138, however, and wondered about the 'direction' of modern entertainment and cyber-oriented entertainment. Cruise and Ajay both talked about the general 'aesthetics of A.I. folklore' after Cruise completed his futuristic-crime-matrix film Minority Report and after Ajay wrote his iconic A.I. spook-tale Utopian Siren: Angelia of the LAPD on WritingForums.com.

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As Cruise and Ajay's work with media gained a steady following, their friends and fans considered them 'modern-day prophets' who were ironically socially-accessible as 'community leaders.' Cruise and Ajay started giving interviews during which they expressed the optimistic opinion that cyber-networks and modern media would unite humanity and finally banish anti-globalization terrorism forever. Cruise and Ajay were basically two idealists, and the world they envisioned was one of beauty and civil friendship.

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As with any idealistic movement, there comes agents of hell. An anti-media crime-witch named Harley Quinn, very attractive, was making graffiti in NYC with statements such as, "The media is junk-food!" and "Cruise and Ajay are 'tin-men' only!" Soon, Cruise and Ajay were being made fun of by their critics who were suggesting they were being up-ended by the diabolical Harley Quinn who had now robbed a major Swiss bank and threatened to create anarchy at a televised Padres MLB game in San Diego, California.

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After Harley Quinn became a 'celebrity,' a psychotic American terrorist calling himself 'Joker' allied himself to her and began robbing banks and movie studios across L.A. and Hollywood and offices/labs in Silicon Valley. Joker claimed that Cruise and Ajay were nothing more than 'media-puppets' and soon, the press was calling Joker and Harley Quinn the new age Bonnie and Clyde. Cruise and Ajay were frightened and decided to get bodyguards. Joker was no joke!


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As all the pressure was mounting, Cruise and Ajay drifted apart, and their followers went to their respective 'culture-camps.' Cruise and Ajay even engaged in a minor 'media-war' and debated about the direction of modern media. Cruise favoured mainstream Hollywood, while Ajay started endorsing grassroots groups again. As Cruise and Ajay's little 'civil war' prompted comic book writers to generate anarchy-themed RoboTech and Aeon Flux stories, Joker and Harley Quinn chuckled, claiming that the stress of revolution had driven America's media-dolls to fight like children. Was this the true Cyber-Dragon of discord (or harmless pedestrian rhetorics)?

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All this terrible intrigue was literally bending the space-time of American metaphysics. Consumers, Internet-chatters, and social critics alike wondered if they were witnessing a new form of 'mob psychology' more mindless arguably than the one seen in Ancient Rome! Don Imus wondered if this space-time bending of metaphysics would forever alter American journalism itself. Cruise and Ajay were very concerned indeed...

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A dark demon from the underworld saw the Cruise-Ajay 'civil-war' and decided to ascend and debate with them to see if they were succumbing to the anarchy-magic of Joker and Harley Quinn. This underworld demon was Unicron and he could transform into a giant planet-eating robot. Cruise and Ajay realized Unicron wanted to debate with them about the two iconic Transformers (Hasbro) robot-warrior toys that won then the Nobel Peace Prize (before their 'civil-war' began). Cruise and Ajay agreed to debate with Unicron, and Unicron was poised for a real brain-teaser. What would Unicron say?

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CRUISE: Unicron, your message is too 'ominous.'
AJAY: Yeah, you need to think more optimistically...
UNICRON: Why should I? You two couldn't even agree about toys!

CRUISE: Yes, but all intellectual developments come with intrigue.
AJAY: We intend to learn from all this...
UNICRON: What is education when compared to piracy?

CRUISE: Exploitation is not the same thing as imagination.
AJAY: Yes, piracy only creates selfishness (never etiquette).
UNICRON: How will you two redeem Wall Street?

CRUISE: I intend to promote video-games about democracy.
AJAY: I intend to promote stories about teamwork.
UNICRON: I dare say you have 'followers' who'd side against your rivals!

CRUISE: All social networks have to deal with governance complexity.
AJAY: Our 'civil-war' will be resolved, and we'll see lots of fun industry.
UNICRON: You talk as if you're priests, but I foresee an alien invasion of Earth!

CRUISE: We'll align our forces to support humanity...
AJAY: We might even discover grace under pressure!
UNICRON: I propose you create teams to deal with predator-creatures I will send.

CRUISE: Are these 'adversarial predators' meant to inspire us?
AJAY: Do you want this 'engagement' with these predators to serve as catharsis?
UNICRON: It will be a metaphysics-apocalypse that will end your silly 'civil-war.'

CRUISE: We accept your challenge!
AJAY: I'll organize my team; maybe Cruise will help me.
UNICRON: You'll need luck (and seriously skilled allies). Good luck,

CRUISE: Return then to the Underworld.
AJAY: Yes, and call back your creature-messengers once they've 'edified' us.
UNICRON: Farewell...

Cruise and Ajay arrayed their teams and dealt with a horde of brain-freezing miniature creatures Unicron showered down on Los Angeles. Cruise and Ajay's teams were considered 'mercenaries of the night' and this great tribulation removed in their hearts all doubts regarding the frailty of democracy; doubts planted in America by Joker and Harley Quin. It was ironically an 'action-packed' American movement. Should Unicron have received all the credit?

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After Unicron's creature-messengers returned to the Underworld, Cruise and Ajay ended their civil-war and peace reigned as the two once again became allied media-diplomats. Joker and Harley Quinn started diminishing in popularity, and there were fewer and fewer movies glorifying violence, anarchy, insanity, and anti-democratic sentiments. Cruise and Ajay wondered if the media was inspiring the human mind itself, showing mankind the path that would mark the end of maladies such as domestic violence, terrorism, and corporate corruption. Was this only the First Epoch of Human History?

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After some years, comic book writers started calling Cruise and Ajay the real Green Lantern and the real Green Arrow (respectively). Green Lantern and Green Arrow were DC Comics avatars (superheroes) who symbolized democratic idealism and justice in the modern world. Cruise and Ajay donned the identities of Green Lantern and Green Arrow and even showed up for an AID charity-event at the White House dressed up as the two comic book heroes. Everything was working out well, and President Trump declared this the first achievement of media-oriented American politics --- something to help everyone forget about the scars of the 1992 Los Angeles Race Riots and 9/11.

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GOD: I like what Tom Cruise and Ajay Satan accomplished.
SATAN: Yes, they were much more patriotic than Joker and Harley Quinn.
GOD: I agree; perhaps the media has created dependable role-models.
SATAN: That's not what Woody Allen prophesied in his fame-sardonic film Celebrity.
GOD: Celebrity is merely a paranoid-Polaroid of America's obsession with daydreams.
SATAN: Yes, in Celebrity we see superstar Leo DiCaprio portraying 'American wildness.'
GOD: If Cruise and Ajay play their cards right, they'll become the Democracy-Duo!
SATAN: That's what Americans need --- pedestrian optimism.
GOD: Yes, people have become cynical about CNN, Wal-Mart, Hollywood, Facebook.
SATAN: Perhaps Ajay can write a story titled The Demon's Internet!
GOD: Perhaps Cruise should talk at the Yale commencement-ceremony about Dianetics.
SATAN: Media can link politics with aesthetics...
GOD: That's the power of technology.
SATAN: I wonder if Joker and Harley Quinn will be remembered only as 'criminals.'
GOD: No. Radicals are always romanticized. It's almost a law...
SATAN: I think the new sci-fi horror-film Alien: Covenant appeals to the MTV generation.
GOD: Alien: Covenant characterizes modern fears about failures in evolution/teamwork.
SATAN: Ridley Scott should win the Nobel Prize for making that symbolic film!
GOD: Let's go watch Alien: Covenant on Netflix!
SATAN: Popcorn has become manna...
GOD: What will the AntiChrist say about the Internet.
SATAN: "Facebook is an opiate for groupies."

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:dance:

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