- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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This is a consumerism-parody dedicated to First Lady Melania Trump, and it's inspired by the films The Founder and King Ralph.
Signing off (Happy Halloween),
====
"There was an eerie man who built a large log-cabin in the forests of the Pine Barrens in New Jersey (USA). This man was named Mr. Stupid, since he had a bizarre dumb look on his face, but it was insidiously intentional, so he was clearly a villain. Mr. Stupid despised fat women, since they represented the worst of consumerism --- Burger King cholesterol. That's why he retreated to the woods --- to escape from the 'realm' of fat women."
"Mr. Stupid would collect political cartoons of U.S. First Lady Melania Trump from the Internet, since he had WiFi in his log-cabin. Mr. Stupid cherished his Melania cartoons, since they reminded him why capitalism could be 'fancy' without being heinously slovenly, so he considered Melania his 'secret muse' in his 'private war' against fat women, the abomination of consumerism and cholesterol-culture. If anything happened to Mr. Stupid's First Lady cartoons, he'd completely be enraged."
"However, an eerie axe-wielding zombie was also roaming the forests of the Pine Barrens. His name was Jason, and he was a minion of the underworld. Jason didn't care for anyone or anything, fat women, beautiful female politicians, ugly warlocks, or even excellent musicians. Jason was set on destroying the log-cabin of Mr. Stupid, concluding that the Pine Barrens would never be inhabited by some kind of 'consumerism-philosopher'."
"The night before Jason invaded Mr. Stupid's log-cabin, Mr. Stupid made two child-like color-pencil drawings of a mythical A.I. robot named Soundwave (an espionage-geared evil warrior-robot) and a mythical blue dragon. Mr. Stupid gave himself the special artist pseudonym, 'Abishai' (after a relative of the Hebrew king David). The Soundwave and Blue Dragon drawings Mr. Stupid made reminded him that creativity was the best cure to pure cynicism, and Mr. Stupid resolved to leave the Pine Barrens early in the morning and dart to Burger King for an incredible mushroom-and-Swiss burger. When Jason arrived the next afternoon, all the zombie found was Mr. Stupid's funny drawings."
"Jason sat down and took the color pencils Mr. Stupid left behind and made a rather nifty drawing of the DC Comics superhero/archer Green Arrow. You see, Jason was actually a gifted artist, and he wanted to make a rendition of Green Arrow, since archery reminded the zombie of why consumerism warranted no selective prosecution of any 'type' of human --- be they a fat woman, a clever accountant, a handsome stockbroker, or even a perfect idealist. Jason left his Green Arrow drawing in the cabin so the person who found it might wonder if all the drawings in the cabin were 'mystical engrams' of some kind of 'metaphysical disease.' Jason had pulled off a great 'anti-social prank'."
"When Mr. Stupid returned to civilization and ate a Burger King sandwich, he decided to visit the White House with a cartoon drawing of an idealistic/valiant fictional A.I. robot named Skyfire who obviously symbolize perfect optimism. When First Lady Melania Trump saw the drawing, she remarked that consumerism/entertainment had yielded a nice image of a handsome and patriotic fictional robot. Mr. Stupid told Melania that Skyfire was the new age 'avatar' of ideal democratic values. He then told her that the U.S. government should invest in 'evangelism propaganda'."
"That's just what the First Lady recommended to her husband, and the following week, President Donald Trump began tweeting about the sacred value of Jesus-comics. Suddenly, more and more Americans were thinking about limitless potential of consumerism and why Pizza Hut and Burger King reminded them of the reality of lifestyle yoga. Melania Trump wondered if the CIA was concerned about a nuclear-engagement with North Korea as Black Friday (the annual shopping-day following Thanksgiving) approached in America. Fortunately, a Jesus-comics artist/writer named Cristina Ragu was invested in all kinds of stories about Christ saving women from obesity. Ragu's stories represented a focused meditation on the psychiatry potential in consumerism obsession."
TRUMP: I really like Ragu's Jesus-stories about female obesity!
CARTER: Yes, Mr. President, the First Lady thinks they're 'diplomatic.'
TRUMP: Ragu herself is a rather obese woman.
CARTER: Yes, the New Yorker has nicknamed her 'Chubby-Girl.'
TRUMP: I wonder what happened to Mr. Stupid...
CARTER: He used to be a dastardly fellow, but he's now a born-again Christian!
TRUMP: So he's a 'reformer.'
CARTER: Indeed; there's a profile-page of Mr. Stupid on Facebook now.
TRUMP: Facebook is bigger than Toys 'R Us, Carter.
CARTER: That's true...
TRUMP: Consumerism is a real seesaw.
CARTER: That's what they say!
TRUMP: There should be a 'capitalism fraternity.'
CARTER: I think the Masons are something like that.
TRUMP: Not really; the Masons are more like a secret-society.
CARTER: Oh, yes, but there are established 'anthropological clubs.'
TRUMP: Such as the National Rifle Association?
CARTER: Yes, so I think the First Lady and Chubby-Girl will appreciate 'terrorism humor.'
TRUMP: That's what we need now --- humor directed at everyday fears (e.g., terrorism).
CARTER: That's because capitalism requires absolute obedience to medicine.
====
Signing off (Happy Halloween),
====
"There was an eerie man who built a large log-cabin in the forests of the Pine Barrens in New Jersey (USA). This man was named Mr. Stupid, since he had a bizarre dumb look on his face, but it was insidiously intentional, so he was clearly a villain. Mr. Stupid despised fat women, since they represented the worst of consumerism --- Burger King cholesterol. That's why he retreated to the woods --- to escape from the 'realm' of fat women."
"Mr. Stupid would collect political cartoons of U.S. First Lady Melania Trump from the Internet, since he had WiFi in his log-cabin. Mr. Stupid cherished his Melania cartoons, since they reminded him why capitalism could be 'fancy' without being heinously slovenly, so he considered Melania his 'secret muse' in his 'private war' against fat women, the abomination of consumerism and cholesterol-culture. If anything happened to Mr. Stupid's First Lady cartoons, he'd completely be enraged."
"However, an eerie axe-wielding zombie was also roaming the forests of the Pine Barrens. His name was Jason, and he was a minion of the underworld. Jason didn't care for anyone or anything, fat women, beautiful female politicians, ugly warlocks, or even excellent musicians. Jason was set on destroying the log-cabin of Mr. Stupid, concluding that the Pine Barrens would never be inhabited by some kind of 'consumerism-philosopher'."
"The night before Jason invaded Mr. Stupid's log-cabin, Mr. Stupid made two child-like color-pencil drawings of a mythical A.I. robot named Soundwave (an espionage-geared evil warrior-robot) and a mythical blue dragon. Mr. Stupid gave himself the special artist pseudonym, 'Abishai' (after a relative of the Hebrew king David). The Soundwave and Blue Dragon drawings Mr. Stupid made reminded him that creativity was the best cure to pure cynicism, and Mr. Stupid resolved to leave the Pine Barrens early in the morning and dart to Burger King for an incredible mushroom-and-Swiss burger. When Jason arrived the next afternoon, all the zombie found was Mr. Stupid's funny drawings."
"Jason sat down and took the color pencils Mr. Stupid left behind and made a rather nifty drawing of the DC Comics superhero/archer Green Arrow. You see, Jason was actually a gifted artist, and he wanted to make a rendition of Green Arrow, since archery reminded the zombie of why consumerism warranted no selective prosecution of any 'type' of human --- be they a fat woman, a clever accountant, a handsome stockbroker, or even a perfect idealist. Jason left his Green Arrow drawing in the cabin so the person who found it might wonder if all the drawings in the cabin were 'mystical engrams' of some kind of 'metaphysical disease.' Jason had pulled off a great 'anti-social prank'."
"When Mr. Stupid returned to civilization and ate a Burger King sandwich, he decided to visit the White House with a cartoon drawing of an idealistic/valiant fictional A.I. robot named Skyfire who obviously symbolize perfect optimism. When First Lady Melania Trump saw the drawing, she remarked that consumerism/entertainment had yielded a nice image of a handsome and patriotic fictional robot. Mr. Stupid told Melania that Skyfire was the new age 'avatar' of ideal democratic values. He then told her that the U.S. government should invest in 'evangelism propaganda'."
"That's just what the First Lady recommended to her husband, and the following week, President Donald Trump began tweeting about the sacred value of Jesus-comics. Suddenly, more and more Americans were thinking about limitless potential of consumerism and why Pizza Hut and Burger King reminded them of the reality of lifestyle yoga. Melania Trump wondered if the CIA was concerned about a nuclear-engagement with North Korea as Black Friday (the annual shopping-day following Thanksgiving) approached in America. Fortunately, a Jesus-comics artist/writer named Cristina Ragu was invested in all kinds of stories about Christ saving women from obesity. Ragu's stories represented a focused meditation on the psychiatry potential in consumerism obsession."
TRUMP: I really like Ragu's Jesus-stories about female obesity!
CARTER: Yes, Mr. President, the First Lady thinks they're 'diplomatic.'
TRUMP: Ragu herself is a rather obese woman.
CARTER: Yes, the New Yorker has nicknamed her 'Chubby-Girl.'
TRUMP: I wonder what happened to Mr. Stupid...
CARTER: He used to be a dastardly fellow, but he's now a born-again Christian!
TRUMP: So he's a 'reformer.'
CARTER: Indeed; there's a profile-page of Mr. Stupid on Facebook now.
TRUMP: Facebook is bigger than Toys 'R Us, Carter.
CARTER: That's true...
TRUMP: Consumerism is a real seesaw.
CARTER: That's what they say!
TRUMP: There should be a 'capitalism fraternity.'
CARTER: I think the Masons are something like that.
TRUMP: Not really; the Masons are more like a secret-society.
CARTER: Oh, yes, but there are established 'anthropological clubs.'
TRUMP: Such as the National Rifle Association?
CARTER: Yes, so I think the First Lady and Chubby-Girl will appreciate 'terrorism humor.'
TRUMP: That's what we need now --- humor directed at everyday fears (e.g., terrorism).
CARTER: That's because capitalism requires absolute obedience to medicine.
====
