- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
This is a capitalism-prayer inspired by Fight Club.
Signing off,
====
Americans began collecting authentic relics of Big '80s Reaganomics-era consumerism including Sony Walkmans, compact audio cassettes, Apple Macintoshes, McDonald's Happy Meal toys, and Izod shirts. These relics would become collector's items for the future, and archaeologists in the future would certainly consider them symbolic and hence valuable. After all, shouldn't mass commerce-traffic create some vestige of toy-like imagination?
American post-office workers were sending mail across the country as email was replacing paper-mail steadily. Of course, people still sent supplies, parcels, gifts, and groceries though regular land/paper-mail, but email was becoming so darn popular that post-officer workers felt like they were becoming 'obsolete' (like the Pony Express workers of yesteryear!). These post-office workers noted the various Big '80s consumerism relics/toys being mailed across America by consumerism-collecting 'amateur-archaeologists.' The post-office workers now wondered if art itself would be replaced by Facebook and FaceTime(!).
An American Ivy League student named Ajay was blogging on the Internet about the sanctity of bottled-water in this modern age of eco-pollution and wondered if the mass use of email (which saved lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of paper) was good for Earth! After all, the need to cut down trees for wood (necessary for making paper!) was now reduced. American actor/celebrity Matthew McConaughey (star of Contact, Dazed and Confused, and The Lincoln Lawyer) read Ajay's posts and wanted to meet him. when Matt and Ajay met, they realized they were equally and both 'capitalism idealists.' They decided to organize an 'American fight club' in which members would be 'recruited' (or 'tapped') to carry toy water-pistols while working their normal/regular jobs in the summertime and every now and then (without warning!) fire them (as an expression of eco-activism).
Matt became so fascinated by the idea that he had his movie-agents request for script ideas for films about 'modern American romantics' trying to turn the Wal-Mart culture on its head and rejuvenate capitalism with a dose of much-needed 'activism-optimism.' After all, the various/numerous 'anti-TrumpUSA street-protests' were getting rather dry. Ajay and Matt got the idea to invite U.S. President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump to a White House lawn water-gun fight that summer. It would be the capitalism-ritual version of the Indian color-spraying festival of Holi. Trump loved the idea and Melania invited iconic and fun-loving American actress Kirsten Dunst to the 'White House lawn Fight Club sponsored water-gun fight.'
After the news of Ajay and Matt's 'Fight Club' spread, soon, many others wanted to join in, and mini-fight-clubs were popping up across the USA --- including one in Seattle (led by Courtney Love), one in Australia (led by Paul Hogan), one in Germany (led by Boris Becker), and one in Miami, Florida (led by Donald Trump, Jr.). As these 'secret fight clubs' were becoming subculture phenomena (just like comic book media!), the producers of the DC Comics Green Arrow adapted TV series Arrow (starring Stephen Amell) decided to make one episode about these water-gun fight-clubs (in which the 'super-villain' eco-terrorist Ra's al Ghul was involved).
Ajay and Matt now knew their capitalism-crusading Fight Club was a complete success (and glory). They decided to take their 'mission' up to the next level. They asked Matt's celebrity-friend Tom Cruise to help them search for an iconic Swiss bank --- to rob for a media-PR stunt(!). Cruise agreed to help them and showed them an incredible bank with a pretty ominous/awesome security and gauntlet lock system. Ajay and Matt looked at the blueprints and layout of the bank and then went about planning their heist, recruiting 'key members' of Fight Club including attractive female post-office workers, the idealistic American actor Matt Damon, and a few bank employees.
Ajay and Matt burst into the bank with balaclavas and large Blade-Runner themed clear gray plastic toy water-guns. They told the bank employees they were performing a 'capitalism-hoax' as a pro-TrumpUSA media-stunt. They brought their own Fight Club camera-men (also wearing ski-masks) and used their undercover female post-office workers to front as hostages (should anyone suspect that the media-stunt was somehow a real prank/robbery!). They then used the bank employee members of Fight Club to enter the inner-vault and then began decoding the locks to break in; they left the bank that day with $20 million in two duffel-bags. They delivered them to the White House lawn (after flying home on Matt's private-jet) with the elegy-note, "These are for you, Mr. President; this money is from a Swiss bank, which Fight Club robbed as a sacred capitalism-euphoria message designed to help the world forget about the scars of 9/11. We want you to personally return the money to the great Swiss bank and remind Americans that everyday people really do care about consumerism-pedagoguery..."
TRUMP: This 'Fight Club' certainly cares about consumerism.
CARTER: Hehe, the Swiss bank-job was a real ingenious media-stunt!
TRUMP: I'm sure someone's going to turn this into some Tom Cruise movie.
CARTER: Yes. Maybe Brett Ratner...
TRUMP: Who knows? Well, I admit Fight Club's got me thinking...
CARTER: I say we invite the 'executives' of Fight Club to a White House lunch.
TRUMP: Yes, we'll invite celebrity-chef Michael Chiarello to cater/host the event.
CARTER: We'll serve baby-back ribs, garlic-potatoes, and white wine!
TRUMP: We'll have a little Fight Club styled water-gun fight before lunch...
CARTER: Sounds fun!
TRUMP: Yeah, it's too bad the numerous anti-TrumpUSA protests have scarred the press.
CARTER: Yes, consumers are simply very anxious about Wall Street, NATO, etc.
TRUMP: Maybe the World Bank or the European Union can offer a dose of hope!
CARTER: Today's economics/business students need to embrace capitalism values.
TRUMP: Then, we won't need Fight Club.
CARTER: They'll be missed...but remembered!
TRUMP: They were modern era patriots/gladiators, Carter.
CARTER: Let's begin planning this Chiarello White House lunch.
TRUMP: Sounds promising...
CARTER: I'll contact CNN.
The Fight Club lunch at the White House went very well. There was a fun pre-lunch water-gun fight on the White House lawn and during lunch, President Trump offered up a special warm white-wine toast to the special 'pedestrian joy' Fight Club offered America in a time when there was simply not enough consumerism optimism toward Wall Street and NASDAQ. Ajay and Matt knew that Fight Club would be canonized as special prayer. Would Fight Club be remembered as the modern-era Merry Men?
====
Signing off,
====
Americans began collecting authentic relics of Big '80s Reaganomics-era consumerism including Sony Walkmans, compact audio cassettes, Apple Macintoshes, McDonald's Happy Meal toys, and Izod shirts. These relics would become collector's items for the future, and archaeologists in the future would certainly consider them symbolic and hence valuable. After all, shouldn't mass commerce-traffic create some vestige of toy-like imagination?
American post-office workers were sending mail across the country as email was replacing paper-mail steadily. Of course, people still sent supplies, parcels, gifts, and groceries though regular land/paper-mail, but email was becoming so darn popular that post-officer workers felt like they were becoming 'obsolete' (like the Pony Express workers of yesteryear!). These post-office workers noted the various Big '80s consumerism relics/toys being mailed across America by consumerism-collecting 'amateur-archaeologists.' The post-office workers now wondered if art itself would be replaced by Facebook and FaceTime(!).
An American Ivy League student named Ajay was blogging on the Internet about the sanctity of bottled-water in this modern age of eco-pollution and wondered if the mass use of email (which saved lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of paper) was good for Earth! After all, the need to cut down trees for wood (necessary for making paper!) was now reduced. American actor/celebrity Matthew McConaughey (star of Contact, Dazed and Confused, and The Lincoln Lawyer) read Ajay's posts and wanted to meet him. when Matt and Ajay met, they realized they were equally and both 'capitalism idealists.' They decided to organize an 'American fight club' in which members would be 'recruited' (or 'tapped') to carry toy water-pistols while working their normal/regular jobs in the summertime and every now and then (without warning!) fire them (as an expression of eco-activism).
Matt became so fascinated by the idea that he had his movie-agents request for script ideas for films about 'modern American romantics' trying to turn the Wal-Mart culture on its head and rejuvenate capitalism with a dose of much-needed 'activism-optimism.' After all, the various/numerous 'anti-TrumpUSA street-protests' were getting rather dry. Ajay and Matt got the idea to invite U.S. President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump to a White House lawn water-gun fight that summer. It would be the capitalism-ritual version of the Indian color-spraying festival of Holi. Trump loved the idea and Melania invited iconic and fun-loving American actress Kirsten Dunst to the 'White House lawn Fight Club sponsored water-gun fight.'
After the news of Ajay and Matt's 'Fight Club' spread, soon, many others wanted to join in, and mini-fight-clubs were popping up across the USA --- including one in Seattle (led by Courtney Love), one in Australia (led by Paul Hogan), one in Germany (led by Boris Becker), and one in Miami, Florida (led by Donald Trump, Jr.). As these 'secret fight clubs' were becoming subculture phenomena (just like comic book media!), the producers of the DC Comics Green Arrow adapted TV series Arrow (starring Stephen Amell) decided to make one episode about these water-gun fight-clubs (in which the 'super-villain' eco-terrorist Ra's al Ghul was involved).
Ajay and Matt now knew their capitalism-crusading Fight Club was a complete success (and glory). They decided to take their 'mission' up to the next level. They asked Matt's celebrity-friend Tom Cruise to help them search for an iconic Swiss bank --- to rob for a media-PR stunt(!). Cruise agreed to help them and showed them an incredible bank with a pretty ominous/awesome security and gauntlet lock system. Ajay and Matt looked at the blueprints and layout of the bank and then went about planning their heist, recruiting 'key members' of Fight Club including attractive female post-office workers, the idealistic American actor Matt Damon, and a few bank employees.
Ajay and Matt burst into the bank with balaclavas and large Blade-Runner themed clear gray plastic toy water-guns. They told the bank employees they were performing a 'capitalism-hoax' as a pro-TrumpUSA media-stunt. They brought their own Fight Club camera-men (also wearing ski-masks) and used their undercover female post-office workers to front as hostages (should anyone suspect that the media-stunt was somehow a real prank/robbery!). They then used the bank employee members of Fight Club to enter the inner-vault and then began decoding the locks to break in; they left the bank that day with $20 million in two duffel-bags. They delivered them to the White House lawn (after flying home on Matt's private-jet) with the elegy-note, "These are for you, Mr. President; this money is from a Swiss bank, which Fight Club robbed as a sacred capitalism-euphoria message designed to help the world forget about the scars of 9/11. We want you to personally return the money to the great Swiss bank and remind Americans that everyday people really do care about consumerism-pedagoguery..."
TRUMP: This 'Fight Club' certainly cares about consumerism.
CARTER: Hehe, the Swiss bank-job was a real ingenious media-stunt!
TRUMP: I'm sure someone's going to turn this into some Tom Cruise movie.
CARTER: Yes. Maybe Brett Ratner...
TRUMP: Who knows? Well, I admit Fight Club's got me thinking...
CARTER: I say we invite the 'executives' of Fight Club to a White House lunch.
TRUMP: Yes, we'll invite celebrity-chef Michael Chiarello to cater/host the event.
CARTER: We'll serve baby-back ribs, garlic-potatoes, and white wine!
TRUMP: We'll have a little Fight Club styled water-gun fight before lunch...
CARTER: Sounds fun!
TRUMP: Yeah, it's too bad the numerous anti-TrumpUSA protests have scarred the press.
CARTER: Yes, consumers are simply very anxious about Wall Street, NATO, etc.
TRUMP: Maybe the World Bank or the European Union can offer a dose of hope!
CARTER: Today's economics/business students need to embrace capitalism values.
TRUMP: Then, we won't need Fight Club.
CARTER: They'll be missed...but remembered!
TRUMP: They were modern era patriots/gladiators, Carter.
CARTER: Let's begin planning this Chiarello White House lunch.
TRUMP: Sounds promising...
CARTER: I'll contact CNN.
The Fight Club lunch at the White House went very well. There was a fun pre-lunch water-gun fight on the White House lawn and during lunch, President Trump offered up a special warm white-wine toast to the special 'pedestrian joy' Fight Club offered America in a time when there was simply not enough consumerism optimism toward Wall Street and NASDAQ. Ajay and Matt knew that Fight Club would be canonized as special prayer. Would Fight Club be remembered as the modern-era Merry Men?
====
