Beliefs of Democrats

Discussion in 'Politics' started by William Joyce, Dec 17, 2005.

  1. William Joyce
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    William Joyce Chemotherapy for PC

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    Are kinda funny...

    > Subject: Fw: 22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

    1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand

    2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

    3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by Soccer moms driving SUV's.

    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

    7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

    8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
    how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
    activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
    of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain Parts
    of the Constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
    high.

    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
    more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
    Lee,and Thomas Edison.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
    racial quotas and set-asides are not.

    16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
    nice person.

    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
    anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
    Charge.

    18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
    jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
    transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected,
    and Manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    20. You haveto believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
    Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the
    United States.

    21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

    22. You have to believe that Ted Kennedy is not a pig or a murderer, nor does he look like he is drunk most of the time.
     
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  2. Max Power
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    18 Ways to be a good Republican

    1.) You have to believe that the AIDS virus was created by a magical deity to punish mankind.

    2.) You have to believe that the topic of sex is more dangerous to children than exposure to violence and murder via media.

    3.) You have to believe democratic nuclear weapons are less of a threat to the world than communist nuclear weapons.

    4.) You have to believe that the best art comes from corporate associations.

    5.) You have to believe every American has the right to drive a 6 person 10 mpg Sport Van to work and back and that we need to widen all the roads, create more parking lots, and drill for more oil wherever possible, or invade other countries if needed.

    6.) You have to believe that homosexuality is new to our society, and the the ideal TV 50's was the perfect era.

    7.) You have to believe that preventing abortion of an inseminated egg is more important than poverty, war, peace, loss of innocent lives or hunger.

    8.) You have to believe that dominating businesses like mcdonalds, coca cola, starbucks, walmart and microsoft showcase what quality businesses are all about, and that a government that promotes paranoia, war and censorship will create prosperity.

    9.) You have to believe that money is more important than actually doing something good to earn it.

    10.) You have to believe in the corrupt politicians that start wars as long as they are conservative.

    11.) You have to believe that taxes and gas prices are too high, and that we should increase military spending as an investment in oil.

    12.) You have to believe that women have no place in history or politics except perhaps as first lady to a great man.

    13.) You have to believe that standardized tests can help an outdated education system that teaches no modern skills.

    14.) You don't really know the distinction between socialism and communism, and fail to realize that much of Europe, Canada and some US policies are socialist.

    15.) You have to believe conservatives exaggerating the truth to go to war belong in the White House.

    16.) You have to believe the separation of church and state should be ignored by Christians when appropriate.

    17.) You have to believe that illegal corporate Republican funding is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

    18.) You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left wing conspiracy.
     
  3. ThomasPaine
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    ThomasPaine Active Member

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    propaganda.....as usual...
     
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  4. musicman
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    The "magical deity" warned us that homosexuality is an abomination. Mankind punished itself.

    The liberal media suffers from a sick obsession with all three. Conservatives seek parental control - be it the screen or the classsroom. That's unreasonable?

    They are.

    Well, corporate sponsors didn't bring us "Piss Christ". They get points just for that, as far as I'm concerned.

    They do.

    We do.

    Quite apart from the oil question, we do. We must defend ourselves, and our interests.

    Governments don't create prosperity, Max. I know that liberals can't get their minds around that; your mistake, then, is perfectly understandable.

    So, George Soros and Ted Kennedy have done GOOD things to earn their money? Right - they're the GOOD criminals - in the same sense that Robert Byrd is the GOOD Klan member.

    In George Bush, we finally have a president who accepts that we are AT WAR - have been for a long time.

    They are.

    How about as an investment in national defense? I know you miss the good old days of Clinton, but it seems we're paying the price for his essential gutlessness.

    I'd settle for literacy, and children who could do sums up to thirty without removing their shoes. That seems a bit too "judgemental", though; self-esteem is the important thing.

    For the fact that only "some" U.S. policies are socialist, you can thank conservatives.

    Once again, we've been "at war" for a long time - this president has merely decided that we'd better actually participate; maybe even defend ourselves.

    "Separation of church and state" - as espoused by liberals - is a fantasy.

    Bill Clinton sold out American energy independence to the Indonesians for campaign funding. He crawled into bed with the Peoples' Republic of China, and whispered to them our most sensitive technological secrets in exchange for campaign funding. The damage this traitorous whore did to his country is incalculable. You've got more nerve than a daylight burglar - bringing up campaign funding. Tell it to George Soros.

    I omitted items 6,7,12, and 18, as they were incomprehensible jibberish.
     
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  5. Max Power
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    ROFL.
    You guys can dish it, but sure can't take it.

    Musicman, I'm not going to read your post, as you're taking a JOKE far too seriously.
     
  6. musicman
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    musicman Senior Member

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    Ah, yes - the familiar liberal gambit. When caught in a bare-assed lie, claim that you were kidding.

    Good one, Max. I laughed and laughed.
     
  7. Max Power
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    Hey, it's not my fault that you "conservatives" can dish it but can't take it.
     
  8. musicman
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    musicman Senior Member

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    I'll bet WJ wasn't kidding, and I DAMN sure wasn't. Your idiotic response didn't fly. Laugh, clown - laugh.
     
  9. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

    Amen to this!
     
  10. William Joyce
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    William Joyce Chemotherapy for PC

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    Funny list, Max...

    But there's only 18!!!
     

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