- Jan 27, 2017
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Or How I Survived All the Crap That Tried To Kill Me and All the Crap They Said Would Kill Me
Childhood is a wonderland of exploration, experiences and moments of mind numbing terror. Looking back from our grown up perspective, I'm sure we can see even more opportortunities for mayhem an a tragic accident than we saw back then.
Remember lawn darts? Holy hell! What satanic bastard thought of putting wings on sharp pointy rods of metal? Now... I know these were meant to be gently tossed and not flung high in the sky but their ain't a thing made that kids won't abuse and use in the wrong way. We'd stand in a group and fling one high in the air. First one lo run like an assed shot bunny was a loser.I wonder how many kids ended up wearing one of those for a hat?
The American car back seat. Back before seat belts kids sat in the seat in ignorant bliss of racing towards the windshield.at mach speeds. But we didn't sit for long. If the trip lasted more than two and a half minutes. That's how long it took us to get bored and start thinking of things to do. Like pummeling your brother for looking funny. Using the seat for a trampoline and the back dash as a hostel. Kicking the back seat so you can experiment with how long it took mom to threaten to stop the car while she flailed wildly with one arm in the vain hope of making contact with your head.
Lead paint. It was everywhere and we loved it! Even our high chairs and cribs had this insidious substance and we just didn't give a shit cuz we just didn't know. I personally don't know of anyone that died from munching a bowl of paint chips, but I suppose some did. That's what ya get for acting like paint was doritos and eating your baby furniture.
To be continued.....
Childhood is a wonderland of exploration, experiences and moments of mind numbing terror. Looking back from our grown up perspective, I'm sure we can see even more opportortunities for mayhem an a tragic accident than we saw back then.
Remember lawn darts? Holy hell! What satanic bastard thought of putting wings on sharp pointy rods of metal? Now... I know these were meant to be gently tossed and not flung high in the sky but their ain't a thing made that kids won't abuse and use in the wrong way. We'd stand in a group and fling one high in the air. First one lo run like an assed shot bunny was a loser.I wonder how many kids ended up wearing one of those for a hat?
The American car back seat. Back before seat belts kids sat in the seat in ignorant bliss of racing towards the windshield.at mach speeds. But we didn't sit for long. If the trip lasted more than two and a half minutes. That's how long it took us to get bored and start thinking of things to do. Like pummeling your brother for looking funny. Using the seat for a trampoline and the back dash as a hostel. Kicking the back seat so you can experiment with how long it took mom to threaten to stop the car while she flailed wildly with one arm in the vain hope of making contact with your head.
Lead paint. It was everywhere and we loved it! Even our high chairs and cribs had this insidious substance and we just didn't give a shit cuz we just didn't know. I personally don't know of anyone that died from munching a bowl of paint chips, but I suppose some did. That's what ya get for acting like paint was doritos and eating your baby furniture.
To be continued.....
