A day in the life of a leftist liberal

Discussion in 'Humor' started by bucs90, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. bucs90
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    bucs90 Gold Member

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    Oh, I just had to respond to 'A day in the life of a Republican'. Enjoy.

    Somewhere near Phoenix, AZ:

    1145 am- Liberal wakes up, since he doesn't have to go to work or only works part time. Turns on MSNBC. Checks his mail, which includes his welfare check and new food stamp card, which are paid for by rich people's tax money.

    1200 pm- Gets into his new hybrid and leaves his mother's house. Sneers at the neighbors who are driving a Ford SUV. Turns onto the US interstate, which is paid for and maintained by rich people's tax money.

    1230 pm- Gets downtown and walks toward Starbucks. Does not get robbed or raped because there are cops on patrol, cops who mostly lean politically right, and would die to protect him if necessary......but whom he will call racist on USMB.

    0100 pm- Goes into Starbucks and puts on his apron. He works part-time here, getting paid by Starbucks, a rich company, run by rich CEO's. His modest check is enough to show employment and to get by with. On his break from the job the rich people gave him, he scolds rich CEO's on USMB.

    0230 pm- His mom calls him, angry that he still hasnt gotten a "real job". He says he has applied at lots of companies, run by rich people, but none of them appreciate his worth as a recent college grad, and they want him to work too many hours, at an entry level position, for too little pay.....in his opinion. He is angry that no company will pay him more money....but then types on USMB that Obama should raise taxes on the rich.

    0400 pm- The liberal gets off work, the to the parking garage. He finds that his beloved Prius has been broken into. He calls the cops, who he blasted on USMB, to find the guy. They find him. It's an 18 year old 9th grader from the local public school. The crook has no remorse, and says go ahead and arrest him. No father figure at home to discipline him. The kid doesn't care about crime. Public schools obviously havent' helped him. Cops arrest the kid. He says he steals because he can't find part time work in fast food, landscaping, construction, etc. All those jobs that once were held by high school kids now belong to illegal aliens.

    0430 pm- The liberal blasts AZ's new immigration law on USMB.

    0500 pm- The liberal tunes in to Keith Olbermann for further instruction.

    0545 pm- The liberal welcomes his mother home from work. She is in tears. He asks whats wrong? She just got laid off from work. He says "Oh no mom, why?" She says company had to downsize to cut costs. He scolds the evil CEO and rich company on USMB.

    0555 pm- He then watches MSNBC explain why Obama should raise taxes on rich people and companies. He shouts out "Yeah, thats right" failing to grasp the idea that raising taxes on them will cause them to layoff workers. Like his mom.

    0700 pm- The brave liberal gets back into his Prius and meets his liberal friends at their house. They sit around and talk about how bad Bush was and how dumb Palin is. Our brave liberal starts complaining about how he doesn't have health insurance, and how Obama should've included a public option.

    0705 pm- A company calls the liberal on his cell phone. They offer him a job. Entry level. 40 hrs a week. Starting pay $25,000, with medical coverage. Liberal says he'll consider.

    0710 pm- Liberal's friends remind him he has a degree from UC Berkeley and is worth way more than 25K and should hold out, that the job is an insult to him. Liberal holds out and refuses the job. He calls the rich company back and refuses the job. The liberal recalls his UC Berkeley degree, paid for by government grants (rich people tax money) and all the great times he had at that school, which is funded by rich people tax money.

    0730 pm- Liberal drives back to Starbucks, passing the full time working adults driving home from a full days work.

    0900 pm- Liberal meets back at Starbucks for coffee with friends. On the free wireless internet the rich CEO of Starbucks approved his rich company to provide, the libs get online and blast conservative rich people on USMB. Since Starbucks is such a successful, wealthy company, they can basically be a library and the libs get all the good Al Franken and anti-Bush books to read for free while using free wifi and drink coffee.

    1100 pm- With Starbucks closing, they want to continue to have their intellectual debates. They drive to the nearby beautiful national park, built and maintained by tax money taken from the rich. In that park that was built, maintained and preserved through federal income tax money taken from the rich, the blast the rich for not wanting to pay their fair share and not wanting to protect the environment.

    0100 am- They make the long drive back on the US interstate, built and maintained by rich people's tax money. They openly discuss the evils of Christianity and conservatism. As they drive, they pass an "Adopt-a-Highway" sign stating the mile they are on was adopted by "Arizona Baptist Church".............and the liberal happens to not see the sign, because he was busy tossing his cigarette butt out the window.

    0130 am- Liberal lays down to sleep, catching the late re-run of Chris Matthews. As he watches MSNBC talk about how dumb Sarah Palin is.....the liberal falls alseep and dreams of the day when there won't be any more rich people or conservatives.
     
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  2. CrusaderFrank
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    CrusaderFrank Diamond Member

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    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to bucs90 again

    Please suspend this rule!!!

    Bucs, that was a classic!!!
     
  3. Oddball
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    Oddball BANNED Supporting Member

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    You left out the part about linking to Media Matters, Fact Check, Daily Kooks and HRPuffinstuffPost as "proof" of how much rich people suck. :lol:
     
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  4. CrusaderFrank
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    CrusaderFrank Diamond Member

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    They don a hazmat suit to prevent their deadly, sensitive CO2 from escaping into the atmosphere
     
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  5. bucs90
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    bucs90 Gold Member

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    You know guys, this was kind of fun. Lets keep it going, but I'll need you all to contribute the our liberal's ongoing day:

    "The next day"

    - 1030 am - The heroic liberal awakens, gets up early to grab his copy of the NY Times. He has to go with his girlfriend to her doctors appointment. She is 2 months pregnant, and they have to get their early to decide on whether their future son is going to get to live or not.
     
  6. CrusaderFrank
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    CrusaderFrank Diamond Member

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    Bucs, you drove the Moonbats into a frezny. No doubt they're looking for the closest Obama orchestrated Astroturf coffee party
     
  7. bucs90
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    bucs90 Gold Member

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    Thanks. I thought there would be a flood of liberal rage on this thread.

    But there isn't. I was confused for a moment:eusa_eh:

    But not anymore.

    See, the libs read that post. And didn't get the joke. They didn't understand the point of it, because they didn't understand why me laying out their typical day was funny or provocative. And that is what makes it so damn fun.
     
  8. bucs90
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    bucs90 Gold Member

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    1130 am- The herioc liberal and his girlfriend decide to keep the baby! Yay for the baby! They thought of maybe just killing it and letting the doc dump it into the trash can with the office secretary's garbage bag, but no, they chose to let it live.

    1145 am- The herioc liberal goes in to work at Starbucks for his 3 hour shift. A gentleman walks up to buy a coffee and the lib makes it for him. He looks at the customer in pure disgust, as the man is holding Mark Levine's book "Liberty and Tyranny". Our heroic liberal thinks to himself "I should spit in his coffee" but doesn't. He hands the man his coffee and quickly processes the sale. The man gives the liberal a $2 tip on a $4 coffee, and the lib thinks to himself "Greedy rich bastard, he probably voted for Bush".

    0300 pm- Our heroic liberal gets off work and walks towards the front door of the store. He passes a young Marine who is in the store wearing his dress blues. The liberal snarls at him with a nasty look, thinking to himself "War mongering, anti-gay right wing lunatic" and ponders the evils of Don't Ask Don't Tell, and thinks about this as he walks past a news stand that has a magazine with the cover depicting how Iran executes it's homosexual citizens.
     
  9. Scaybeez
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    Scaybeez Member

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    Maybe your attempt at humor was simply poorly executed. :eusa_shhh:
     
  10. bucs90
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    bucs90 Gold Member

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    0400 pm- The liberal's friend (you) gets on USMB and sees a post making fun of his ideology. Rather than offer constructive rebuttal, he simply issues a general criticism. (nothing personal man, this thread is just for some humor).

    0401 pm- The heroic liberal gets on USMB and see's Bucs90 making fun of his liberal friend's post. He shouts out in a rage "Those damn rightwingers"! He then gets onto a global warming chat forum. He preaches and gives links to all that is fact about the global warming legislation and evils of oil. He does this on a plastic keyboard and computer, plastic made of petroleum, with his lights on that use energy, and his radio tuned to the Ed Shultz talk show using more energy, and then agrees with memebers of the forum to get in their cars and drive to Starbucks to discuss the evils of oil usage.
     

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