Yet another blonde....

[Bootneck]

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.

With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door" She did.

He then said, "Get on your knees" She did.

Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did.

He said, "Go ahead...take it out" She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead!"

The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly "HELLO.....MUM???

 

[Bootneck]

Steve Irwin walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side and puts it up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. "Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
Steve stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his tackle in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, Steve grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The gator opened his mouth and he removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
He stood up again and made another offer.
" I'll pay anyone £100 who's willing to do the same thing"
A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A Blonde woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try it! Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"