Woke Disney churns out another Star Wars

[Votto]

New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.

babylonbee.com

New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month
ENTERTAINMENT·Jan 4, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
"We think female audiences will relate to a character who becomes moody and homicidal once a month," the film's director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy told reporters in a press conference this week. "I mean, our target demographic is definitely women, right? So featuring an empowered, self-assured female Jedi who just sort of goes on a Dark Side-y type rampage once a month for…reasons…will click with the millions of women who flock to see our films."
"The force is female, and we know that a diverse, female-led Star Wars franchise is the key to the hearts of modern audiences," she said.



Obaid-Chinoy said they did extensive research on why a lady Jedi might turn evil once a month and discovered that mostly it relates to the fact that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to women needing a little alone time, a good bar of chocolate, and a hot bath.
At publishing time, focus groups viewing the film reported slight uneasiness watching the main character yell at restaurant servers, stuff her face full of McDonald's french fries, and cry uncontrollably over an off-handed comment made by one of her male Jedi counterparts.

 

[jbrownson0831]

New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.

babylonbee.com

New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month
ENTERTAINMENT·Jan 4, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
"We think female audiences will relate to a character who becomes moody and homicidal once a month," the film's director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy told reporters in a press conference this week. "I mean, our target demographic is definitely women, right? So featuring an empowered, self-assured female Jedi who just sort of goes on a Dark Side-y type rampage once a month for…reasons…will click with the millions of women who flock to see our films."
"The force is female, and we know that a diverse, female-led Star Wars franchise is the key to the hearts of modern audiences," she said.



Obaid-Chinoy said they did extensive research on why a lady Jedi might turn evil once a month and discovered that mostly it relates to the fact that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to women needing a little alone time, a good bar of chocolate, and a hot bath.
At publishing time, focus groups viewing the film reported slight uneasiness watching the main character yell at restaurant servers, stuff her face full of McDonald's french fries, and cry uncontrollably over an off-handed comment made by one of her male Jedi counterparts.

...and drinks Bud Lightsaber???

 

[Flash]

George Lucas created a wonderful thing with the first three Star Wars movies. Then the franchise suffered a setback with the next three mediocre films. Rogue One was an improvement but the Hans Solo movie was a disappointment.

Then Disney decided to completely ruin everything. The only thing worthwhile to come out of Disney has been the Andor series. Everything else has been crap.

That article by the OP is of course Babylon Bee satire but would not be surprised if Disney was actually working on it. They are that stupid.

 

[1srelluc]

 

[citygator]

The next Babylon Bee article i read that is funny will be the first.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

 

[CrusaderFrank]

George Lucas created a wonderful thing with the first three Star Wars movies. Then the franchise suffered a setback with the next three mediocre films. Rogue One was an improvement but the Hans Solo movie was a disappointment.

Then Disney decided to completely ruin everything. The only thing worthwhile to come out of Disney has been the Andor series. Everything else has been crap.

That article by the OP is of course Babylon Bee satire but would not be surprised if Disney was actually working on it. They are that stupid.

Rouge One saved the franchise

 

[Flash]

The next Babylon Bee article i read that is funny will be the first.

That is because you are full of mindless Leftest hate and have no appreciation of satire.

However, let me guess, you are one of these uneducated morons that actually thought Doonesbury was cool. Am I right or am I right?

By the way. The real reason Musk used some of his "fuck you" money to buy Twitter was because the Leftest assholes banned the Bee. LOL! Hows dem crackers?

 

[hadit]

The next Babylon Bee article i read that is funny will be the first.

There is nothing sadder than a person with no sense of humor that simply cannot laugh at themselves or anything too close to them.

 

[1srelluc]

There is nothing sadder than a person with no sense of humor that simply cannot laugh at themselves or anything too close to them.

He is quite the stick in the mud isn't he?

 

[hadit]

He is quite the stick in the mud isn't he?

It's kind of like jumping into a thread where people are discussing the best fast-food burgers to insist one never eats fast-food burgers, or a thread in which people are discussing the policies of the Catholic Church to insist one doesn't believe in God and anyone who does is a poopyhead. IOW, why bother to make sure people know you don't like something when it has nothing to do with the discussion?

 

[Votto]

There is nothing sadder than a person with no sense of humor that simply cannot laugh at themselves or anything too close to them.

I dunno. I find them pretty clueless and hilarious with zero self awareness.

The Left is comic gold



The Left has become the bud of pretty much ever joke out there.

 

[hadit]

I dunno. I find them pretty clueless and hilarious with zero self awareness.

The Left is comic gold

I guess I should have differentiated between laughing AT and laughing WITH. We do laugh at them, but they cannot seem to laugh with anyone.

 

[Votto]

I guess I should have differentiated between laughing AT and laughing WITH. We do laugh at them, but they cannot seem to laugh with anyone.

People with humor have higher IQ's.

Funny People Have Higher IQs Than Their Dull Peers

Both men and women rate funny people as more attractive, too.

www.newsweek.com

 

[citygator]

That is because you are full of mindless Leftest hate and have no appreciation of satire.

However, let me guess, you are one of these uneducated morons that actually thought Doonesbury was cool. Am I right or am I right?

By the way. The real reason Musk used some of his "fuck you" money to buy Twitter was because the Leftest assholes banned the Bee. LOL! Hows dem crackers?

I appreciate cleverness. Babylon Bee lacks cleverness in a big way. Much like the 5 show on Fox. They laugh at themselves just saying other people are weird or dont get it. That is moronic. Much like the Babylon Bee. To be funny you have to be clever which is why all the great comedians today are not conservative dummies. Including the vastly superior Onion vs the knuckled dragging Babylon Bee.

 

[BluesLegend]

There is nothing sadder than a person with no sense of humor that simply cannot laugh at themselves or anything too close to them.

Dems are humorless sourpusses.

 

[Flash]

South Park mocks Disney for pushing Diversity, Equity & Inclusion into its films while mocking Lucasfilm’s President Kathleen Kennedy.

“Put another gay diverse woman in it, make it more lame! ”

pic.twitter.com/TDAS9KH7Ja

 

[GLASNOST]

Woke Disney churns out another Star Wars​

Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month

If Disney makes money on it it won't be from any contribution from me.

 

[Flash]

I appreciate cleverness. Babylon Bee lacks cleverness in a big way. Much like the 5 show on Fox. They laugh at themselves just saying other people are weird or dont get it. That is moronic. Much like the Babylon Bee. To be funny you have to be clever which is why all the great comedians today are not conservative dummies. Including the vastly superior Onion vs the knuckled dragging Babylon Bee.

You are lying again you stupid Moon Bat. You don't like the Bee because it makes fun of all the Liberal filth that you love so much.

It is hilarious satire directed towards pompous and confused Leftest assholes and you being a stupid Moon Bat get butt hurt over it. Meanwhile idiots like you get the giggles watching the Leftest hate and stupidity on Saturday Night Live.

 

[citygator]

You are lying again you stupid Moon Bat. You don't like the Bee because it makes fun of all the Liberal filth that you love so much.

It is hilarious satire directed towards pompous and confused Leftest assholes and you being a stupid Moon Bat get butt hurt over it. Meanwhile idiots like you get the giggles watching the Leftest hate and stupidity on Saturday Night Live.

Yawn. Like I said. Nothing clever.